Liz Jones #4 Why am I so miserable and can't get a shag? Is it because I smell and am a drunken old hag?

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
1
wtf is she going on about, no point in putting things in a rental? The woman who allegedly spent £40k or £60k renovating her current rental, only to be shocked that the place could still be sold, then demanding that the owner/new buyer would have to reimburse her. Fair enough if you bought a new fridge freezer or whatever and wanted to take it with you, but if the place came with a fridge freezer in the first place, you would need to either store the original or replace it when you leave. The woman doesn't seem to have a clue about the real world.

And we've seemingly gone back in time to white ferrari guy, thought she had ditched that story line ages ago, and no mention of David 1.0 or any type of holiday, which if that were true, she could probably afford a wee runaround with what she would have spent on that, but no, jug ears needs a land rover defender..why??
 
MacPishFlaps said:
https://www.12ft.io/https://www.dai...are-Kate-Middleton-Princess-Diana-sexist.html

Sigh. Why do the DM continue to employ this woman
Click to expand...

It's remarkable how, even though she despises most other women, she still hoists her feminist flag with statements like this:

"It’s as though women have no ideas of their own, that we must always copy. That we live in the past. We need our hands held."

She always writes about women as if we collectively share one brain and have all had the same experiences. She thinks that by writing nonsense like "We need our hands held" she's going into battle for us. She's only bothering because she can blame men for it all, and if there's one group of people she hates more than women, it's men.
 
If she wasn't living under a rock she'd know that people value sustainability more and that getting clothes from Depop, Vinted and charity shops is not only trending but can also be much more affordable than buying low quality fast fashion from Zara and H&M. Everyone should keep gatekeeping Urban Outfitters from her though.
 
I do wonder where her sense of entitlement comes from. Just because at one point in your life you've had a "top" job and a big house in London, it doesn't entitle you for the rest of your life to the same standard of living. Ironically, if she had not spent so madly when she was at the height of her career, she might now have some of the things she feels entitled to.
 
Belgian Bun said:
I do wonder where her sense of entitlement comes from. Just because at one point in your life you've had a "top" job and a big house in London, it doesn't entitle you for the rest of your life to the same standard of living. Ironically, if she had not spent so madly when she was at the height of her career, she might now have some of the things she feels entitled to.
Click to expand...

Like a pension...
It makes my brain itch thinking about her rampant materialism and vanity (if indeed it's all true - do we know how much she makes up for pity/attention vs actual reality?)
How stupid and vain do you have to spend so much money on so much nonsense for so many years without considering how to get a secure roof over your head and money set aside for old age.
 
MavisBeacon said:
Like a pension...
It makes my brain itch thinking about her rampant materialism and vanity (if indeed it's all true - do we know how much she makes up for pity/attention vs actual reality?)
How stupid and vain do you have to spend so much money on so much nonsense for so many years without considering how to get a secure roof over your head and money set aside for old age.
Click to expand...
There's no doubt she was bankrupted. I seriously doubt she has no pension pot and there are some questions about whether she declared a large parcel of land in Somerset to HMRC. As for all the Covid guff, she was simply no reason she wouldn't have claimed everything available apart from her own laziness.
The last house she sold was said to have quite an aroma and an aura of neglect. She hadn't bothered to paint a replastered wall or try and make the place remotely presentable... evidently, three of the bedrooms weren't suitable to be photographed either. She is a living allegory for hubris.
 
MavisBeacon said:
Two union flag rugs????
Click to expand...
One is naff enough at her big age, but two?
and THAT’s the kitchen she banged on about?
I will say though, as homely as the new owners have it, their furniture is a bit too big for such a simple Georgian house, especially in the drawing room. They had very little furniture, with bigger furniture- and lots of it- being a Victorian aesthetic.
 
oh god those dreadful pink conran sofas, I remember her trying to sell them for £400 each, never mind that they had been chewed and no doubt peed on, just because you paid a ridiculous amount of money for them, doesn't mean that several years, and much abuse later, that they're going to be worth anything, a case of it doesn't matter the designer name, I wouldn't have them in my house if you paid me, probably stinking of urine, covered in dog hair and possibly infested with fleas..yuk.

Nic's cottage looked in far better condition.
 
Ciega, sordomuda or: The Podcast.

Liz bemoans Madonna who was taken into hospital with a serious infection. Complaining it is "sexist" and "ageist" that an alleged member of Madonna's family told the press she has not been taking care of her health and ignores the fact she's getting older. You could say the same thing about Ozzy Osbourne for instance, is that sexist? "The papers don't talk about Mick Jagger that way! I'm her age and I feel 12! She probably caught it from a dirty maaaan!"

