Zoella De Vile - Cordially Invites Pedos and Torys to Casa De Zalfe

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I don't watch the vlogs, but could the people staying with them get a taxi or uber if alfie was making them late? i barely watched his vlogs in the past and i know this is the sort of thing he does on the regular, so id have a plan B. lol. I'm not surprised they are late for everything, aren't they? at least that's the impression i always got with alfie, his utter surprise when he was on time for anything. I feel like he think's people should be honoured to be graced with his presence or smth. the tool. katie price was / is the same, turning up hrs later for engagements and finding it funny. i bet she doesn't find it funny now. btw sorely tempted to start a thread about her, as i can never get my feedback thru on the dm site!! I swear she's hired her own comment moderators. i'd love to be famous just for a heartbeat, to see how it all actually works, i know they pay for articles.

anyway i digress.

i dont think zalfie make new friends, just a collab, esp if they are youtubers too.

I had a friend who ate very limited crap for 30 years and then her health troubles hit her like a ton of bricks. she would only touch chips, pizza and crisps. and only certain crisps like onion monster munch. she blamed her mother, saying she never got her to try new foods, but damn she was an adult. Zoe has a couple of yrs left, the 30's and 40's are brutal if you haven't taken care of your health and made big errors all along the way.
 
KawaiiAF said:
I don't watch the vlogs, but could the people staying with them get a taxi or uber if alfie was making them late? i barely watched his vlogs in the past and i know this is the sort of thing he does on the regular, so id have a plan B.
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I can’t remember what happened, didn’t watch all the vlog, but a taxi or Uber to the airport could be quite expensive, airport taxis usually need to be booked in advance too. So if the original plan was Zalfie driving them, they wouldn’t have had time to make alternative arrangements
 
emmer_mo said:
What's the betting the Youngs never visit again... can't say I would blame them.

Zoe and Alfie strike me as those "kool kidz" at school who are popular and people want to please, but years later you bump into them in the supermarket and they haven't changed, and you think "thank goodness I moved on from this toxic friendship".
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Omg this is so true, like those people that never leave town and never grow up and mature meanwhile everyone goes and makes something of their lives
 
DUBAI1.jpg


  • Romantic Getaway....more like "Romantic?? Getaway Zoe!!" as told by Alfie
  • "Never flown Emirates business before" -- but you have flown first class??
  • She joked about the turbulence on the flight "You know what if we go down, I have enjoyed Emirates business" -- what a 180 from Anxiella
DUBAI2.jpg

  • She read "Why Social Media is Ruining Your Life" on the beach?? -- no Zoe, how your lies, scamming and inability to grow up is ruining your life
  • I am very confused why she is talking about Dubai being warm in Nov when she once went in December
  • They played games at dinner, instead of just chatting
  • So she filmed the dinner, close, the wide shots, then close -- so throughout their "romantic" dinner she was getting up and down to move her dumb camera around --- #CoupleGoalz
  • Alfie is very strange, on his vlog, he is very removed from Zoe, on hers he gives off lovey-dovey vibes but doesn't look directly at her-- e.g. when he's rubbing her shoulder as they walk back to the hotel
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  • The next day -- they go for food again at the hotel club restaurant -- and again they play cards whilst waiting -- CAN'T THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER?
  • Zoe comments about the hotel club restaurant "it's giving me Mykonos vibes" -- but, its Dubai!
  • Zoe is talking about the beach and Alfie looks so disinterested
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  • Time for fake lovey-dovey time lapse holding each other on the beach -- Alfie even comments "this time lapse is gonna be so cringe" (2nd time he has referred to their relationship as "cringe" in Dubai -- his vlog, now Zoes)
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  • "We face-timed Alfie's mum" whilst they were on the beach!!
  • She then complained about her screwed up body clock -- its only 4 hours luv!
  • They legit spent their days moving from beach to beach -- Dubai has more to offer!
  • I feel like they were forced to "visit" these beaches etc because Zoe doesn't normally describe buildings etc -- part of the contract?
  • They love slightly flaunting their "relationship" with tit like this -- because holding hands for their young dumb fans is #CoupleGoalzzz
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  • Zoe then moans shes ill. Alfie comments she is playing Christmas music on her Ipad. Jeeezzz!!
  • "I had a really bad migraine. Signs I am really tired or getting ill" -- OR OR OR YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR DIET
  • Zoe then forces Alfie to watch Gavin and Stacey Christmas Special with her
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  • They were gonna go to the La Perle water show, but Zoe was "too ill" so Alfie went -- Alfie vlogged her some clips
  • She only added the extra part at the end of the vlog explaining how incredible the trip was because it was a #AD
  • She is doing VLOGMAS and "kicking it off with a bang"
 
Thank you @GossWhore for the well-detailed recap.

