Jack Monroe #599 Asda value chickens coming home to roost

[Valiofthedolls]

Jack as Fish (threads 468 and beyond!):

Jack Monroe #468 Remove my photo! Warned!

I'm currently dealing with a work colleague who is doing a Jack. She has the most Wortest problem ever and everyone solution is met with a done that, know that. So annoying I've of course now enabled her crappy behaviour by softly, gently! running away. Wonder how the house move is going.

tattle.life

Jack as Desserts:

Jack Monroe #438 She's a thief and her food is like slop. Delete this.

I’ve just found a pearler of a resource for anyone in the mood for a new avi BTW. https://www.shutterstock.com/editorial/search/jack-monroe I’m bleeping DYING at this one. I think she might be squeezing out a log in her dirty jeans. This really wasn’t a good day for her and the pov jumper. I...

tattle.life

Spoiler: Featu,

Jack as Muppets

Jack Monroe #537 Moana Fleecer

One of the best things I've ever seen, ngl. FORTY FIVE SECONDS of mouth breathing 😂😂😂 I (forensically) timed it. By the end I was wheezing so hard I couldn't watch the rest. One Aunty Pat to rule them all, One Aunty Pat to find them, One Aunty Pat to bring them all, and in the darkness...

tattle.life

---
OMG @Terrible

 

[Clovis]

Lmao I'm laughing at that cake with the pringles™ lips so much the dog thinks I'm having a conniption.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I go for a hour's nap and the thread has taken a phallic turn .

Speaking of,

Spoiler: If anyone fancies a new avi

Also, there’s something of a theme with this pic. Jack as fish, courtesy of @Emmapism

Spoiler

 

[Cat Face]

But perjickwt needs to be a word.

Yes!
But how would it be pronounced? "perjickwt"? Or would it be more like "perjickwt"?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Yes!
But how would it be pronounced? "perjickwt"? Or would it be more like "perjickwt"?

Neither. It would be pronounced more like “mither”.

 

[Cat Face]

Neither. It would be pronounced more like “mither”.

The mouthful of toast that I was chewing just got snorted up the back of my nose.

 

[Savethesauce]

I've promised everyone pasta sauce and macaroni for tea with figgy pudding for afters, we're all starving still waiting. Maybe I'll have to get the leftover chippy chips out of the freezer. Or if we stay up long enough we can have a bowl of granola

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

The mouthful of toast that I was chewing just got snorted up the back of my nose.

That's exactly how it should be pronounced.

 

[hereforthechaos]

I've promised everyone pasta sauce and macaroni for tea with figgy pudding for afters, we're all starving still waiting. Maybe I'll have to get the leftover chippy chips out of the freezer. Or if we stay up long enough we can have a bowl of granola

I'm still waiting for the eels

 

[Fruitjack]

None of you are getting anything until I get my secret bleeping ingredient.

I'm still waiting for the eels

 

[Lazarus]

I've promised everyone pasta sauce and macaroni for tea with figgy pudding for afters, we're all starving still waiting. Maybe I'll have to get the leftover chippy chips out of the freezer. Or if we stay up long enough we can have a bowl of granola

Lest we forget the breakfast broccoli pasta.

 

[BeardyBap]

Speaking of pasta I would quite like the results of the “soaking various pasta shapes in cold water” tests.

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

Speaking of pasta I would quite like the results of the “soaking various pasta shapes in cold water” tests.

It will be like eating glue, tenderbap. Hope that helps!

 

[rage naan]

aah jack as fungi. I'm going to repost this one because I have to

 

[BlendedSlop]

I've promised everyone pasta sauce and macaroni for tea with figgy pudding for afters, we're all starving still waiting. Maybe I'll have to get the leftover chippy chips out of the freezer. Or if we stay up long enough we can have a bowl of granola

I'm still waiting for her to put that oversaturated tree print up for sale on her site.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I am still waiting for her to be of some bleeping use.....

 

[HootieMcBoob]

Yes!
But how would it be pronounced? "perjickwt"? Or would it be more like "perjickwt"?

If perjickwt is going to be incorporated into canal parlance, can I please suggest it might mean “the feeling when someone you know in real life has a neckbeardy social media interaction with guest” because that happened to me for the first time this week on BS and…ick.

Eg: I had another perjickwt this week, so disappointed in my cousin or I can’t believe I’ve been perjickwted for the third time this year

 

[TheOffice]

View attachment 3324339 q
Was just mithering to myself about his idiot daughter phoning Big Toblertwat up in the middle of the night to ask about the decomp rate of all the now-DEAD corrupt 1980s American jurors he saw paragliding and jet skiing off the coast of Paphos last year, when I remembered that the first chapter of Jack’s MeMeMeMoir is already written for her.

This from @Sweetcouchpotato is one of the best things on Tattle, ever.

Spoiler

View attachment 3324371 qView attachment 3324354 qView attachment 3324355 qView attachment 3324356 qView attachment 3324372 q
Link to original!

Jack Monroe #489 Come Sun Or Haze, You've Got CCJs

Yeah that’s added post-photo. There’s no way she applied that “Glam Mam at a Pippa Dee party circa 1983” lewk herself. Her efforts at eye makeup usually resemble my efforts to “style” my Girl’s World Styling Head from the 1970s. If 7 year old me had been wearing oven gloves and had my eyes shut...

tattle.life

(Illustrated by the photographer who also did the Guardian moneybath photoshoot and who clearly bleeping loathes her).

@Sweetcouchpotato, this is the gold, frankincense and myrrh of Tattlemas. I and my donkey bow down before you.

 

[drusy]

"Fresh young face"...

Thank you, anonymous squig, for making me heartily on this grey December day...

View attachment 3324006 q

They do need to get themself to Specsavers, tho

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I just realised. Doesnt she look like musk. They have the same cold souless eyes. Weird!