Alfies Irrelevant Deyes of Arrested Development

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Firstly why is he sitting in a trolley and acting serious?
Secondly how are you supposed to actually use the calendar when the spaces are SO tiny next to each day?!
 

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I’m a bit behind here but just watched ‘his honest chat with Marcus’

Now, Marcus bores me to tears but at least he’s got something about him (despite that god awful tee that is about five sizes too big)

I just found the ‘chat’ basically Alfie’s way of trying to gain new ideas for savage businesses and to pretend he’s done the same and evolved etc. When in reality even this ‘honest chat’ is a copy of Marcus’ usual videos
 
Bythesea said:
Firstly why is he sitting in a trolley and acting serious?
Secondly how are you supposed to actually use the calendar when the spaces are SO tiny next to each day?!
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???? this is the best thing I’ve ever seen... someone please photoshop something from Plato on it

( Edit to add -talking abut the trolley pic of course ?)
 
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Bythesea said:
Firstly why is he sitting in a trolley and acting serious?
Secondly how are you supposed to actually use the calendar when the spaces are SO tiny next to each day?!
Click to expand...

Well, he is making a calendar that would suit him, big narcissistic pictures, because he’s simple. And given the lack of anything going on in his life that he needs to write down, he wouldn’t need to space to actually write anything. The few things he does do are either last minute shambles or rearranged thirty odd times first.
 
Didn’t even know he had a calendar out. Wow. Graphic designer needs sacking, although judging it, it’s some savage student that has worked for free in return for ‘exposure’ no doubt.

Calendar. Awful photography, basic number layout, no important dates on it such as bank holidays etc.

Logo. Unreadable. Like, literally cannot read pointless even when I know that’s what it says.

And his headphones sihouette thing reminded me of Simon Wilson’s logo, maybe I’m stretching too far here but immediately thought of it.
 

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The calendar pictures look so CRINGE. There's not even a single pic that looks into the camera.
Who the duck would want to use that? There're better decent and cheaper calendars out there that people can buy.
I think at this point, he just wants to sell more crappy expensive merch and grab money as much as he can.
 
Alfie clearly submitted the not wanting to marry his partner secret and just changed the details just enough to make it not look like him.

Otherwise it just seems to be more terrible stories about piss and tit and stuff. Also Charlotte somehow manages to give even worse advice than Alfie.
 
sitesorestrictive said:
Wait wait wait...

There was a made up bullshit secret "someone" submitted saying they were with their partner for 6 years but has no plans of marriage or kids and wants to get out. Alfie submitting his own secrets already?
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More importantly how did Joe manage to keep a straight face? Alfie, if you're going to submit your own secrets do try to make it less obvious... It starts around 5:20 in the podcast video if you can't stand to watch the whole thing. I feel like Joe's advice in the beginning was directed towards Alfie in a way (or maybe it's wishful thinking) and Alfie seemed very quiet and didn't have much to say on the matter... interesting. Considering he's in a similar situation, you would think he would have some knowledge.

@GossWhore LMAO at the video. Thank you so much for making it. Plafie... Dead. Alfie's thread on this site never disappoints, so many good digs at Alfie.
 
sitesorestrictive said:
Wait wait wait...

There was a made up bullshit secret "someone" submitted saying they were with their partner for 6 years but has no plans of marriage or kids and wants to get out. Alfie submitting his own secrets already?
Click to expand...


Genuinely think that was someone trolling Alfie but changing aspects of the story to make it believable enough to get past Alfie Einstein himself.

This was filmed in about July right?
Definitely during the summer so does that mean part one of the tit show was early summer.
Can’t fault Alfie’s work ethic.
He has none. Nothing to find fault with.

Good luck on your apartment hunting and move Alfie.
6 years sounds about right considering it took 12 months to upload 40 odd minutes of your hermit girlfriend and your mates laughing about pissing in a bottle or wetting the bed.

Don’t rush into anything ?
 
Was filmed around the time they were plugging her show. So let’s say April. 8 months. He’s doing his future self savage favours by working hard....

I’ve been on holiday for a couple of weeks and jackmaate has several podcasts up in that time in comparison.... Alfie lad, you’re a joke
 

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Srh1984 said:
Was filmed around the time they were plugging her show. So let’s say April. 8 months. He’s doing his future self savage favours by working hard....

I’ve been on holiday for a couple of weeks and jackmaate has several podcasts up in that time in comparison.... Alfie lad, you’re a joke
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Exactly! The rate he releases these pukecasts are laughable. This second one was released three weeks from the first one and all of these were filmed MONTHS ago. Not having a manager who can keep him on a strict timeline and committed to his 'projects' has obviously been going really well for him... In any other scenario, like say working in the real world, you do not get to submit your work 8 months later and give yourself a pat on the back for it. Oh and it's still not available to stream. Someone needs to tweet or send an IG comment to Alfie on what a podcast actually entails.
 
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