Friends (or lack of) #2

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WeHadFunRight said:
I know this is totally random but I’ve decided that before I go back to work from maternity leave I’m going to take myself (and my baby) to afternoon tea at the local fancy hotel 😂 I really want to go and can’t think of anyone I’d genuinely like to go with.

I was looking at the Instagram feed of one of my daughter’s old nursery workers and she does this thing called “date yourself” which I think is flipping amazing - she literally gets dressed up beautifully and treats herself to fancy days in London including fabulous meals out. I just love the idea and thought I’d bring it here 💚
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Go you! I done my “perfect day” before my return. I done the baby cinema, five guys and a primark haul followed by getting my fave ice cream x enjoy xxx
 
Maid22 said:
I'm feeling abit of a saddo tonight, I actually have no one apart from my oh, I have more interaction from folks on here, I've tried with others, but after a while they don't bother so it must be me, I don't want someone who is in my life all the time, just someone who sometimes I can txt, and have abit of contact with.
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I am the same. I want someone to connect with and have regular meets up but not in my face messaging me every day. I have my OH for that. 🤣
I literally met a woman off an app called peanut today.
I was appalled at her manners.
When her coffee arrived at the table she did not even thank the waitress.
She bombard me with questions and never let me finish and would bombard me with more questions.
Was an awful interview. I thought conversations are meant to flow.
I knew in the first 10 minutes I would never meet her again. After an hour and a bit I claimed I had some errands to do.
Now I’m sitting her thinking why the hell did I waste my time. I would rather be alone than mix with people for the sake of it. I’m trying to make an effort for my daughters sake.
 
alwaysdreaming said:
I am the same. I want someone to connect with and have regular meets up but not in my face messaging me every day. I have my OH for that. 🤣
I literally met a woman off an app called peanut today.
I was appalled at her manners.
When her coffee arrived at the table she did not even thank the waitress.
She bombard me with questions and never let me finish and would bombard me with more questions.
Was an awful interview. I thought conversations are meant to flow.
I knew in the first 10 minutes I would never meet her again. After an hour and a bit I claimed I had some errands to do.
Now I’m sitting her thinking why the hell did I waste my time. I would rather be alone than mix with people for the sake of it. I’m trying to make an effort for my daughters sake.
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That sounds horrendous. Sorry you wasted your time like that. I’d say you were unfortunate to meet up with a very rude and self centred person. I hope you have better luck going forward.

The not being alllowed to finish what you’re saying, is something that happens to me all the time, to the extent that a) I’m developing a real complex about it and b) I rarely bother telling anyone anything!
With me, I’m coming to accept that I must come across as completely uninteresting and unworthy of being listened to - it happens to me too frequently to be always other people at fault.
But people are shallow too, and governed by FOMO. I know a lot of people who like to say they have a lot of friends and a busy social life, but in reality they’re not real friends. They couldn’t tell you anything about anyone else beyond what holiday they’re going on, and what car they have - which they frantically try to compete with.
One messaged me with a question about something last night, and I answered and included a bit of a chat/news relating to the question.
I got a two word, brief response that told me she’d not bothered reading my message beyond the reply to her question.
Just completely uninterested in anyone else’s life.
 
mee43 said:
That sounds horrendous. Sorry you wasted your time like that. I’d say you were unfortunate to meet up with a very rude and self centred person. I hope you have better luck going forward.

The not being alllowed to finish what you’re saying, is something that happens to me all the time, to the extent that a) I’m developing a real complex about it and b) I rarely bother telling anyone anything!
With me, I’m coming to accept that I must come across as completely uninteresting and unworthy of being listened to - it happens to me too frequently to be always other people at fault.
But people are shallow too, and governed by FOMO. I know a lot of people who like to say they have a lot of friends and a busy social life, but in reality they’re not real friends. They couldn’t tell you anything about anyone else beyond what holiday they’re going on, and what car they have - which they frantically try to compete with.
One messaged me with a question about something last night, and I answered and included a bit of a chat/news relating to the question.
I got a two word, brief response that told me she’d not bothered reading my message beyond the reply to her question.
Just completely uninterested in anyone else’s life.
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Not being allowed to finish or start a sentence is plain rude. It’s not you. But it is incredibly common.

I’ve been thinking about these stories from us all on this topic and I started to wonder if by being loyal and patient and accommodating people are actually just seeing the words DOOR MAT like if we don’t have enough respect for ourselves to not let people treat us this way how can we expect to find friends who are going to give us the friendship that we deserve ? Just a thought. Im a people pleaser and I always have been but I’ve started to become less tolerant of people being rude and user like towards me. I think I’m some ways people like others with self respect - so remember to put yourself first.
 
mee43 said:
That sounds horrendous. Sorry you wasted your time like that. I’d say you were unfortunate to meet up with a very rude and self centred person. I hope you have better luck going forward.