Does she really know what romance means? Romance refers to the actions and feelings of people who are in love, especially behavior which is very caring or affectionate. This video doesn't show any of this.
Just look at Alfie's facial expression, there're no smiles and his eyes look dead.
 
For a moment, only a moment mind..I feel sorry for Alfie.
He’s a young twit.. sorry lad.
Who knows every single time he goes away with his girlfriend, they will spend the majority of the time in the bedroom, eating room service or takeaway
Watching something on line,
Scrolling on their phones, until Zoe feels sick and goes to bed.
Slightly different this time because it was a spon. She was forced to leave her pit away from home

And I suppose the Gavin and Stacy Christmas special is a change from Harry Potter.
It’s not all bad right.
 
Oohthedrama said:
For a moment, only a moment mind..I feel sorry for Alfie.
He’s a young twit.. sorry lad.
Who knows every single time he goes away with his girlfriend, they will spend the majority of the time in the bedroom, eating room service or takeaway
Watching something on line,
Scrolling on their phones, until Zoe feels sick and goes to bed.
Slightly different this time because it was a spon. She was forced to leave her pit away from home

And I suppose the Gavin and Stacy Christmas special is a change from Harry Potter.
It’s not all bad right.
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To be fair, it doesnt surprise me that much. That is what they do at home anyways and their travels are almost always sponsored, not because they want to travel, I mean, they could travel all over the world if they wanted, so their trips aren´t really important for them, they are just 'something they have to do'. For normal couples, travelling is hard, and rare, so they plan EVERYTHING to make the most out of it, but they know that they could go back whenever they wanted so I guess it is just kind of mehhh for them. Also, they are the most ignorant pair in the world, so I doubt they have interest in other cultures and so.
 
Alfie i don't feel sorry for, he's just as boring as her but he likes to blame her for holding him back.

When she went away for the weekend all he did was buy a ball pit for the lounge and ate pizza. Then sent all that plastic to landfill a few weeks later when it wasn't brand new.
 
I love Christmas. I love it even more than ZOZO BUT if I was on my jollies and whipped out Gavin & Stacey on my ipad well I know what Mr Mouse would do:

  1. Fling said IPAD in nearest pool
  2. State ardently " Mrs Mouse you are fired, have had enough of your xmas nonsense, you is on the naughty list"
  3. Go find someone in hot pants and roger her senseless (might have to pay, he's not a vlogger and doesn't have a pot to piss in)
 
everytime she goes away she makes the biggest deal about the time change and her body clock, why??? I go to turkey every year and the time zones never once crossed my mind

she also loves to let everyone know she wakes up early in the morning when at home in the uk, so why is it a big deal to be waking up half 6 abroad
 
Everywhere with a bit of sand and a bit of blue, a bit of a table next to a bit of sand is Greece. For goodness.
If I get a free trip, free hotel and free show tickets, I'll be grateful and try to go everywhere and do everything (be sick after that), especially with a bf, because HEY! You've got to appreciate such opportunity

But dear Zeella is just needy and whiny.

The design is so 2008 and that full-stop is so weird
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she forgot to stuff her bathing suit with some balloons
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just got remembered how little being-thin has to do with being attractive or hot
wasn't zoe once the "sexiest woman of the year" for some kind of men magazine?
 
I'm convinced now more than ever that they are not actually together anymore. Maybe management have told them to fake it to keep their tattered channels from imploding completely.

They remind me of vicky and david beckham, anyone who knows them tells of david having a gf and them moving on years ago, but keeping the facade as its brutally profitable. Dave barely includes vicky in anything & when he does he makes a point to look forced, uncomfortable, and not wanting to touch. She pushes the more lovey dovey image. Alfie and Zoe are identical!!

Nah I'm not buying it atm. Either it's the worst relationship on the planet, or they are split and faking it for views and ad deals like this. They both know they get these deals as a 'couple', not as single people. And these deals are lucrative and we know they worship money and will say and do anything to get as much as possible with the least amount of effort!
 
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LOL she looks absolutely flat chested in that pic!! Nothing wrong with that, we know she doesn't have big bouncing bosoms, but holy crap those totally fake boobs she's been attempting to push off as natural lately, ahaha!

(btw i have no idea if she still does it or if it was a few ones offs, i rely on ss here lol)

I don't believe she's an early riser in the Uk. I think she wakes up just before Alfie, then makes a big deal of it. When she shows herself up early, which in the past wasn't often, I feel she set her alarm, filmed in the dark, then went back to bed LOL
 
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