For anybody struggling ❤

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I am undercover said:
Just found this thread and feel like I should maybe share this because it’s anonymous and I’d be scared to say it to anyone I know as I’d come across heartless.

my dad has just been diagnosed with cancer, I don’t know much about it other than it’s spread and it’s not curable. My dad and I don’t have much of a relationship. He abused me growing up and it’s something he’s never been remorseful for despite giving him opportunities to hold himself accountable. I’ve always wanted a close family, to be loved by the people who were meant to love me but unfortunately he never changes.
anyway, he mentioned his diagnosis to me and I honestly felt nothing. He told me this a few weeks ago now and still, I’m not bothered.
I feel like a psycho for saying that but I need to get it out. I don’t love him. I don’t think I care about him. I used to until I had children myself and then I realised how terrible his abuse truly was.
he is in my life and is a fantastic grandad to my kids (would never leave them unsupervised) and they adore him too but I am simply numb to this news.
I’ve thought about what life would look like without him and it doesn’t sadden me..

im struggling more with the fact im NOT sad. I feel evil idk
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You’re not a psycho, it’s completely understandable after what he did to you. You’re not evil at all. Honestly you’re not so don’t think that. I know it’s easier said than done but you’re not heartless, sometimes people make you like that.
 
Not having a good time of it lately in bed now for days my cops is bad and I’m on antibiotics and steroids the dr has been out and said if I don’t improve soon I’ll end up in hospital
So sick of being sick my hubby is run ragged and I feel so guilty Xmas has been wiped off the calendar this year and new year looks bleak as well
So so sorry for offloading I needed to say something as my head is messed up atm anyways for all u out there suffering sending love and hugs 🤗
 
I am undercover said:
. I just want to wrap everyone up in bubble wrap and smother them with love 😂😂❤
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Remember and keep some of that love for yourself- you deserve it! ❤️
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imbeyondcaeing12 said:
So so sorry for offloading I needed to say something as my head is messed up atm
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Offload away! Not many understand the pressure of having physical illness has on our mental health. I am sure if the shoe was on the other foot - you would go over and above caring for your husband. There may be a local carers centre he can reach out to for support. Hoping you get some relief soon ❤️
 
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thenorthremembers said:
You’re not a psycho, it’s completely understandable after what he did to you. You’re not evil at all. Honestly you’re not so don’t think that. I know it’s easier said than done but you’re not heartless, sometimes people make you like that.
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No you are not evil or heartless. I was heartbroken when I heard a friends Dad died recently. I’ve known her for a long time and knew her Dad well. I am estranged from my own parents but the thought of their death leaves me cold. The thought they will die without apologising leaves me outraged. What happens to you shapes you. And we aren’t all gifted the same emotional package. Accept yourself as you are. Bet you are a great Mum and a fab friend, bet you are kind and helpful and operate with integrity. You are not heartless at all. Just have to accept not everything you do is mainstream x
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hereforthebanter6 said:
Hello . I am so glad I found this thread. Just wish I found it sooner ♥!

Yesterday was really hard for me . I don’t have any family as my mum and dad died a few years ago. I had messaged a friend in the morning saying that I probably wouldn’t be on my phone much but I did reply to my friend when they messaged as I didn’t want to be rude. At one point I had messaged saying how hard I was finding it without family and how I had been to the cemetery and the reply I got back was “ ok x”. In some ways , the “ok” hurt far more than no response would have. I just wanted to be understood and heard . Today my friend has messaged saying they were concentrating on being present and their dinner etc . I now feel a total burden and my heart is sore . Maybe I shouldn’t have messaged at all. Maybe I need to deal with it all myself. Thanks for listening ♥.
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Bit late to the table I know. That doesn’t sound like a great friend to be honest. You would never feel a burden with a friend especially not at this time of year. However I don’t think friend meant to be heartless, just doesn’t understand. I spent Xmas totally alone. Christmas Eve I sent a message to say merry Xmas to a friend. They sent one back saying and you have a great time (knowing I was alone) like you, but for different reasons I was heartbroken. Don’t feel a burden, next year plan to be around people. Volunteer it will make you feel great and certainly share your grief but with people who understand better. I should follow my own advice. I spent 4 days wallowing in the bottle which isn’t the answer. Can I check, how are you feeling today? X
 
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I struggle a lot with New Year's. Always have, but then we lost a very special family member on one New Year and it absolutely broke me. It took me a long time to even be able to say the words "happy new year" back to someone when they said it to me, because no new year could ever be happy when we had that insurmountable loss hanging over us. I still feel it now, it's always there. It's like a darkness that creeps in and I spend most of the day crying like the tears just pour from me I can't control it.

