For anybody struggling ❤

1
I’ll be glad when today is over am exhausted not feeling well to begin with what with having a copd flare so antibiotics and steroids atm all I have to do is get through today.
I love my girls and all my grandkids but sometimes they drive me round the bend lol
Anyways hang in there everyone and sending the biggest hugs to anyone who needs it love and blessings to you all 🥰🥰🥰
 
Hello . I am so glad I found this thread. Just wish I found it sooner ♥️!

Yesterday was really hard for me . I don’t have any family as my mum and dad died a few years ago. I had messaged a friend in the morning saying that I probably wouldn’t be on my phone much but I did reply to my friend when they messaged as I didn’t want to be rude. At one point I had messaged saying how hard I was finding it without family and how I had been to the cemetery and the reply I got back was “ ok x”. In some ways , the “ok” hurt far more than no response would have. I just wanted to be understood and heard . Today my friend has messaged saying they were concentrating on being present and their dinner etc . I now feel a total burden and my heart is sore . Maybe I shouldn’t have messaged at all. Maybe I need to deal with it all myself. Thanks for listening ♥️.
 
hereforthebanter6 said:
Hello . I am so glad I found this thread. Just wish I found it sooner ♥!

Yesterday was really hard for me . I don’t have any family as my mum and dad died a few years ago. I had messaged a friend in the morning saying that I probably wouldn’t be on my phone much but I did reply to my friend when they messaged as I didn’t want to be rude. At one point I had messaged saying how hard I was finding it without family and how I had been to the cemetery and the reply I got back was “ ok x”. In some ways , the “ok” hurt far more than no response would have. I just wanted to be understood and heard . Today my friend has messaged saying they were concentrating on being present and their dinner etc . I now feel a total burden and my heart is sore . Maybe I shouldn’t have messaged at all. Maybe I need to deal with it all myself. Thanks for listening ♥.
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Omg I’m so sorry that you received just an ok. To play devils advocate, they might not want to say something to upset you further or don’t know what to say. But either way,anything would’ve been better than just 2 letter response! Just think Christmas is nearly over 😘
 
boomska said:
Omg I’m so sorry that you received just an ok. To play devils advocate, they might not want to say something to upset you further or don’t know what to say. But either way,anything would’ve been better than just 2 letter response! Just think Christmas is nearly over 😘
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I honestly can’t thank you enough for replying . It has really helped my sore heart. Thank you so much. I am so grateful that you took a few minutes to write me a message
 
I made the choice to spend Christmas alone following a dreadful year. I found my best friend dead last month and today I feel truly dreadful. I feel as if everyone expects me to be over it by now and no one seems to get why I wouldn't be in the mood to celebrate. We seen or spoke to each other everyday and we did so much together. I miss him so much and no one understands. I just feel so sad today that I'll never see him again and I honestly can't face going into the New Year.

I should probably add that I lost my husband 6 years ago in January and I moved away to start a new life. Just a few weeks before my best friend died, I was actually thinking that I felt happy for the first time in years. Tempted fate by saying that. I feel as if my only option is to move away and start another new life another 'new normal'.

Sorry to all of us who are struggling. Life can be so cruel ❤
 
MacPishFlaps said:
I made the choice to spend Christmas alone following a dreadful year. I found my best friend dead last month and today I feel truly dreadful. I feel as if everyone expects me to be over it by now and no one seems to get why I wouldn't be in the mood to celebrate. We seen or spoke to each other everyday and we did so much together. I miss him so much and no one understands. I just feel so sad today that I'll never see him again and I honestly can't face going into the New Year.

I should probably add that I lost my husband 6 years ago in January and I moved away to start a new life. Just a few weeks before my best friend died, I was actually thinking that I felt happy for the first time in years. Tempted fate by saying that. I feel as if my only option is to move away and start another new life another 'new normal'.

Sorry to all of us who are struggling. Life can be so cruel ❤
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I’m so sorry for your losses❤️
 
I really hate Boxing Day, hate the days inbetween Christmas and new year .. everyone is doing stuff with their family and I'm just with my daughter, yeah I like it just us two but it gets abit 😩 everyone is busy today doing other stuff! I'm lucky to have my daughter but i wouldn't mind some more adult company!

I hate being out of routine! I went off on one this morning and put the tree and all the decorations down. Ready for new year and some normality 😂
 
hereforthebanter6 said:
Hello . I am so glad I found this thread. Just wish I found it sooner ♥!

Yesterday was really hard for me . I don’t have any family as my mum and dad died a few years ago. I had messaged a friend in the morning saying that I probably wouldn’t be on my phone much but I did reply to my friend when they messaged as I didn’t want to be rude. At one point I had messaged saying how hard I was finding it without family and how I had been to the cemetery and the reply I got back was “ ok x”. In some ways , the “ok” hurt far more than no response would have. I just wanted to be understood and heard . Today my friend has messaged saying they were concentrating on being present and their dinner etc . I now feel a total burden and my heart is sore . Maybe I shouldn’t have messaged at all. Maybe I need to deal with it all myself. Thanks for listening ♥.
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I feel very similar in terms of having little l/ no family at Christmas time.
I just have my mum who's quite far away and it was only ever us at Christmas as my dad died when I was 2.
Never the big family get together. I always chose to work Christmas before having my son, now hes 11 and the magic has kind if left again.
Your friend may just not have known what to say to you 😔
 