The not being alllowed to finish what you’re saying, is something that happens to me all the time, to the extent that a) I’m developing a real complex about it and b) I rarely bother telling anyone anything!
With me, I’m coming to accept that I must come across as completely uninteresting and unworthy of being listened to - it happens to me too frequently to be always other people at fault.
But people are shallow too, and governed by FOMO. I know a lot of people who like to say they have a lot of friends and a busy social life, but in reality they’re not real friends. They couldn’t tell you anything about anyone else beyond what holiday they’re going on, and what car they have - which they frantically try to compete with.
One messaged me with a question about something last night, and I answered and included a bit of a chat/news relating to the question.
I got a two word, brief response that told me she’d not bothered reading my message beyond the reply to her question.
Just completely uninterested in anyone else’s life.
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Thank you! It took a lot of guts to meet someone online.
I find people who constantly interrupt rude. Period. Conversations works two ways.
People have lost the art of communication as we are always glued to our phones.
I’ll be honest if I like someone I am chatty patty. If I don’t like someone I am so quiet and soooo boring. 🤣
Nobody is uninteresting or boring. It’s finding the right company. In this group I find we value friendships and have morals. We hold our selves highly and won’t let anybody come into our space. We have respect for ourselves and have tolerances. I don’t need a gang of friends I just want good decent ones like myself.
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WeHadFunRight said:
Not being allowed to finish or start a sentence is plain rude. It’s not you. But it is incredibly common.

I’ve been thinking about these stories from us all on this topic and I started to wonder if by being loyal and patient and accommodating people are actually just seeing the words DOOR MAT like if we don’t have enough respect for ourselves to not let people treat us this way how can we expect to find friends who are going to give us the friendship that we deserve ? Just a thought. Im a people pleaser and I always have been but I’ve started to become less tolerant of people being rude and user like towards me. I think I’m some ways people like others with self respect - so remember to put yourself first.
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It’s us who have self respect not the other way round. They don’t want our friendship as they don’t value rawness. They want weak people who are willing to be friends with anyone even if they don’t like them.
Whenever I go coffee shops/ restaurants people always talking about their friends in their friendship groups. I always find it shocking as if I talk about a friend I don’t chat their business or I talk highly of them. I don’t waste my time talking about people behind their backs.
I have a good friend she knows I’m currently not working and I’m currently involved with motherhood.
She tells me to get out more and meet other mamas to fill my time. I am not like that.
I will not waste my time like that.
 
What is it with people feeling as though no one cares about them because no one ever texts them or asks them how they are?
I thought it was just me. But you're not alone.
I don't understand it though. I always ask my very few friends how they are. It's just lots of people I know just never ask me or never message me or anything. I could go a week or two with no messages if I wasn't the one to reach out first, I'm sure of it.
Why is it that people just don't seem to care about others? What goes through their heads?
 
I've just had a thought.
I'm wondering whether if someone has a lot of friends they don't value them as much as they would if they had fewer friends?
So just say they lose a friend they think "oh well I've got loads of others doesn't matter how I treated that person"
Whereas as people who have fewer friends value them more....
Maybe a bit harsh, but maybe some people do this.
 
I've been feeling quite lonely lately. I like living alone and I like my own company (to an extent) but lately it feels like I don't really have anyone local to me that I would call a friend. I worry that going into my forties it's going to be even harder to meet people.

I don't want a huge group of friends, just a couple of good friends to hang out with and do things with. I've always struggled to keep friends and now I wonder if this is it, just loneliness from now, nothing much else to look forward to 😕
 
Laughingforlife said:
Oh god since I posted this morning I've been feeling lonely and sad all day. It has been awful.
I don't know what triggered it. It's just I'm the one always putting in the effort and no one seems to care as much as I do.
I'm really feeling sorry for myself today. It hasn't been good.
I think my friend who ghosted me messed me up more than I realised.
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I hope you feel a bit better this morning and that you are taking care of yourself.
 
I’m trying not to spread my misery around but I am feeling lonely. I hate bothering people but I also want to talk, or just have fun.

I have one close friend who is lovely but married and busy. Her husband is always with her. I have a sister who is married and very busy. She mostly talks to me with her children present so it is not proper talk. And I have a work colleague who is also my boss so it’s very awkward really to have a real friendship but we do support each other, but she is also busy. I am then everyone else’s manager at work so I can’t really make close friends with anyone else.

My partner left me and I just lost all his family and friends in one go. They were all nice to me and said ‘text me any time’ but I don’t feel I can they are not my friends or my family. I can’t talk to them about him. He also said ‘you can always talk to me if you ever need to’ but I can’t can I, he just left me.

I had realised a few months ago I need more friends. I have one toxic friend who I am wary of rekindling a friendship with as it doesn’t make me feel good. I joined the gym and haven’t made any friends yet 🤣

people do ask how I am but then I feel like I can’t talk to them as it’s just them being polite? No one has really checked on me since I broke up with ex either and the initial OMG are you ok?

