Liz Jones #4 Why am I so miserable and can't get a shag? Is it because I smell and am a drunken old hag?

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This week's old rope. Too dull to warrant any sort of jibe, tbh...
 

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Why is she looking at 700k houses, she couldn't afford poo cottage at less than half that, there's just no way she's getting a mortgage for pretty much anything, because like it or not, she is getting older, at 64 most people have paid off their mortgages.

Why does she keep bringing David into the column, although he is a real person, her alleged contact with him is as fake as conversations with the totally fake rock star, and she wants to drown him in a hot tub, wtaf? As for her description of the house she viewed, if that is real, those people will know exactly who they are from the column, as will their neighbours, friends etc, how utterly despicable to denigrate total strangers in print, in such a way that they can be easily identified.

How many holidays can one person take, considering she hasn't had a holiday in 25 years. Why does she keep writing that? I have no idea what she was moaning on about with the friend she was taking, as it was garbled nonsense, at least I don't think this person is real, and why would you go spending all that money on holidays when you haven't got a car? Use the money to buy a cheap car ffs, she is such a moron.
 
Wikipedia says that the Beano still has its London office in Fleet Street. Maybe she works for the Beano.

It is odd that she gets so shrieky if people assume she's retired. I know of a few people who retired before official retirement age. Either they had older well-pensioned husbands or some other source of income - perhaps a work pension that kicked in at 60.
 
"I'm very high end."
"Yes, thank you. I'm a top journalist."
"But what if you were naked in the hot tub, having sex?"

Some very strange (even for her) and unlikely supposed quotes there. I get that she fabricates conversations but there's usually a sense that they're just about based on reality. But these. Especially the hot tub one. Gads.

She has been getting smutty lately - only a week ago, she pretended that David said "You never touch yourself in bed," which was revolting enough, but the hot tub question sounds like she's been reading 1970s porn mags. Very odd.
 
ThePelican said:
"I'm very high end."
"Yes, thank you. I'm a top journalist."
"But what if you were naked in the hot tub, having sex?"

Some very strange (even for her) and unlikely supposed quotes there. I get that she fabricates conversations but there's usually a sense that they're just about based on reality. But these. Especially the hot tub one. Gads.

She has been getting smutty lately - only a week ago, she pretended that David said "You never touch yourself in bed," which was revolting enough, but the hot tub question sounds like she's been reading 1970s porn mags. Very odd.
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She's writing some new bilge promising "sex you never even thought of", so I suspect this is all part of her new 'red hot great granny' personality. Bearing in mind she's snagged approx 2½ men and doesn't take her vest off, I suspect this to be a lie of sorts.
The fact that she has duck-all³ to write about (having no life to speak of) I presume poking round other people's homes is easy copy.
Oh, a brainy chum worked out this is her seaside getaway, should anyone care to give them a tinkle and suggest they double the security deposit... https://www.bullinntotnes.co.uk/albatross-apartment
 
Yes, this
Mediastar said:
She's writing some new bilge promising "sex you never even thought of", so I suspect this is all part of her new 'red hot great granny' personality. Bearing in mind she's snagged approx 2½ men and doesn't take her vest off, I suspect this to be a lie of sorts.
The fact that she has duck-all³ to write about (having no life to speak of) I presume poking round other people's homes is easy copy.
Oh, a brainy chum worked out this is her seaside getaway, should anyone care to give them a tinkle and suggest they double the security deposit... https://www.bullinntotnes.co.uk/albatross-apartment
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Yes, this Devon-getaway business, which seems to be taking the place of the Sicilian holiday. That's odd too, the way her friend says that Devon is a long way to drive for just three days. Assuming the friend is in the UK, it won't be more than six or so hours, tops. Three days sounds like a decent little break (in the long tradition of Lizzo's mini-breaks), so what's the problem?

And (I'm warming to the subject now) why does she want to drown David? The man's justifiably upset that she strung him along. Her reactions to everyday situations are more and more extreme. What in tarnation is going on with her?
 
ThePelican said:
Yes, this

Yes, this Devon-getaway business, which seems to be taking the place of the Sicilian holiday. That's odd too, the way her friend says that Devon is a long way to drive for just three days. Assuming the friend is in the UK, it won't be more than six or so hours, tops. Three days sounds like a decent little break (in the long tradition of Lizzo's mini-breaks), so what's the problem?

And (I'm warming to the subject now) why does she want to drown David? The man's justifiably upset that she strung him along. Her reactions to everyday situations are more and more extreme. What in tarnation is going on with her?
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I think she's trolling Dscrace and getting no response... and no-one puts Granny in the corner!
 
That's the other thing with the alleged David conversation, she claims that he said that he'd made bone broth for one of the dogs who hasn't been well. How the heck was that going to work? He's in London, she'sin yorkshire and doesn't have a car, how on earth were they going to transport said bone broth between locations, it's not exactly something you can send in the post.
 
shushablay said:
That's the other thing with the alleged David conversation, she claims that he said that he'd made bone broth for one of the dogs who hasn't been well. How the heck was that going to work? He's in London, she'sin yorkshire and doesn't have a car, how on earth were they going to transport said bone broth between locations, it's not exactly something you can send in the post.
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I've been giving this way too much thought. Does it turn to jelly when it cools down? Could it be sent in a jiffy bag? Also, I have the impression she would not eat anything prepared in his kitchen so it's unlikely she would sully her puppies' tummies with stuff he's made. Also DAVID WHY THE duck WOULD YOU DO THIS?
 
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