Sending love to you too vanillaI love this thread everyone on here is so kind and informative giving lots of excellent advice love and encouragement to those that need it so much better than any helpline that i have ever encountered you all deserve extra fakey
and a kindness
Hope you're feeling better soon! Thanks for the reply. He came off the Sertraline on Friday as he just wasn't sleeping without a sleeping tablet and it seemed to correlate with him starting them. Although he's been having trouble getting comfy in bed too which hasn't helped so have got him a new pillow as well.
I’d say to try the mertazapine. He doesn’t know until he tries how it’ll help him or not. From experience it was so good for me but I know that scary feeling of so I take it don’t I. It’s not and easy decision. But he’s not tied to this for life, all he had to do is try, if it doesn’t work for him again then there’s other options and he can stop it. Just try reassure him as much as you can, which I’m sure you are you seem so lovely and supportive. Google is the worst to self diagnose, easier said than done as I’ve googled before and went into panic mode but try get him to not look at things that’s worrying him and instead ask the professionals any questions he may have. Sending you both love and hope he finds some relief soon
Thanks Stargirl. He took it. I said he had to at least try. He did feel sleepy at first but then he had to pee about 3 times which woke him up again. Then he just couldn't seem to nod off again. Keeps saying his neck can't get comfortable. Don't think the new pillow helped. Also the bloody cat keeps meowing at the moment as well which doesn't help either. He's a house cat so can't do much with him. I went in the spare room at 3am so I could try and get some sleep although still woke up every couple of hours.
Oh bless him. It’s such a difficult situation to be in and I completely understand your feelings. It’s hard knowing what’s best to do, no one can predict one day to the next and it’s so hard when your normal support network is busy and can’t help out. At the end of the day, work can wait, you need to put yourself and your husband first and if that means staying home to have your daughter tomorrow then I’m sure work will understand. Hopefully if he sticks at the mertazepine for a few days he’ll notice the effects and start sleeping a lot better and then he can think more rational about longer term plan. It’s hard for anyone to make decisions when tired let alone someone who’s struggling to control their own emotions and thoughts. Stay strong my lovely, I know the impact it can have on you loving someone who’s struggling. You’re doing an amazing job and should be very proud of yourself for supporting your husband
Thanks Stargirl. I wasn't sure if he should maybe try 7.5mg tonight as I read the lower dose can help sleep more. He had 15mg last night which is supposed to help. Maybe he just needs to keep at it. I think he'd just held out hope that it would knock him out as he feels he can't sleep without some kind of help at the moment. He feels quite drowsy this morning but just exhausted and said it's like he's wasting away as each day is a struggle feeling like this at the moment.
Just try remind him he’s only took one, it can take a while to kick in and work. It’s not an instant fix unfortunately as much as I wish it was. Maybe stick with 15 tonight and if that doesn’t work try cut down to half. Has he tried taking nytol or camomile tea with the medication at night? That might help him better to sleep if he’s taking both?
I don't think he wants to take too many different things at the moment. He can't have camomile I don't think as it's high fodmap and he has IBS.
I have ibs and I’ve been fine on the camomile tea but I know not everyone can handle it. Nytol is over the counter sleeping tablets so not as strong as prescribed but I know how he feels. I always like to take the minimal amount of tablets as possible. I find reading before bed often helps too. It distracts my mind and gets me sleepy so he could always try that if he’s into reading? There’s a book called reasons to stay alive by Matt Haig it’s a brilliant book if he’s wanting to read that. I was recommended it by my counsellor 4 years ago and it was life changing. Really opened my eyes and was nice to read about someone experiencing what I do and know it’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of. It helped me a lot to understand my brain and why I was feeling the way I was. I got it in a local book shop to be but It’s also on Amazon I believe so you should be able to get it in Ireland
Thanks. He was starting to read a little in the afternoons when he normally chills out between lessons but at the moment he's so tired he just can't seem to focus on anything.
Oh bless him, I completely understand. I remember really trying and wanting to do things but my brain just wouldn’t allow me
I really hope he feels better soon and you can both get some life back. Sending all my love
Thank you. Me too! The longer he goes on the more he stresses about work and money.Oh bless him, I completely understand. I remember really trying and wanting to do things but my brain just wouldn’t allow me
Oh bless him. It’s not easy at all but he needs to put his health first. I know financially it’s not easy but money can wait, his health can’t x
Keep trying to tell him that. Because he gave up a higher paid job to do this he took on more of the financial burden really so I wasn't affected too much but means he pays a lot of the bills etc from his money. We have some in savings though and if need be I have an ISA etc we could use. He could get a sick note and claim some money if need be I believe as well. He has got health insurance but not sure if he has to be off for a certain time before they start paying out. There's always options.
Yeah I’m not sure how it all works but if she’s there’s options if needed. If he’s stressing over work and money it won’t help him get any better. He needs to think of himself and his health and put that First although I know that’s easier said than done x
Royal Holloway University isn't in London Duchess. It's in Surrey and it's breathtaking. Holloway, London is a complete and utter shithole and famous for the women's prison (now shut down). You certainly wouldn't want to visit there!
Unfortunately, although you try your hardest to help some people unfortunately it can be too late. Having first-hand experience of watching somebody very close to me self-destruct and die because of alcohol, it is beyond horrific. You must put yourself and those boys first. Sending you all my love and prayers. XI married my (now) ex husband back in 1999 knowing he had issues around alcohol. We had 3 sons in quick succession & his dependence was becoming more clear to see. Eg bathing or reading stories to our little tots with the always ever present beer can.
For years I tried to desperately normalise this behaviour or kid myself I was imagining it.
It was only when I discovered he'd drunk drove 2 of our sons & belittled one of them for telling me that I had the utterly amazing light bulbmoment that it was game over, he's outta of here, divorce is a coming.
The painful reality of this year, finally after he played dice on his ever declining health, that he passed away. I have 3 young men (18, 19 & 21) to support through their mixture of shock, regret, anger & utter sadness.
I'm so angry that in his final years he couldn't step up & be the dad they so longed for. He remained as ever wrapped up in his own selfish world of needs, lack of foresight & what was important to him & not his 3 amazing sons.
oh yeah Holloway prisonRoyal Holloway University isn't in London Duchess. It's in Surrey and it's breathtaking. Holloway, London is a complete and utter shithole and famous for the women's prison (now shut down). You certainly wouldn't want to visit there!
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complete forgot about the prison lol you always know how yo make people laugh/smile @CrazyBaldhead I needed that 
Seems to me she either she’s skint or has actually read the room because of the cost of living crisis she is trying to gain followers by coming across as “relatable” to followers by doing the painting herself ans selling clothes on vinted or it’s because Fakey is a lazy jealous twit and she has no option because if she leaves it to him it will never get done! Plus she wants the perfect white picket fence Walton family which doesn’t exist and because this is her second child to another man she’s determined to make this last (my grandmother has 2 illigatimate children, image that in catholic Ireland in the 50’s , long story but just to say half siblings in my family are treated no different (unlike baby boy number 2 Freddie 
) I haven’t looked at it in two days just saw this notification from baldhead quoting me Thankyou though 
that building is incredible
sorry @stargirl23 im a bleep and just take medication when I feel like, I know it’s wrong but …. sorry can’t be of any help
RIP Nicola..