I realise I shouldn’t make a friend as I am miserable as then I would just be using them I need to make real friends to have a 2 way friendship. Where do you begin to find them?
 
Laughingforlife said:
Oh god since I posted this morning I've been feeling lonely and sad all day. It has been awful.
I don't know what triggered it. It's just I'm the one always putting in the effort and no one seems to care as much as I do.
I'm really feeling sorry for myself today. It hasn't been good.
I think my friend who ghosted me messed me up more than I realised.
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How are you feeling today
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Leafy Greens said:
I've been feeling quite lonely lately. I like living alone and I like my own company (to an extent) but lately it feels like I don't really have anyone local to me that I would call a friend. I worry that going into my forties it's going to be even harder to meet people.

I don't want a huge group of friends, just a couple of good friends to hang out with and do things with. I've always struggled to keep friends and now I wonder if this is it, just loneliness from now, nothing much else to look forward to 😕
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Loneliness is horrible isn’t it. I am grateful I have a partner and a son. He’s 4. My partner works late quite a lot so often I am sat alone when my little boy has gone to bed

I find myself reading or on here a lot or get an early night. It is horrible to feel alone. I wouldn’t say I have proper friends. Maybe 1 or 2.
This thread should be a general chit chat as well for anyone feeling lonely and needing some adult interaction 💕
 
I have made 2 friends this year. And I'm very grateful. However, past keeps haunting me as I'm so scared of texting either of these people in case I'm annoying them or they'll ignore me.
I know I'm thinking irrationally, but I'm just trying to pluck up the courage to talk to them. Help!
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strawberrysunshine_x said:
How are you feeling today
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Just seen this. Better thank you. Thinking happier things today. :)
 
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I have really had enough of people this week. The only people I really get to speak to are mostly mums around the school or maybe some dads and it’s so boring.
I’m dreading going back to work really but at least when I do go back I’ll get to talk to some people who aren’t so bloody dry. I feel so out of sorts in the mums group at school. I hate myself because I’m helpful but I think probably to the point it’s annoying and also I’ve made myself a mug agreeing to do things.
The lady across the street from me who has a baby the same age as me is boring AF with no chat about her. I think I just resent who I’ve got to choose from as friends tbh.

this Was a loosely threaded rant apologies.
 
WeHadFunRight said:
I have really had enough of people this week. The only people I really get to speak to are mostly mums around the school or maybe some dads and it’s so boring.
I’m dreading going back to work really but at least when I do go back I’ll get to talk to some people who aren’t so bloody dry. I feel so out of sorts in the mums group at school. I hate myself because I’m helpful but I think probably to the point it’s annoying and also I’ve made myself a mug agreeing to do things.
The lady across the street from me who has a baby the same age as me is boring AF with no chat about her. I think I just resent who I’ve got to choose from as friends tbh.

this Was a loosely threaded rant apologies.
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Sorry you feel like this. Feeling isolated when your children are very young is the absolute pits 😞
I never managed to fit in with any of the mum cliques at school and I absolutely hated myself for being such an awkward outsider.
I’ll always remember the mortification I felt when I was out shopping and spotted one of the mums from my youngest’s nursery school.
I stopped to say hello and have a brief chat, which I thought was the polite thing to do, and she just mumbled a hello and breezed right past me 😳 😂
Yet I’d often be standing right behind her and whoever she’d be chatting to, as we lined up to collect our kids after school!
I used to think I must put people off by just babbling nonsense/trying too hard to be nice 🤷‍♀️
But I’m shy and not a single one of those cliquey groups ever tried to involve me.
I hope when you go back to work you get to have a bit more engagement with people.
 
mee43 said:
Sorry you feel like this. Feeling isolated when your children are very young is the absolute pits 😞
I never managed to fit in with any of the mum cliques at school and I absolutely hated myself for being such an awkward outsider.
I’ll always remember the mortification I felt when I was out shopping and spotted one of the mums from my youngest’s nursery school.
I stopped to say hello and have a brief chat, which I thought was the polite thing to do, and she just mumbled a hello and breezed right past me 😳 😂
Yet I’d often be standing right behind her and whoever she’d be chatting to, as we lined up to collect our kids after school!
I used to think I must put people off by just babbling nonsense/trying too hard to be nice 🤷‍♀️
But I’m shy and not a single one of those cliquey groups ever tried to involve me.
I hope when you go back to work you get to have a bit more engagement with people.
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It’s just a bit rubbish, although I’ve just started to distance myself proactively now.
I wish I got on easier with people but then I remember I’ve never suffered fools gladly so I’d rather not put myself through it all. There are a lot of fools around.

just looking forward to yeah chatting about different stuff than bloody clubs 😂🫠
 
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