I currently have a newborn and I'm in the thick of post partum and everything is heightened. No one truly understands why I'm so sad and why I struggle with this time of year, even though many of them went through it with me, but I am more emotional than most and an empath so everything gets to me. I'm super sensitive and take everything that is said to me the wrong way. I always wish I could just hibernate during the new year period and wake up when it's all over. I've argued with my whole family today and I've felt so overwhelmed and frustrated. I feel like I'm in one of those slumps that is hard to get out of and I'm exhausted and annoying myself for not being stronger. Anyway, I just needed a space to get this all off my chest. Thank you to anyone who has read this far and I wish you all a happy and healthy new year. You are all amazing. It's so lovely to have such a supportive community here. I honestly haven't had many places to turn to lately but this little corner of the internet has helped me so much. Sending you all love into the new year ❤️
 
Jadejones9596 said:
Christmas Eve was horrific and ruined
So was New Year’s Eve

And I just can’t be here anymore. I have no one left now and I’m done with my life
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Please call
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Totally non judgment
They will be able to talk to you and support you with how your feeling now
I am sending you love and happy to chat here or in private if you prefer. I am not sure if that would help things but know there is someone thinking of you.
 
Bothers me more than in the past 20 hours she’s posted all these photos of meals. As someone running a “community fridge”, surely she should know better than to brag about all the food they can afford? Maybe I’m just salty cos I’ve got 73p and trying to find a food bank open on NYD to feed the kids is impossible, but still, is it really necessary? Food pics are so 2018.

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I’m really touched by all your lovely messages thank you!
My best friend and I went out last night and it was a disaster, all she’s interested in is her new bloke and left me alone for a half an hour in a venue that was completely dead because she wanted to be with him
I have depression which has been getting worse despite trying 6 different meds and CBT. Last year was dreadful for me and I really needed to see it out in a good way and it was totally ruined and now I’m going into 2024 even more depressed without a best friend.
This year will be just as tit as every other one tbh
 
Lucyinthesky88 said:
Bothers me more than in the past 20 hours she’s posted all these photos of meals. As someone running a “community fridge”, surely she should know better than to brag about all the food they can afford? Maybe I’m just salty cos I’ve got 73p and trying to find a food bank open on NYD to feed the kids is impossible, but still, is it really necessary? Food pics are so 2018.

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Can we help in anyway?
 
Jadejones9596 said:
I’m really touched by all your lovely messages thank you!
My best friend and I went out last night and it was a disaster, all she’s interested in is her new bloke and left me alone for a half an hour in a venue that was completely dead because she wanted to be with him
I have depression which has been getting worse despite trying 6 different meds and CBT. Last year was dreadful for me and I really needed to see it out in a good way and it was totally ruined and now I’m going into 2024 even more depressed without a best friend.
This year will be just as tit as every other one tbh
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It can be a hard, and very sad time of year, but at the end of the day, Christmas Day and New Year’s Day are just days.
It’s something I’m going to remember going forward - to try not to attach too much to a day that’s just another number on the calendar.
Your friend doesn’t deserve you, and if you don’t want them in your life any more, I’m 100% sure she’ll have lost more than you have.
Can you join a gym or a yoga class or something similar where you might meet other people and maybe give your mental health a lift at the same time?
I know I shouldn’t be giving advice on here, I’m not qualified in any way, but keep on keeping on, and value the little wins - I hope you can get to a place where the good days outweigh the bad ❤️
 
Lucyinthesky88 said:
Bothers me more than in the past 20 hours she’s posted all these photos of meals. As someone running a “community fridge”, surely she should know better than to brag about all the food they can afford? Maybe I’m just salty cos I’ve got 73p and trying to find a food bank open on NYD to feed the kids is impossible, but still, is it really necessary? Food pics are so 2018.

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I worked last week (support role) & the amount of families that were struggling was heartbreaking. All our local food banks have been closed from 23rd Dec until 2nd Jan. I applaud the work they do but I struggle to understand at the hardest time of the year people can’t access the basics 😢
If there’s anything us trolls can help with pls let us be there for you ❤️
 
Lucyinthesky88 said:
Thank you for the offer. I’m not sure if there is anything that can be done anonymously, from afar but I do appreciate the support. It seems only rich people like our Rach can get money and resources thrown at them when they don’t even need it 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ have to laugh xxx
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Bless you. Wish we could help someway? I think certain people (people like Rach and her ungrateful bunch) forget Christmas isn't all happy for everyone.
 
No_Angel said:
Bless you. Wish we could help someway? I think certain people (people like Rach and her ungrateful bunch) forget Christmas isn't all happy for everyone.
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Thank you. Yes, and I think that is the case for a lot of influencers, but what stings with R is that she should know better. She literally runs a food bank, which is closed to clients whilst she’s living it up posting constant photos of food 🙄
 
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