Liz and Nic talk about Pride and "joke" about others thinking they're gay, including the vet because Nic wore an "I Have Two Mummies" t-shirt in honour of Hilda the dog. Liz complains about "naked men" at Pride and Nic drools. You realise these men are gay?! Liz thinks she's a "gay icon" because she writes about fashion. Nic is reading Becoming Us by Jake and Hannah Graf, a memoir by a couple who are both transgender. Liz doesn't quite understand what a trans person is and Nic tries to patiently explain. She drools over Jake, thankfully Hannah won't listen to this because, well, no one does except a handful of loyal Lizard fans. Liz says being gay is irrelevant to her as long as you meet her standards for animal welfare. Spoken like someone who has never experienced discrimination because of her sexuality.

Nic talks for a bit about the book and the authors' experience of being trans. Liz doesn't cut in too much but is clearly bored when we are not about her. Nic does not want to be called "cis" and says she's just a woman. Liz cries "I'M JUST A HUSK!" and says when she had medical tests for an upcoming farticle, they showed that her ovaries had "shut up shop." Yes, that's normal at 64 and you can be in good health after menopause; it doesn't make you "a husk." She feels like "an unused Le Creuset saucepan!" They move on to Caitlin Moran's new book What About Men? which is a shallow pretext for Liz to witch and moan about mothers and happy women. She reads out some extracts about genitalia that are absolutely excruciating coming from her in her nasal whine.

Nic reminisces about the car she had as a teenager and talks about her current car breaking down. She plays Bobby Brown who Liz of course has interviewed and has to one up Nic - "I actually met him!" Column: "In which I view a not so des res." WTF? She viewed a house that an old couple are selling, and does an unearthly scream at ear-shattering pitch as she describes them asking her if she were employed. Don't you know who she is? She had Botox and was wearing a Prada jacket!!!!11 GOD THEY'RE SO RUDE. She complains about the decor at length, and says "people are in love with their ghastly houses to the point of delusion." Too bad Poo Cottage doesn't seem to have any mirrors in it.

She viewed another house that has a hot tub, but she doesn't want to buy, because the neighbour has right of access so you can't have sex in the tub. She makes a "joke" about drowning David in the hot tub and will no doubt be baffled next week that he doesn't want to go out with her. He supposedly texted her but she didn't care until he said he'd send her "bone broth" for Mini Puppy, who is ill. Liz is planning an all-natural, vegan, organic break with a friend - as well as Sicily - because she is sooooo high end. Then describes another trip away with this friend where Liz didn't like the hotel. But remember she hasn't had a holiday for the last 25 years.

The FRS gave condolences for Gracie but casually dropped in a mention of his girlfriend. "JELLYFISH! JELLYFISH! JELLYFISH!" shrieks Liz. You're doing it to yourself, love, cuz he doesn't exist. Her "moans" this week include wasps, and people who ask for "a water" instead of just water. Archive piece is the one where she equated herself with Rose Ayling-Ellis cuz they're DEAF. She says, accurately, that being Deaf does not always mean you have no hearing at all. However the fact that Liz is here now recording this podcast proves that she is not in the same position as Rose. It's all me me me as always: she "limps through life", no one ever helped her, mum had seven kids, she can't have a disabled parking badge cuz deafness doesn't affect your mobility etc. etc. etc.

Fan mail: Charlotte is estranged from her family and commiserates with Liz over Evil Sue. Alex claims to have listened to the plodcast every single day since it came out - "get a life!" sneers Liz. She said it not me. She assures Alex's grandma that she and Nic aren't gay. Liz ends on a tease for a "huuuuge!" farticle in Monday's Mail - "you will be shocked!" Not for the reasons you think, Juggo.
 
No point being the richest person in the cemetery. A person's worth is not based on how expensive their car, house, wardrobe etc is. The bint has a superiority complex. She thinks people are jealous of her and so do not like her. But the reason she isn't liked is simple. She has an over inflated sense of self importance, is hideously vain, snide, bitter and seems to have absolutely no redeeming features. She could dress head to toe in Chanel, dripping in expensive gold and still look like a knackered old hag with big ears. Her make up and choice of hair colour do absolutely nothing for her and actually make her look even more witchy and old.
 
I would be astonished if 10% of over 30's have the faintest idea who she is. She has achieved *nothing* in her life. Has no (real) friends, has no family, has no money, views people's houses just to slag them off, mistreats her animals, is despised by her peers and has a 'paid companion'. What a waste of a life.
 
Mediastar said:
This makes quite amusing viewing (though the pics are bleached out) this was Juggo's vision of 'high end living' before she was bankrupted: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/53214913#/?channel=RES_BUY


And this is it now... https://www.facebook.com/yorkshiredalesNP
Click to expand...
Pity she didn't paint the fecking walls. She's got patched up, unpainted walls in the current rented place too. What with that and dogs pissing everywhere (14 years in Gracie's case) you can see why no one ever wants to buy her houses 🤮
 
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
Back
Top