Alfies Irrelevant Deyes of Arrested Development

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Helloally said:


11:46
Alfie: Which ones are your favorites *picks two* these two are mine
Zoe: Bounty and Mars (the two candies left)
Alfie: Eyyy perfect.. *high fives her girlfriend*
Zoe: That's why we're perfect
Alfie: *awkward laugh* criiinge (he actually says the word out loud)

She's kinda cringy and corny but he treats her like dirt.

Awkwardly laughing when saying "cringe" to something your girlfriend just said and trying to be the "cool" one is actually cringy.

At this point, I respect her less for not leaving him.WHY is she with such a tool? He's not a smart, good-looking, kind or genuinely a good person...
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He's really enjoying showing off his disdain for Zoe, he's been on a roll lately. That's a terrible screencap of her as well which I'm sure was intentional. He said cringe out loud? I hope that's not one of his small dictionary of words that will be on repeat next to: savage, yeoh, send it, and sick. I can't believe people still think these two are goals because the remaining two candies that were left after Alfie got first pick were the ones that Zoe supposedly likes. So this is how compromise in relationships work, I guess I've been doing it wrong with my s/o all along then...
 
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“Popping these in with a few of the calendars” he says ??
I wonder who will be lucky enough to get the one on the top left. They’re all so awkward I lol’ed.
 
What ever happened his friend.
Chai or whatever he was called?!
The ‘pound land’ version of ‘own brand’ Sean
??‍♀️
Have I just missed him being around?

And his other little scumbag friend Ryan Taylor?
Has he still skipped out on his fiancé, son and puppy? ?
These youtube lads are a catch.
 
captainxpudding said:
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“Popping these in with a few of the calendars” he says ??
I wonder who will be lucky enough to get the one on the top left. They’re all so awkward I lol’ed.
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Did he hit his head on something recently? Who would even want these?! I bet he spent a lot of time in front of the mirror practicing the poses and thinking he’s a model now. So much variety in his poses. Looking left and looking right. A real Zoolander with the smolder he’s giving off in these polaroids. ?

Alfie, focus on one thing at a time. Let’s start with your ‘podcast’ which is still unavailable to stream and is posting the second episode nearly three weeks later... Who the eff wants a PoundAless calendar? Like why is Alfie of all people releasing a calendar when he doesn’t even stick to a schedule and always puts out crap last second. And also spent a good chunk of 2018 doing nothing. Yes, that’s exactly the type of person I would want to buy a calendar from. From a lazy, inconsistent YouTuber who is only still relevant because of his girlfriend that he doesn’t even fancy. Killing it on YT and in business. Literally.
 
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  • Alfie in the description states this "This video is ??? sponsored, but the trip was booked by visit Dubai, so big thanks to them for helping making it happen!" --- My face...............
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  • Instead of taking in Dubai, he is talking about "get it for the gram"
  • He has new merch?? The t=shirt in his vlog == so basic, but this is what we expect from Alfie #BasicBitchBehaviour
  • He shows the book he's reading "If I Could Tell You One Thing" -- of course the only book reads is 1-page quotes, he even says "it's simple and easy to read"
  • Then an unnecessary montage of Zalfie playing cards
  • Zoe is reading Lily Allen biography "My Thoughts Exactly" -- Alfie talks about the lies and rumours about Lily and how untrue they are, he says "she goes innnnn" -- probably thinking how "relatable" it is for him
  • Alfie downloaded Candy Crush -- he is on level 60 in a couple of hours!!!!
  • Alfie then heads to the Dubai mall on his own for tit for her e.f. comfy bottoms, a snack - Lazella strikes again.
  • Zoe said her anxiety is also about being unwell? LOOOOL --- then look after yourself better!!!
  • Sidenote: The most moaning Zoe does isn't in bed, it's when shes "ill"
 
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POV-NAI-ESS... FOC-NAL-ESS .... Fol-nai- For-nal.... Pol-nai-ess
If I didn't know who he was and I saw that tshirt in a store, i'll be like ... is that a wrong spelling, or is that French (no, I'm not laughing at French)
or like a you know foreign tshirt printed wrongly
(we've all seen those wrong spelling stuff)
 
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  • His new vlog --started with "Collection 3" filmed like young millennials from Shoreditch will be wearing it :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
  • "Since I relaunched the PB channel and have more mature older content, on this channel I thought I would go back to my roots and film my mundane, casual life. If you were looking for top quality content with hilarious moments - click off" --- Noone has ever looked for top quality content from you Alf
  • Said he's going back to Dubai in a couple days again with Morgan --- another ad??
  • He listed like 5 tasks he needs to do to keep himself "accountable" -- Get rid of Halloween crap, empty suitcase, turn on AGA oven, clean Percy and EMPTY THE SWIMMING POOL --- 5 tasks and he needs to be accountable? Most of us would just do it! Especially the pool! YUCK.
  • "I am so happy I relaunched the main channel this year if I hadn't I would have cried" --2 videos tho?
  • Zalfie have started composting in their garden -- wonder how long that will last
  • They could not turn on their AGA -- they arrange someone to come in and do it
  • Alfie films Percy -- he lives!!!
  • OMG, his phone case is a pretentious picture of himself???
  • Alfie picks up pizza for dinner and Zoe says "I'm excited for this" --- how excited can you be for a basic ass margarita pizza?
  • Alfie says he was looking through old footage and found a cute clip -- I honestly thought he meant of Zoe, NOPE -- Buzz and Narla and him loool
  • Alfie then says he has a presentation at work -- 10 mins where everyone talks about something outside work they are passionate about --- I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE NECESSITY -- what does this add to his employees lives?
  • Anyways he says he hasn't made a powerpoint in a long time, he didn't even know if he had Powerpoint!!! He makes 4 slides!
  • He picked the "stimulation theory" -- the theory we are living in a stimulation. And to add this cheeky c**t says "It's a pretty heavy topic...dodon't expect you to go ohhh yeah I know about that" -- he really thinks highly of himself??
  • The title of the Powerpoint was "Is it possible that we're not real and we don't even know it" -- he inserted the presentation in the vlog
  • As someone who does public speaking for a living his presentation was piss poor. Reading from the screen, hutched on the floor, no eye contact, black and white powerpoint. I would have checked out if I was in that room. I checked out watching the vlog.
  • HE WENT FULL ALFIESTOLE -- he added Plato's the Cave in the presentation -- although I don't think he really understood the concept as he read it
  • The next clip is them putting a 7 foot Christmas tree up and a massive Santa -- its November!
  • I do wonder how long it will take for them to take that tree down after Christmas.
  • ALFIE THEN STARTED SKIPPING IN THE OFFICE!!! --- an adult skipping in the office????
 
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