Alfies Irrelevant Deyes of Arrested Development

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GossWhore said:


This is misleading, as Alfie hasn't even got 11million between his vlog and main channel -- the 11 million was Zoe
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You forgot his gaming channel at 1.7M. It rounds it off to approx 11milliin across channels. I see a lot of firms that manage social media personalities do really twisted accounting and add up followers on ALL platforms (Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, twitch, Snapchat, etc.) of a specific platform and try and report that number. It looks more impressive in marketing that way - not necessarily a complete lie when they phrase it correctly (although highly manipulative). Just another gimmick to make money.
 
I’ve wanted to witch about that Steve Bartlett guy for a while. I find him so bleeping cringey. We get it, you set up a successful social media agency when you were young and now you’re rich.

His interview series is just a chance for him to arselick other arseholes. How can Sushi Deyes be anyone’s “inspiration” :ROFLMAO:
 
Like JUNE from the calendar. Looks like he just found some dog tit on his shoe :poop:

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So, found out why Alfistotle thinks he’s a supermodel suddenly.

He’s got FRONT COVER, yep front cover... for.....the highly renowned magazine, ‘blogosphere’

Is this seriously his big secret magazine shoot he was on about??

Actually prefer his tit challenge videos than him pretending to be a serious businessman. At least those were credible with his personality
 
Omg the pics from his Blogosphere shoot see hilariously bad.

He's super proud on Twitter. Guess they ran out of other irrelevant YouTubers so it was his turn.

And link to the short video of his shoot. They captioned his obnoxious laugh


Sidenote: 1st pic -- he looks like he's contemplating having Dominoes or Sushi for dinner.
2nd -- like he's thinking about Mark lovingly .
3rd - the poor woman be subjected to "yeah I make savage merch" talk and her looking like "should I kill myself now or later".
4th -- like he's saying to the photographer "and it's been 6 years, still no ring or bump haha"
5th -- Give us a Primark version of Danny Zuko from Grease
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GossWhore said:
Omg the pics from his Blogosphere shoot see hilariously bad.

He's super proud on Twitter. Guess they ran out of other irrelevant YouTubers so it was his turn.

And link to the short video of his shoot. They captioned his obnoxious laugh


Sidenote: 1st pic -- he looks like he's contemplating having Dominoes or Sushi for dinner.
2nd -- like he's thinking about Mark lovingly .
3rd - the poor woman be subjected to "yeah I make savage merch" talk and her looking like "should I kill myself now or later".
4th -- like he's saying to the photographer "and it's been 6 years, still no ring or bump haha"
5th -- Give us a Primark version of Danny Zuko from Grease
f3067e3d697ad30c8143e56e97dc0e77.jpg
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52e68133b5329ed157784b7c4cf10def.jpg
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Is it so wrong to want somebody to look at the camera when having their photo taken? Or is that not “arty” enough for this low rate shoot for some irrelevant magazine nobody actually reads. It’s Blogosphere not GQ.
 
It's like he's trying to outdo himself to make shitter thumbnails, them holding Starbucks disposable cups while looking vacant and basic. How difficult would it be to at least keep reusable cups in their landrover?

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Complaining about how difficult it is to vlog while holding a drink. They both went to buy brand new cameras for vlogmas but only one was in stock. What happened to all the other cameras? If anyone makes it past 3 mins do share
 
I would really like to know the numbers for the sales of his third collection bc in the vlog he claims it's selling really fast but then quickly gets distracted by mini pianos while window shopping. Then he goes back to talk about collection no. 3 again but you can tell he's losing interest bc he keeps getting distracted and drifts off from his sales pitch altogether. We should all take classes from Alfie. Be completely uninterested in your own crappy merchandise that you're pitching bc mini pianos are cooler (nvm that they have a regular sized one at home collecting dust) but also claim its supposedly selling out fast. Don't talk about why the collection is unique from the previous PB collections or why you should get it. It's so freaking brilliant. :rolleyes:

It's also amazing how quickly Zoe has made a full recovery from her flu while in Dubai. The only evidence that you can tell she's been sick is her greasy hair oh wait that's everyday nvm. But seriously, what happened to their other cameras that they both needed to get new ones? You don't need to upgrade cameras annually, esp since Zoe stops filming after Vlogmas anyways and only pops up once every few months when she is obligated to promote something.

