Jack Monroe #559 Untitled Jack Monroe Memoir

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@rage naan I’m loving seeing the old tweets, god a few years ago it was that kind of tit every bloody day.

I think she tried to say the Protein World Bikini Shot showed her “distended ribs” (no, you can’t just “have“ distended ribs it’s a rare serious medical condition that she doesn’t have. Rather like the extreme throat gland condition she decided she had that can only be diagnosed by extensive testing. She had a sore throat. Stop elevenerifing disease, Jack!)

The 5k scam. It’s always a 5 with the missing cash! That was just a stupid grift/attention seeking tweet session that got picked up by the papers on a slow news day. Bet LJC was scarlet when she realised it was all bollox.
 
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nothanksbabes said:
So "beach body ready" she's massively edited her broad waist to make herself an hour glass which she very, very much is not.

I'm sure someone can pop along with photos of her in those poofy a-line skirts that should, theoretically, make someone's waist look smaller and yet...
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She is a cube shape, like a Roblox figure and there is nothing wrong with that. She could advocate for the normality of different female shapes instead of buying into and supporting the paternalistic ideals of how a woman should look. He trout pout lips are also guilty of this. Ever the feminist 🙄
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Is it ever made of anything that doesn’t start with B? The Big Boring Billy Bullshitter. View attachment 2665721 qView attachment 2665725 qThe level of self-delusion about any and everything to do with herself is bleeping mind blowing. Enabled and given narc-fuel by a load of sycophantic twats for over a decade. Dire.
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Jack is the thinnest fat person, cleverest stupid person, prettiest ugly person, baldest thick haired person, shyest most confident person, busiest lazy person, butchest feminine person, poorest wealthy person, ever to have lived.

I am sure you could all think of other, more appropriate adjectives.
 
MancBee said:
Jack is the thinnest fat person, cleverest stupid person, prettiest ugly person, baldest thick haired person, shyest most confident person, busiest lazy person, butchest feminine person, poorest wealthy person, ever to have lived.
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this reminded me of many years ago when out walking Old Pooch Laz, god rest his gentle soul, I walked by a wee girl with her dad. She petted the dog and said to her dad: ‘that dog is big AND wee, long AND short and kinda thick AND thin isn’t he?’ And he totally was (basset hound 🍉🍉🍉) 😂😂
 
HotesTilaire said:
@rage naan I’m loving seeing the old tweets, god a few years ago it was that kind of tit every bloody day.

I think she tried to say the Protein World Bikini Shot showed her “distended ribs” (no, you can’t just “have“ distended ribs it’s a rare serious medical condition that she doesn’t have. Rather like the extreme throat gland condition she decided she had that can only be diagnosed by extensive testing. She had a sore throat. Stop elevenerifing disease, Jack!)

The 5k scam. It’s always a 5 with the missing cash! That was just a stupid grift/attention seeking tweet session that got picked up by the papers on a slow news day. Bet LJC was scarlet when she realised it was all bollox.
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I was just thinking about the £5k, she says it was six months' earnings - so she's trying to say that she earned just £10k a year, but also never had to spend any money so could save that whole six months earnings (even though rent and bills were 900% of her earnings and NOT covered by patreon)

Hmmmm

I guess Mr Tax Man must have been convinced that she earned under the threshold when he read that!

Also lol at her saying she's three days from book deadline and still testing recipes. Her publishers must have been having conniptions
 
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fishyfishfish said:
Thinking about our frau that saw Jack walking down the high street and wanted to ask you ninnies: what would you say if you bumped into her IRL? I'm not an ebil troll so would simply ask "Jack, when is the VBI being released"? :)
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Have you moved yet, or what?

ETA in truth, think I would check she didn’t have a Cath Kidston bag about her person, then wait til right as she was passing me and then bellow at the top of my voice WHITE TRASH SHOULDN’T BREED!
 
HotesTilaire said:
I think she tried to say the Protein World Bikini Shot showed her “distended ribs” (no, you can’t just “have“ distended ribs it’s a rare serious medical condition that she doesn’t have. Rather like the extreme throat gland condition she decided she had that can only be diagnosed by extensive testing. She had a sore throat. Stop elevenerifing disease, Jack!)

The 5k scam. It’s always a 5 with the missing cash! That was just a stupid grift/attention seeking tweet session that got picked up by the papers on a slow news day. Bet LJC was scarlet when she realised it was all bollox.
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Was thinking the other day about her 2015 “hives caused by dogs” too. They never made a recurrence did they?
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Lol when I was looking for the hives caused by dogs, this is in the same post! Maybe she “distended her ribs” when she broke them in 2016, the bleeping Munchie fantasist.
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ss @PoorPatrol

ETA ailments list! Or at least a selection thereof!

Jack Monroe #480 Jack Monroe: McPoverty and a side of lies

Also, how fast were they planning to get married? Jack only announced it on Jan 20th Then 4 days later LJC is the “soon to be Mrs Jack” Could Big D finally see the day he and Big E would be able to permanently FOIST Jack so was planning on doing his own version of a shotgun wedding? I can just...
tattle.life
 
Lazarus said:
Once again, you’ve hit the nail on the head.

these fuckers have earned a good living out of the Tories. Their whole shtick is ‘Tories out’. How will they make a living and have a platform when the Tories are eventually ejected and they realise everything’s still the same under a Labour government?
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We were mithering over that in the Tanskiii thread. Basically, nobody will ever be ideologically pure enough for them. So whoever gets in will be ‘tories light’ or ‘worse than the tories’ somehow. The twatty twitter crew absolutely HATE left wing people who get off their arses and actually do something, and it’s never enough for them. They’ll probably witch and moan even more than when the tories were in power.
 
rage naan said:
this, esp. as she's a ✨cover girl ✨

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Yeuccchhh. Must be exhausting for Jack, having to lug that bloated ego around. No wonder her bones are crumbling into Aunty Helen-esque dust.

But seriously she really is the world's worst photoshopper. She photoshops like she cooks: sloppy and lazy. The worst period was when she was photoshopping razor sharp cheekbones so she could pretend she was pining away when LJC LEFT. She did it so badly she was giving Lady Gaga 2012 vibes like

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rage naan said:
From 2018! So much whining
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So hang on…is it £20,000 of her royalties, £30,000-£50,000 of her royalties, or is it £55,000 of her royalties, and is it for her first book or her first two books? And is it for the “last three/three and a half years” to 2018, or did they never pay her for her first book?
2018
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2020
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get your scamming story straight you bleeping thieving charlatan.
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ss @colouredlines
 
Lazarus said:
Funny enough, I was thinking of this today. Remember those wetwipe, boring fuckers used to tag her and others in their ‘ideal cabinet’ 🥴🥴
I’m glad that trend died out quickly.
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Imagine guest in cabinet, my bleeping lord. 🙄

"Can't come in to commons to vote today on that mandatory thingy, ouchy shoulder. In nest bed, can you tell PM? I promise I'll do my vote later this week sometime."

"Constituent's casework? Completed it, mate."

"SHAN'T be voting on that, Chief Whip."

"Had a moment with Mr Speaker today. He called me to speak and now we're practically married."
 
fishyfishfish said:
Thinking about our frau that saw Jack walking down the high street and wanted to ask you ninnies: what would you say if you bumped into her IRL? I'm not an ebil troll so would simply ask "Jack, when is the VBI being released"? :)
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As a massive Pratchett fan and a data nerd, I would be very enthusiastic about the VBI and ask her detailed questions about the data sources, methodology and delivery/dissemination.
 
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