New baby and post birth advice #60

How old is your baby

  • Freshly cooked

  • 0-3 months

  • 4-6 months

  • 7-9 months

  • 10-12 months

  • 13-18 months

  • Older than this but I don’t want to leave

  • Pregnant and preparing

  • Just nosing

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Hinchhater1442 said:
Soooooo, I know there’s no ‘best’ age gap, but for those that have more than one child- opinions on a 2 year age gap? All being well I’d like to start trying for baby no.2 in the autumn, and if I fall as quickly as I did the first time, they’d be due almost exactly 2 years after my first was born. Of course it could take longer meaning the gap would be bigger, but as a minimum it would be 2 years🤔 can’t work out if I’m mad or not hahahahelp
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I don’t think you’re mad, I’m due no.2 late feb/early March and no.1 will be 2 in January 😅
I’m sure there’s gonna be loads of moments where we’re going to be like ‘what have we done’ though 🤣
 
Hinchhater1442 said:
Soooooo, I know there’s no ‘best’ age gap, but for those that have more than one child- opinions on a 2 year age gap? All being well I’d like to start trying for baby no.2 in the autumn, and if I fall as quickly as I did the first time, they’d be due almost exactly 2 years after my first was born. Of course it could take longer meaning the gap would be bigger, but as a minimum it would be 2 years🤔 can’t work out if I’m mad or not hahahahelp
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I’ve got 2y 10m between mine and honestly, it’s carnage 🤣 I sometimes wish I’d left it abit longer so the older one dosnt need me ‘as much’. It’s hard because she’s still only young (just turned 3) and not in full time nursery or anything yet meaning trying to get her to her activities and out and about for the day with a baby in tow is quite difficult. She still needs me to play with her at soft plays/play groups etc which has also proven difficult at times especially when breast feeding the baby so much in the early weeks. Some positives are that she’s potty trained so no extra nappies, can sort of entertain herself and play with her toys for a short time, she understands a lot of what I say to her at this age and she sleeps really well. But guaranteed as soon as I try to get the baby down to nap she wakes him up or as soon as he latches for a feed she needs the toilet and for me to wipe her bum 🤣 it’s hard right now but imagining it to become easier when she starts nursery in a few weeks. I don’t want to try and put you off - this is just my experience!
 
Crones884 said:
Im almost 32 and my husband is 36 so we need to go asap really 😂😂
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Now now I'm 32 myself and hubby 35 were not old 🧐🧐🧐
I just have a logic no point being out of nappies for a while just get it done. I definitely would love another , a third be a bonus but my husband definitely doesn't want a third hahahaha

I don't think there is ever a right time or a right number. You will just manage with what you have. You've no choice
 
opintionatedperson said:
Now now I'm 32 myself and hubby 35 were not old 🧐🧐🧐
I just have a logic no point being out of nappies for a while just get it done. I definitely would love another , a third be a bonus but my husband definitely doesn't want a third hahahaha

I don't think there is ever a right time or a right number. You will just manage with what you have. You've no choice
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My fear is twins as there is a lot of twins in both our families. My husband wants at least 3 so if we had them we'd be finished but also could you imagine the chaos with 3 under 2 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
Hinchhater1442 said:
Soooooo, I know there’s no ‘best’ age gap, but for those that have more than one child- opinions on a 2 year age gap? All being well I’d like to start trying for baby no.2 in the autumn, and if I fall as quickly as I did the first time, they’d be due almost exactly 2 years after my first was born. Of course it could take longer meaning the gap would be bigger, but as a minimum it would be 2 years🤔 can’t work out if I’m mad or not hahahahelp
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My age gap is 4 years and honestly in the early days I wished it was smaller 🤣 mainly because I felt like because of their age gap they needed different things from me, things I could do with my eldest I couldn't do if inhad the youngest with me. However a year in to having two it's so much easier!
I originally wanted to try for baby 2 when my eldest was 2 but two things put me off - I adored when she was 2! It was such a fun age that i just wanted to enjoy! Second was the thought of birth again 🤣
One good thing to my gap was being pregnant absolutely exhausts me and 2nd time was worse than first! So by then the oldest was at nursery so I had a bit more time to relax during the day when I wasn't working
 
If we didn’t have such a long journey to no.1 (took almost 10 years 😭) then we probably would’ve waited a tiny bit longer before trying for a second.. but we both turn 35 this year so not sure how long we have left and it being , we just didn’t prevent anything since my son was born so it took just over a year before we got pregnant this time.

I think if we could’ve planned better and not had spent 10 years ttc for our first then ideally it would be nice to have the first out of nappies at least? 😂

I imagine it’s going to be absolute chaos everyday but at least my husband wfh if I get really stuck 😬🤣
 
anything at all said:
If we didn’t have such a long journey to no.1 (took almost 10 years 😭) then we probably would’ve waited a tiny bit longer before trying for a second.. but we both turn 35 this year so not sure how long we have left and it being , we just didn’t prevent anything since my son was born so it took just over a year before we got pregnant this time.

