Brian Butterfield
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Edinburgh, Scotland
Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa
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Valiofthedolls
VIP Member
For the sake of levity
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Oodles of Doodles
Hello! I’ve been busily working on Bootstrap so the blog has been a bit quiet lately – but here’s something I have been desperate to share for a while! The Kickstarter edition of …
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CrackingOwlSanctuary
VIP Member
Exactly, before I ended up in my current career I wanted to make it as a novelist. I still had to go to work. I actually worked at a bookshop which was quite the mecca for creative types at the time, one of my coworkers back then had one of the most amazing singing voices I'd ever heard but unlike guest she still worked at the bookshop and gigged, not posted videos of herself murdering songs in hotel showers.
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Edinburgh, Scotland
Don't forget the secret code on her real Twitter and Facebook a few days earlier:
MurielSnark
VIP Member
She thinks she's sooooo clever. Arsewipe.
If I had the money I'd totally have an underground library. With better bookcases than that though.
Valiofthedolls
VIP Member
HANG ON!!!!! 
She raised that £68,761 between Dec 3 2015-Jan 18 2016 to self publish her book but then announces on Feb 12th 2016 she’s already got a contract in early FEBRUARY to publish the SAME bleeping BOOK?! Like, less than a month later!!!??? So she no longer needs to self publish within 3 1/2 WEEKS of her fundraiser closing!?
The book wasn’t even anywhere near finished at this point -she literally says she’s still writing it- so why on earth didn’t she refund everyone’s cash from the Kickstarter as soon as she got the contract rather than keeping it all??? Then sitting on it all for over two years and not actually sending the crappy substandard “self published” book out until April 2018, where she bothered to do so at all.
My mind is blown she got that contract so soon after the fundraiser!!! Not that she kept all the cash tho, cos she’s a THIEF AND CHARLATAN CONWOMAN. .
web.archive.org
She raised that £68,761 between Dec 3 2015-Jan 18 2016 to self publish her book but then announces on Feb 12th 2016 she’s already got a contract in early FEBRUARY to publish the SAME bleeping BOOK?! Like, less than a month later!!!??? So she no longer needs to self publish within 3 1/2 WEEKS of her fundraiser closing!?
The book wasn’t even anywhere near finished at this point -she literally says she’s still writing it- so why on earth didn’t she refund everyone’s cash from the Kickstarter as soon as she got the contract rather than keeping it all??? Then sitting on it all for over two years and not actually sending the crappy substandard “self published” book out until April 2018, where she bothered to do so at all.
My mind is blown she got that contract so soon after the fundraiser!!! Not that she kept all the cash tho, cos she’s a THIEF AND CHARLATAN CONWOMAN. .
If you didn’t get a Kickstarter copy of Cooking On A Bootstrap…
I am very very very proud to announce that Bluebird (part of Macmillan) will be republishing Cooking On A Bootstrap after Christmas, so if you didn’t grab a copy in the Kickstarter, you’…
web.archive.org
Soup or Noodle
Well-known member
Valiofthedolls
VIP Member
Speaking of Brexit, will the real conspiracy theorist Jack Monroe please stand up
I wonder if Big Chocco told her that, or if she thought it up all by her VERY CLEVER self in a “mad little kernel of her wild head”
House of Carbonara
VIP Member
Those are photoshop filters, not drawings, yes?For the sake of levity
View attachment 2588587 qView attachment 2588617 q
View attachment 2588589 qView attachment 2588590 qView attachment 2588591 qView attachment 2588604 qView attachment 2588592 qOodles of Doodles
Hello! I’ve been busily working on Bootstrap so the blog has been a bit quiet lately – but here’s something I have been desperate to share for a while! The Kickstarter edition of …
Has she ever, EVER, done anything without lying about it? Has she?
Emmapism
VIP Member
HANG ON!!!!!
View attachment 2588632 qView attachment 2588633 q
She raised that £68,761 between Dec 3 2015-Jan 18 2016 to self publish her book but then announces on Feb 12th 2016 she’s already got a contract in early FEBRUARY to publish the SAME bleeping BOOK?! Like, less than a month later!!!??? So she no longer needs to self publish within 3 1/2 WEEKS of her fundraiser closing!?
View attachment 2588634 q
The book wasn’t even anywhere near finished at this point -she literally says she’s still writing it- so why on earth didn’t she refund everyone’s cash from the Kickstarter as soon as she got the contract rather than keeping it all??? Then sitting on it all for over two years and not actually sending the crappy substandard “self published” book out until April 2018, where she bothered to do so at all.
My mind is blown she got that contract so soon after the fundraiser!!! Not that she kept all the cash tho, cos she’s a THIEF AND CHARLATAN CONWOMAN. .
If you didn’t get a Kickstarter copy of Cooking On A Bootstrap…
I am very very very proud to announce that Bluebird (part of Macmillan) will be republishing Cooking On A Bootstrap after Christmas, so if you didn’t grab a copy in the Kickstarter, you’…
Yep! This is the crux if it for a lot of us. I certainly didn't hang around for three years because her food was tit. Massive con artist
Limey
VIP Member
omg I'd forgotten this gem.
See also not understanding the meaning of the word 'psephology'.
Hollaaa
VIP Member
I still can't understand how it fits with any publishers contract for the author to self-publish a shittier version of the same book at the same-ish time the official version is out.
How do you even come up with such a balls-out mental plan, and where do you find the brass neck to go through with it? And how do you not get sued? And not live your life in fear of the you're getting sued flavour of brown envelope landing on the door mat?