Hi all, not sure if this is the right place so will put a TW - I have bipolar cptsd eupd I’m in a really bad place right now. Will give a bit of background, the past few years I have been in and out of psychiatrist wards, in hospital for OD’s currently have a mental health team (who are off till the new year) and in intense therapy for severe trauma that happened when I was young. I have a good family but I know they are getting sick of my constant crisis. just want to scream and tell them try living with it every single day! I’m on lots of sedative medication which does tit all apart from numb me and make me tired, oh and gain a tit load of weight so I hate myself even more! And I’m just tired right now of life and existing. I dread waking up right now i can’t find the motivation to do anything even the thought of killing myself feels to much effort I just want to lay in bed and just sleep but I can’t as I have priorities. I just am so unhappy I hate suffering from flashbacks and I despise the fact I have to recover from something I never asked to happen to me. I feel so alone I feel like an outsider of my family, a weirdo and i just don’t want to carry on anymore. Really sorry if I posted this in the wrong thread and really sorry this is depressing.
 
Longtimelurker xoxox said:
Hi all, not sure if this is the right place so will put a TW - I have bipolar cptsd eupd I’m in a really bad place right now. Will give a bit of background, the past few years I have been in and out of psychiatrist wards, in hospital for OD’s currently have a mental health team (who are off till the new year) and in intense therapy for severe trauma that happened when I was young. I have a good family but I know they are getting sick of my constant crisis. just want to scream and tell them try living with it every single day! I’m on lots of sedative medication which does tit all apart from numb me and make me tired, oh and gain a tit load of weight so I hate myself even more! And I’m just tired right now of life and existing. I dread waking up right now i can’t find the motivation to do anything even the thought of killing myself feels to much effort I just want to lay in bed and just sleep but I can’t as I have priorities. I just am so unhappy I hate suffering from flashbacks and I despise the fact I have to recover from something I never asked to happen to me. I feel so alone I feel like an outsider of my family, a weirdo and i just don’t want to carry on anymore. Really sorry if I posted this in the wrong thread and really sorry this is depressing.
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You are absolutely not a wierdo, and you are doing the right thing getting help ❤️
 
Elliesmum13 said:
Been in bed since Xmas night. Not had one merry Xmas message from anyone. How did my life get so pathetic. I’m so bleeping tired.
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I recognise your name from another thread. I've always enjoyed reading your comments. I'm sending you hugs and best wishes, I hope that things improve for you in the new year.❤️
Also sending kind thoughts to everyone on this thread.
 
Longtimelurker xoxox said:
Hi all, not sure if this is the right place so will put a TW - I have bipolar cptsd eupd I’m in a really bad place right now. Will give a bit of background, the past few years I have been in and out of psychiatrist wards, in hospital for OD’s currently have a mental health team (who are off till the new year) and in intense therapy for severe trauma that happened when I was young. I have a good family but I know they are getting sick of my constant crisis. just want to scream and tell them try living with it every single day! I’m on lots of sedative medication which does tit all apart from numb me and make me tired, oh and gain a tit load of weight so I hate myself even more! And I’m just tired right now of life and existing. I dread waking up right now i can’t find the motivation to do anything even the thought of killing myself feels to much effort I just want to lay in bed and just sleep but I can’t as I have priorities. I just am so unhappy I hate suffering from flashbacks and I despise the fact I have to recover from something I never asked to happen to me. I feel so alone I feel like an outsider of my family, a weirdo and i just don’t want to carry on anymore. Really sorry if I posted this in the wrong thread and really sorry this is depressing.
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I hope you're okay! 🩷
Its so hard when your family don't understand what mental health is like and struggling days.
You could always reach out to crisis/samaritains if you just need someone to chat to over the phone.
Please don't struggle in silence, reach out x
 
Just found this thread and feel like I should maybe share this because it’s anonymous and I’d be scared to say it to anyone I know as I’d come across heartless.

my dad has just been diagnosed with cancer, I don’t know much about it other than it’s spread and it’s not curable. My dad and I don’t have much of a relationship. He abused me growing up and it’s something he’s never been remorseful for despite giving him opportunities to hold himself accountable. I’ve always wanted a close family, to be loved by the people who were meant to love me but unfortunately he never changes.
anyway, he mentioned his diagnosis to me and I honestly felt nothing. He told me this a few weeks ago now and still, I’m not bothered.
I feel like a psycho for saying that but I need to get it out. I don’t love him. I don’t think I care about him. I used to until I had children myself and then I realised how terrible his abuse truly was.
he is in my life and is a fantastic grandad to my kids (would never leave them unsupervised) and they adore him too but I am simply numb to this news.
I’ve thought about what life would look like without him and it doesn’t sadden me..

im struggling more with the fact im NOT sad. I feel evil idk
 
I am undercover said:
struggling more with the fact im NOT sad. I feel evil idk
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There is no obligation to love someone because you have their DNA.
The fact that you are struggling with not being sad speaks volumes- it shows what a great person you are. Having him in your life for the sake of your children’s relationship with him is courageous and selfless. You will be sad when the inevitable happens because you know how it will hurt your children. Sending a virtual hug ❤️
 
evie1975 said:
There is no obligation to love someone because you have their DNA.
The fact that you are struggling with not being sad speaks volumes- it shows what a great person you are. Having him in your life for the sake of your children’s relationship with him is courageous and selfless. You will be sad when the inevitable happens because you know how it will hurt your children. Sending a virtual hug ❤
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oof this got some tears out of me, that was lovely to read. Thankyou so much. I do try to be the kindest version of myself because I’d hate anyone to ever feel the types of ways I did when growing up. I just want to wrap everyone up in bubble wrap and smother them with love 😂😂❤️
 
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