Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

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MurielSnark said:
Even though we're all cross at The Guardian, they do publish some gems. Like this interview with Alan Partridge:

https://www.12ft.io/https://www.the...s-and-sunday-roasts-im-already-about-70-vegan

Some of his answers to the Q&A sound very reminiscent of you-know-who.

I’m a vegan. What would it take to convince you to become vegan, too?
I’m already about 70% vegan and have to say I don’t find it that hard. My last Sunday roast? Potatoes, carrots, parsnips, broccoli, cauliflower and beef. So, almost entirely vegan. Same with Nando’s. You’ve got your chips, your macho peas, your corn on the cob – show me a single thing on that plate that’s come from an animal. You can’t. Have another look. You still can’t. In most places, with only a minimum of effort, large portions of your meal can and will be vegan. So, be good to yourself, be good to the planet and go largely vegan today.

What song should be played at your funeral and who should sing?
There’s a homeless busker who performs at St Stephen’s underpass in Norwich. Some say he lives with his mum and pretends to be without a home to monetise the public’s pity for the downtrodden. I’m not sure; he looks homeless enough to me. But his act! A voice like thick honey, Kenneth-Williams-style diction and a set list comprising your Snow Patrols, Stereophonics and a slightly-too-high Goo Goo Doll encore. He’s the best singer I’ve ever heard (so far). And because I’m getting cremated and they position the singer near the furnace doors, he’d get to enjoy the warmth while singing. Even in death I’ll be giving a bit back to the needy. (Song: Pipes of Peace.)
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I skim read that missing out the top and genuinely thought it was the words of guest 😂
 
My auntie....
She's sharp as a tack, never at home, always out somewhere with her walking group or at the theatre, reads every word of several newspapers every weekend but good lord sometimes she just... Comes out with stuff like...

A neighbour having a large erection in his garden (which turned out to be a new shed)

A giant hairy pussy in her garden (a Persian cat)

A very large cock out the back (a pheasant)

Problems with her bush needing a trim.

Makes a lament of "what a stiffy" when getting out of a chair.

My sister and I sit trying not to look at each other, giggling like 12 year olds
 
DinosaurSenior said:
My auntie....
She's sharp as a tack, never at home, always out somewhere with her walking group or at the theatre, reads every word of several newspapers every weekend but good lord sometimes she just... Comes out with stuff like...

A neighbour having a large erection in his garden (which turned out to be a new shed)

A giant hairy pussy in her garden (a Persian cat)

A very large cock out the back (a pheasant)

Problems with her bush needing a trim.

Makes a lament of "what a stiffy" when getting out of a chair.

My sister and I sit trying not to look at each other, giggling like 12 year olds
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She sounds like a riot! Treasure while you have her.... am sure you don't need telling but....
 
DinosaurSenior said:
My auntie....
She's sharp as a tack, never at home, always out somewhere with her walking group or at the theatre, reads every word of several newspapers every weekend but good lord sometimes she just... Comes out with stuff like...

A neighbour having a large erection in his garden (which turned out to be a new shed)

A giant hairy pussy in her garden (a Persian cat)

A very large cock out the back (a pheasant)

Problems with her bush needing a trim.

Makes a lament of "what a stiffy" when getting out of a chair.

My sister and I sit trying not to look at each other, giggling like 12 year olds
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I’m convinced that she knows and enjoys making you laugh.
 
Brian Butterfield said:
Good times. Crazy days.

Didn't her bio say something like "My other account's a Ferrari" or some such guff.

I'm sure someone must have screenshot the Peeky Mink bio at the time.

ETA

Found lovely @Veronicaaa's original post. I was close but no cigar - "You should see my other accounts, it's a Porsche".

Jack Monroe #74 The 19th most important gay in 2014

Traumatised foster children aren’t difficult, using that word suggests they have a choice in their behaviour? They’re suffering and need help. In the same way a baby can’t be good or bad, they aren’t either they just need help to regulate their moods. This sort of moral judgment on children...
tattle.life

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I just read through the peeky mink saga for the first time and can’t stop laughing at her trying to be all mysterious with the “I’m probably not who you think I am” and dropping hints on her main account 😂 What on earth was she trying to achieve? amazing bit of triangulation, I love it when I find out a new piece of Jack history. What a twit!
 
As a newer Frau (I was here a wee while ago before the tattle lock down under a different name 🍕but that was probably 2021) it’s great going back over some classics “Jacssics”(?) for laughs (I have been laughing out loud on multiple occasions) but when you remember things like the £68k which absolutely was not spent on books and just spanked on snow sideboards and slop they really are just so ridiculous and immoral they aren’t even funny.

I can’t believe there have been no real consequences for her.