How do you even come up with such a balls-out mental plan, and where do you find the brass neck to go through with it? And how do you not get sued? And not live your life in fear of the you're getting sued flavour of brown envelope landing on the door mat?
Valiofthedolls
VIP Member
I knew about the contract to publish the same book but had never clocked the contract was negotiated, signed, sealed and delivered and she was announcing within THREE WEEKS of the fundraiser closing! It’s mindblowing. She surely will have known about that imminent contract when she was still grifting the cash.
Then she’d clearly blown through all that entire £68,000+ by April of the following year when she was “coming out as skint” and on the beg on PayPal and Patreon cos she “couldn’t pay her rent”.
ETA I think she learned from that Kickstarter she could get away with just about anything £££. Well at least until she hit publish on July 31st 2022 anyway.
MurielSnark
VIP Member
Plenty of normally sane people were treading over the fine line into conspiracy thinking around the pandemic because everything was so scary and weird and we all knew govt was lying to us (we're only now finding out thru the Enquiry they were lying because they were useless, not because of any guiding hand, dark state).
Jack is as thick as two short planks, however, but reckons she's a misunderstood genius who has superior analytical powers to see what nobody else is seeing. She's the worst kind of stupid tinfoil hat wearer but the conspiracy circles are full to bursting with people just like her. She should hang out there full-time -- she'll find lots of other people willing to blow smoke up her Mediterranean arse and she can leave the rest of us to muddle along on the regular planes of existence.
SleevelessSlopSlinger
VIP Member
Not even self-aware enough to hide it.
MurielSnark
VIP Member
Even though we're all cross at The Guardian, they do publish some gems. Like this interview with Alan Partridge:
Some of his answers to the Q&A sound very reminiscent of you-know-who.
I’m a vegan. What would it take to convince you to become vegan, too?
I’m already about 70% vegan and have to say I don’t find it that hard. My last Sunday roast? Potatoes, carrots, parsnips, broccoli, cauliflower and beef. So, almost entirely vegan. Same with Nando’s. You’ve got your chips, your macho peas, your corn on the cob – show me a single thing on that plate that’s come from an animal. You can’t. Have another look. You still can’t. In most places, with only a minimum of effort, large portions of your meal can and will be vegan. So, be good to yourself, be good to the planet and go largely vegan today.
What song should be played at your funeral and who should sing?
There’s a homeless busker who performs at St Stephen’s underpass in Norwich. Some say he lives with his mum and pretends to be without a home to monetise the public’s pity for the downtrodden. I’m not sure; he looks homeless enough to me. But his act! A voice like thick honey, Kenneth-Williams-style diction and a set list comprising your Snow Patrols, Stereophonics and a slightly-too-high Goo Goo Doll encore. He’s the best singer I’ve ever heard (so far). And because I’m getting cremated and they position the singer near the furnace doors, he’d get to enjoy the warmth while singing. Even in death I’ll be giving a bit back to the needy. (Song: Pipes of Peace.)
https://www.12ft.io/https://www.the...s-and-sunday-roasts-im-already-about-70-vegan
Some of his answers to the Q&A sound very reminiscent of you-know-who.
I’m a vegan. What would it take to convince you to become vegan, too?
I’m already about 70% vegan and have to say I don’t find it that hard. My last Sunday roast? Potatoes, carrots, parsnips, broccoli, cauliflower and beef. So, almost entirely vegan. Same with Nando’s. You’ve got your chips, your macho peas, your corn on the cob – show me a single thing on that plate that’s come from an animal. You can’t. Have another look. You still can’t. In most places, with only a minimum of effort, large portions of your meal can and will be vegan. So, be good to yourself, be good to the planet and go largely vegan today.
What song should be played at your funeral and who should sing?
There’s a homeless busker who performs at St Stephen’s underpass in Norwich. Some say he lives with his mum and pretends to be without a home to monetise the public’s pity for the downtrodden. I’m not sure; he looks homeless enough to me. But his act! A voice like thick honey, Kenneth-Williams-style diction and a set list comprising your Snow Patrols, Stereophonics and a slightly-too-high Goo Goo Doll encore. He’s the best singer I’ve ever heard (so far). And because I’m getting cremated and they position the singer near the furnace doors, he’d get to enjoy the warmth while singing. Even in death I’ll be giving a bit back to the needy. (Song: Pipes of Peace.)
Valiofthedolls
VIP Member
1. I had no fridge and no lightbulbs for TWO YEARS with a child to raise ALONE!
2. I was a sex worker during my time answering the firephone, and IN PROSTITUTION TO SURVIVE in 2013!
3. My Mummy and Daddy were TOO POOR to afford dinner and survived on a SHARED can of cold beans!
4. An EVIL JOURNALIST made me say that awful stuff about poverty not happening to normal people and Jeremy Kyle tracksuit wearers!
5. POPPY SEED-induced hornyness for wang KNOCKED ME UP and people keep telling me I should have kept my LEGS CLOSED!
6. A Parliament PoPo waved me in with a cheery “Fanks, Bootstrap!” and FAMOUS MPs loved my hat from Twitter!
7. I, Daniel Blake is based on MY LIFE!
8. Evil ninja SHED BURGLARS stole my grandad’s Le Creuset!
What a bleeping fantasist
ETA I would definitely buy that copy of Take a Break Magazine tho. ⬆
DinosaurSenior
VIP Member
I've mentioned before, ...my 94 year old aunt who frequently affectionately calls people "twats", cos she thinks it's the same as "twit"Is twit considered to be swearing?
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