He was more passionate about the blanket he bought from the garden center (later on in the vlog) then when he talked about PB merch. collection no. 3 in the beginning of the vlog. Because he loves the cozy blanket he bought so much he might do a PB blanket (you know once after the food court idea takes off). I totally regret watching this vlog in it's entirety and will stick to recaps by others here. Total brain drain.
 
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What annoys me most about that Blogosphere cover is that all the lil' lifestyle blogs with tiny followings are obsessed with Blogosphere and now they're all gonna go Twitter crazy about how "great" this Alfie issue is, ugh.
 
Just to counter me actually sticking up for him on Zoella's thread.

Just watched last nights. He started sweeping a basketball court but then it was still filthy when he was taking the pictures

'Best sound ever' - opening a can of juice (Errm Alfie, get out more often)

Can someone please get him a stylist, why do him and Marcus think that wearing xxl when they are probably a medium, looks like they SAVAGE, SICK, SENDING IT....It doesn't. It looks like you got some hand me downs you didn't try on...

13.53 in the blog, he spans to the office, theres just his mate, and what looks like Holly. That office must be DEAD when they aren't playing games/eating donuts etc it seems an extended social space to their house.

Absolutely agree with the above, I cannot stop looking out his new 'logo' and I must have looked 100 times and it still doesn't read pointless. How on earth did that A get signed off as being a T. Also, why does he need a new 'logo' each month. Most companies have ONE logo and just change their designs for the tee. Oh sorry, Alfie can't be arsed to do that as would mean effort. Writing pointless in an illegible font each month is far easier. (I mean every three months of course as it's never monthly as he promised)

He's truly got no idea that the PB in the circle is HIS BRAND... that's how people know it's his stuff, changing it every month is surely ridiculous.

Sorry got off on a tangent there, could type about these morons forever.
 
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Helloally said:
the new vlog haha I just skimmed through it.. it's like he's a parody of himself
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Yeah like filming that ad on 35mm film for instance. I’m sure it cost a bunch, rather than using his thousands of pound of digital cameras and equipment.
Just so many reasons why that was unecesssary, he’s not Scorsese ffs. He’s not even a YouTube filmmaker like Casey Neistat. He’s just a pretentious fool without an original thought in his head selling cheaply made hoodies to children.
 
Srh1984 said:
13.53 in the blog, he spans to the office, theres just his mate, and what looks like Holly. That office must be DEAD when they aren't playing games/eating donuts etc it seems an extended social space to their house.

Absolutely agree with the above, I cannot stop looking out his new 'logo' and I must have looked 100 times and it still doesn't read pointless. How on earth did that A get signed off as being a T. Also, why does he need a new 'logo' each month. Most companies have ONE logo and just change their designs for the tee. Oh sorry, Alfie can't be arsed to do that as would mean effort. Writing pointless in an illegible font each month is far easier. (I mean every three months of course as it's never monthly as he promised)

He's truly got no idea that the PB in the circle is HIS BRAND... that's how people know it's his stuff, changing it every month is surely ridiculous.
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That office is a play-center, to say it's a place where work gets done is a joke. Since they both rarely leave the house, this is their safe space outside of their home where they can host pointless parties, decorate to their heart's content (it's a shame Zoe throws out all of her decor once it's over, she could recycle it at their office instead), and only visit when they need to promote something or have a 'meeting'. I've worked a lot of different jobs but I've never been in an environment where it's so casual and non-chalant about getting actual work done and instead where the focus is on decor and playing games. Oh and those over the top b-day celebrations. I would say it must be nice to not actually work but then their employees have to participate in stupid contests and buy their merchandise (like Zoe's stupid hosting book that she's couldn't even gift them). I would imagine the employees can't be paid that well, with maybe the exception of Holly. It seems so cruel for the employees to have to spend their own money to line their 'bosses' pockets or for their entertainment.

I never understood why Alfie changes his logo every month as well. Part of brand recognition is also about establishing consistency. The PounAless logo is by far his worst one and outside of his minions no one would have a clue what that says. Alfie knows nothing about marketing, even in his latest vlog he couldn't properly pitch collection 3. He kept getting distracted and didn't seem that interested in promoting it.
 
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