As my granny would have said, her day will come.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Jesus wept. Every time I try to find something I encounter more horror.
View attachment 2588187 qView attachment 2588188 qView attachment 2588189 q
web.archive.org

STARS

I sat outside last night, gazing at stars. Stars, here, for me, are like the chickens; I know they exist and I’ve seen them before, but suddenly they are all around me, as much a part of the …
web.archive.org web.archive.org
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“Stars, here, for me, are like the chickens” would be an epically meaningless (and somewhat batshit crazy) thread title nomination. TYFATYD Jack 🙏
 
MurielSnark said:
Ahhhh, shall we form a club @YerDa ? Like a "comments club" but for people with sticky blood? We can block Jack and any other clot wannabes.

It makes me mad that she makes me mad like this.

(Hope you're okay and managing with your drugs? I'm still resentful that I have to take them daily but then I remember that I might be pushing up daisies otherwise.)
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“Sticky Blood Club” sounds pretty neat actually! I feel much the same, minor-ish side effects are ok compared to being on the other side of the horizontal wooden door, definitely.
 
Read over the Peeky Mink thread (snaps, @Veronicaaa ) and it’s so great to be reminded of how far she’s fallen. She was such a manipulative nightmare: deactivating her account to make her flying monkeys worried; merrily tweeting away on her unsubtle sock talking about her Ocado orders; doing a performative £20 Asda value shop within minutes of reactivating her named account to elicit further sympathy and cashos. I’m pretty confident that if she tried the same tactics now there’d be a hell of a lot more backlash.

Really do wonder who is the unlucky person(s) she’s latched onto in her obscurity, though, to replace that attention. Any goss from Southend frauen with wind of this welcome. (Also please warn them lol).
 
SouthendRealEstate said:
“Stars, here, for me, are like the chickens” would be an epically meaningless (and somewhat batshit crazy) thread title nomination. TYFATYD Jack 🙏
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It's just such a bizarre post.

Stars are like chickens. They come out at night.

Like the terracotta dust ingrained in my feet, which I evidently don't wash, or wear shoes on.

There's only so much this little piece of technology can do. So I recalled that epic poem by Victor Hugo. Stars. In their multitudes. There to be counted.

But you can't count them in England, the city that neve sleeps. The curious incident of the orange glow in the night time. Is it aliens? The truth is out there.

"I'm such a profound little pixie! Hoooooooooooooonk!" - Jack Monroe.

Hakuna ma tata.
 

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MurielSnark said:
Ahhhh, shall we form a club @YerDa ? Like a "comments club" but for people with sticky blood? We can block Jack and any other clot wannabes.

It makes me mad that she makes me mad like this.

(Hope you're okay and managing with your drugs? I'm still resentful that I have to take them daily but then I remember that I might be pushing up daisies otherwise.)
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Can I join the sticky blood club too pretty please? I am still suffering the after effects of rubbish pulmonary embolisms (am obvs nowhere near as disabled as Jack though). I wasn’t allowed warfarin and got given apixaban though. I have an excuse to buy pre chopped carrots (though I’m a lazy article who bought them before the doctor BAN in using sharp knives)

I also REALLY need to re read perky mink because I didn’t realise or appreciate how iconic it was at the time 😁
 
AlwightDallin said:
Can I join the sticky blood club too pretty please? I am still suffering the after effects of rubbish pulmonary embolisms (am obvs nowhere near as disabled as Jack though). I wasn’t allowed warfarin and got given apixaban though. I have an excuse to buy pre chopped carrots (though I’m a lazy article who bought them before the doctor BAN in using sharp knives)

I also REALLY need to re read perky mink because I didn’t realise or appreciate how iconic it was at the time 😁
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Of course, you're welcome in the Sticky Blood Club @AlwightDallin!

It's only my own experience but Apixaban is much easier to manage than Warfarin. Warfarin was the older drug and it's very fiddly to take and you have to keep monitoring the markers in your blood. I've circled through that and Riveroxiban and now Apixaban and the latter suits me better.

As for after-effects, though, yeah, it's rubbish, isn't it?

There's quite a good community page on Facebook run by Thrombosis UK if you haven't already seen it, @AlwightDallin & @YerDa. They also post occasional videos on YouTube which can be pretty informative.

Jack is a lying, thieving hypochondriac. If she had half the conditions she claims to, she'd be chronically and debilitatingly fucked.
 
MurielSnark said:
Of course, you're welcome in the Sticky Blood Club @AlwightDallin!

It's only my own experience but Apixaban is much easier to manage than Warfarin. Warfarin was the older drug and it's very fiddly to take and you have to keep monitoring the markers in your blood. I've circled through that and Riveroxiban and now Apixaban and the latter suits me better.

As for after-effects, though, yeah, it's rubbish, isn't it?

There's quite a good community page on Facebook run by Thrombosis UK if you haven't already seen it, @AlwightDallin & @YerDa. They also post occasional videos on YouTube which can be pretty informative.

Jack is a lying, thieving hypochondriac. If she had half the conditions she claims to, she'd be chronically and debilitatingly fucked.
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Apixaban is way easier than Warfarin to manage but has a rare potential for autoimmune reaction which shuts down your kidneys so if you ever feel unusually run down for more than a week or two, hie thyselves direct to thine physician, delay not!
 
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