Alfies Irrelevant Deyes of Arrested Development

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Productive work day..
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GossWhore said:
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  • His new vlog --started with "Collection 3" filmed like young millennials from Shoreditch will be wearing it :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
  • "Since I relaunched the PB channel and have more mature older content, on this channel I thought I would go back to my roots and film my mundane, casual life. If you were looking for top quality content with hilarious moments - click off" --- Noone has ever looked for top quality content from you Alf
  • Said he's going back to Dubai in a couple days again with Morgan --- another ad??
  • He listed like 5 tasks he needs to do to keep himself "accountable" -- Get rid of Halloween crap, empty suitcase, turn on AGA oven, clean Percy and EMPTY THE SWIMMING POOL --- 5 tasks and he needs to be accountable? Most of us would just do it! Especially the pool! YUCK.
  • "I am so happy I relaunched the main channel this year if I hadn't I would have cried" --2 videos tho?
  • Zalfie have started composting in their garden -- wonder how long that will last
  • They could not turn on their AGA -- they arrange someone to come in and do it
  • Alfie films Percy -- he lives!!!
  • OMG, his phone case is a pretentious picture of himself???
  • Alfie picks up pizza for dinner and Zoe says "I'm excited for this" --- how excited can you be for a basic ass margarita pizza?
  • Alfie says he was looking through old footage and found a cute clip -- I honestly thought he meant of Zoe, NOPE -- Buzz and Narla and him loool
  • Alfie then says he has a presentation at work -- 10 mins where everyone talks about something outside work they are passionate about --- I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE NECESSITY -- what does this add to his employees lives?
  • Anyways he says he hasn't made a powerpoint in a long time, he didn't even know if he had Powerpoint!!! He makes 4 slides!
  • He picked the "stimulation theory" -- the theory we are living in a stimulation. And to add this cheeky c**t says "It's a pretty heavy topic...dodon't expect you to go ohhh yeah I know about that" -- he really thinks highly of himself??
  • The title of the Powerpoint was "Is it possible that we're not real and we don't even know it" -- he inserted the presentation in the vlog
  • As someone who does public speaking for a living his presentation was piss poor. Reading from the screen, hutched on the floor, no eye contact, black and white powerpoint. I would have checked out if I was in that room. I checked out watching the vlog.
  • HE WENT FULL ALFIESTOLE -- he added Plato's the Cave in the presentation -- although I don't think he really understood the concept as he read it
  • The next clip is them putting a 7 foot Christmas tree up and a massive Santa -- its November!
  • I do wonder how long it will take for them to take that tree down after Christmas.
  • ALFIE THEN STARTED SKIPPING IN THE OFFICE!!! --- an adult skipping in the office????
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I read this and still thought for some reason I should put myself through watching the video.
 
- Collection 3, what a joke. Money grabbing piece of crap, that logo just screams lazy.

- Relaunached the Main Channel. Barely. Two video of sitting having a chat with friends is not quality mature content. It’s lazy content. It’s dated content. And it definitely is not mature, it’s just laughing at sex stories or that Marcus actually wants to marry his girlfriend.

- Going back to Dubai will presumably be to make his veneers permanent.

- I’d say I can’t believe the pool is still up, but I can actually. It should’ve been taken down and put away months ago, that outdoor sofa should be put away for Winter, same with the BBQ and any other outdoor equipment like that.

- There is a 5-stage compost heap at the bottom of the garden. Something they only know exists because they don’t normally put anything on it, their gardeners do, they are the ones who sort the composting out. Not Zalfie.

- Working for Zalfie at that office sound so like such a chore. Okay the don’t seem to do any actual work, but all the other bollocks just sounds so draining and time consuming outside of work. Office Bake Off, silly presentations. Alfie has no hobbies or interest so bullshits his way through talking about simulation theory, he knows nothing about it and clearly halfarsed the whole thing. If he had a hobby to talk about, he would’ve breezed it. He could’ve talked about his gym and body transformation if he actually worked at that properly to achieve anything. He could’ve talked about learning the piano after spending £££ on a posh piano but then didn’t actually have any lessons.

- He is really such an awful speaker, I don’t know how he gets invited to talk at anything. He doesn’t command the room - even a room full of his own employees - he doesn’t get his points across, he isn’t coherent, he is clearly unprepared and unresearched for the topic of the presentation. He didn’t understand the Plato’s Cave thing.

- All afternoon at the office decorating for Christmas, not getting any real work done. But then kept his Brand Partnership Manager at the office hours past knocking off time, when everyone else left at 5:30, the other guy was kept late. No consideration for the life he presumably has at home. THAT WAS AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE IN MY EYES, SO DISRESPECTFUL. I was fuming on behalf of the employee.

- Alfie wants to watch a film, Zoe guesses Harry Potter ?, had been watching Christmas films earlier in the vlog ??, she’s nearly 30. Also once again having their meal in bed, a “guilty pleasure”, no just a daily habit for them two.
 
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His presentation was so half arsed, it’s is riddled with grammatical errors, using the wrong form of ‘were’, should be ‘we are’ or ‘we’re’. ‘Indistinguishable’ is also just one word. He really needs to scrub up on his basic English skills, it’s shameful.

Every other sentence pretty much, just really poorly structured. No flow to what is said, and they don’t read well, and aren’t always very clear.

Break each section down into multiple brief bullet points and you can get away with limited info in a presentation because the speaker fills it out with detail, you didn’t get that from Alfie.
 
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Hold up...

He’s been wearing his Invisalign braces for the last 32 years (slightly exaggerated) yet he went to Dubai to get veneers done? And he’s going back a week later ?

So Einstein is credited with saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results.
Oh No not Albert........
I meant Alfie, when he’s talking about turning on the bleeping Aga.

“When did people used to call me sushi Dayes”

Oh feck right off. ?
 
Srh1984 said:
Matter of time before he becomes a Scientologist because he things it’s ‘savage’ haha. He’s a salesman’s dream
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Very true, he’d be so easy to brainwash and exploit I’m genuinely surprised Scientology hasn’t hit YouTube yet. In ten years I can totally see him washed up, slightly overweight and having lost all his money in some cult or pyramid scheme, doing novelty personal appearances like members of s club 7 now.
 
Can’t get over how rubbish his presentation was I’ve actually got second hand embarrassment.. as someone who’s studied philosophy at university and had to give numerous presentations it actually hurt watching him attempt to explain and give a presentation on Plato, Alfie pls stay in your lane and don’t try and make out like you’re intellectual and deep because it is quite obvious you didn’t fully grasp and understand the topic you were talking about and it’s difficult to watch when your sentences don’t flow or make sense :oops::rolleyes:
 
wow that advert for collection 3 screams even less efforts. He didn't even hire a bunch of models to eat pizza this time.
and I went to look at the sick merch.

A signed poster?????

Gift Box includes 2019 Photo Calendar, Collection No 3 Hoodie, exclusive beanie, which is not available to purchase separately and a hand signed card from Alfie! RRP over £60

it's so bad the box is spitting the items out

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