I think if we could’ve planned better and not had spent 10 years ttc for our first then ideally it would be nice to have the first out of nappies at least? 😂

I imagine it’s going to be absolute chaos everyday but at least my husband wfh if I get really stuck 😬🤣
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I think the longer you leave it the easier it is to put off aswell 🤣
Congrats on baby 2 💕 having 2 is chaos regardless of age gap 🤣
 
We have 4 years between mini breakfast and baby breakfast. Baby breakfast arrived the summer just before mini started school and I was counting down the days until she went after she finished nursery last August 😂 it was HARD. Any age gap is hard I think. I found it hard that I'd just got used to my freedom, mini could go for sleepovers and was more independent, we could just pop out without having to lug a buggy and changing bag. So I felt like I was going back to square one! But, also, for me, I found the baby years hard going and I don't think I would have coped with a smaller age gap than say 3 years. We might have had a smaller age gap if I hadn't started a new job when mini was 2 so we had to wait for me to qualify for maternity pay, but it is what it is! They love each other so much now and mini being at school meant I got lots of 121 time with baby breakfast that I wouldn't with a smaller gap. Pros and cons to however it works out or if you are one and done!
 
Hi all, can anyone reassure me about colostrum harvesting please? I’m almost 40 weeks pregnant and have been trying to hand express colostrum pretty much every day since I was 37 weeks with no luck whatsoever 😔 I know it’s not necessary and is more of a ‘just in case’ thing but I’m beginning to worry I won’t have any colostrum once the baby arrives. Did anyone have the same issue and go on to successfully breastfeed?
 
Hinchhater1442 said:
Soooooo, I know there’s no ‘best’ age gap, but for those that have more than one child- opinions on a 2 year age gap? All being well I’d like to start trying for baby no.2 in the autumn, and if I fall as quickly as I did the first time, they’d be due almost exactly 2 years after my first was born. Of course it could take longer meaning the gap would be bigger, but as a minimum it would be 2 years🤔 can’t work out if I’m mad or not hahahahelp
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We aimed to be pregnant with number 2 for our firsts second birthday but that didn't happen. He arrived a month before eldest was 3. The pregnancy was hard. Not only being older but running around after a toddler meant I couldn't rest when I needed to. Now he's here I'm grateful our eldest is a little older and potty trained. It's very hard work. When we had our first we could at least rest in the morning until my OH started work at 9 but now we have to get up and ready to take eldest to preschool. It's also hard getting our youngest to nap during the day when our eldest is about. He's loud and like a freaking tornado 😂 That's without considering the complete lack of personal space and total overwhelm. They are very cute together though and things will get easier and change as they get older ❤️
 
RibenaBerry said:
Hi all, can anyone reassure me about colostrum harvesting please? I’m almost 40 weeks pregnant and have been trying to hand express colostrum pretty much every day since I was 37 weeks with no luck whatsoever 😔 I know it’s not necessary and is more of a ‘just in case’ thing but I’m beginning to worry I won’t have any colostrum once the baby arrives. Did anyone have the same issue and go on to successfully breastfeed?
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Hi, I was induced at 37w 3d so I never got the go ahead to harvest colostrum as I was waiting until that appointment to ask and they ended up inducing me. Anyways I didn't have anything but managed to hand express once baby arrived . Baby stomach is tiny the first couple of days they need so little so don't worry too much about it. It will come in good time. Your baby is the best pump they are made to get the colostrum out the best. Also midwives are better to get it out than you so if you can get help when baby is here that's good.

I had every curve ball thrown at me trying to breastfeed and I managed it but my mental health suffered so try not to put too much pressure on yourself and best of luck
 
We have a 4 year age gap. Ideally I did want it smaller but it was a long, long road getting pregnant and having baby number 2. It’s quite an adorable age gap, my first born is obsessed with his little sister and tries to help as much as possible. But they need me in different ways, he’s so inquisitive and wants to play and asks so many questions and she needs me for everything because sheds literally a newborn baby. I’m finding it tough giving them equal amounts of attention and feel like I’ve put my 4 year old on the back burner a bit but on days like today when the baby isn’t too demanding I’ve spent a fair bit of time with my eldest and it’s been nice. When it’s a bad day with baby it is really rough 😭 But overall a good age gap!
 
opintionatedperson said:
Hi, I was induced at 37w 3d so I never got the go ahead to harvest colostrum as I was waiting until that appointment to ask and they ended up inducing me. Anyways I didn't have anything but managed to hand express once baby arrived . Baby stomach is tiny the first couple of days they need so little so don't worry too much about it. It will come in good time. Your baby is the best pump they are made to get the colostrum out the best. Also midwives are better to get it out than you so if you can get help when baby is here that's good.

I had every curve ball thrown at me trying to breastfeed and I managed it but my mental health suffered so try not to put too much pressure on yourself and best of luck
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Thank you for such a kind reply x
 
opintionatedperson said:
Hi, I was induced at 37w 3d so I never got the go ahead to harvest colostrum as I was waiting until that appointment to ask and they ended up inducing me. Anyways I didn't have anything but managed to hand express once baby arrived . Baby stomach is tiny the first couple of days they need so little so don't worry too much about it. It will come in good time. Your baby is the best pump they are made to get the colostrum out the best. Also midwives are better to get it out than you so if you can get help when baby is here that's good.

I had every curve ball thrown at me trying to breastfeed and I managed it but my mental health suffered so try not to put too much pressure on yourself and best of luck
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Can i second the mental side of this, i did my very very best for 3 weeks and unfortunately it just wasnt for us, it is an extremely vulnerable time for you both so please remember to look after yourself, best of luck the next few weeks xx
 
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