Zoella #5 Biological clock is knocking on door but her boyfriend has the mental age of 4

[Burritobowl]

These freaking "retreats" and the mandatory fun reminds me of Taylor Swift in her "girl gang" era, with the overproduced perfect images of TS and her celebrity friends having girls nights and all other supposedly aspirational retreats. Zoe's are like a low rent version of the Taylor ones: in both cases, they came across as control freaks who enforce FUN FUN FUN (sorry to any Taylor fans, not hating on her, just always thought all that "super cool girl gang" stuff was cringeworthy and forced).

Maybe she has been trying to morph into every girl Alfie likes; first it was Emma Watson, hence Zoe´s 'bookworm era', then it was Ariana, which may be the reason Zoe likes acting childish, after that Alfie fancied Taylor, that might be the inspiration for Zoe´s 'squad' and foreced parties.
Maybe she isn´t trying to be those girls, but subconsciously she is copying them in some way or another.
I am not saying that only Watson reads, or that Ariana is the only famous person that acts childish nor than Taylor is the only one capable of throwing parties, I just think that it is a very big coincidence, also, I know those artists are more than they stereotypes (they have true talent).

 

[Gigglez]

She is so desperate for this pathetic relationship... it is just not working. She arrives home from a work trip and Alfie drags her out to a bar with friends... to be honest we ALL know Zoe would rather snuggle up on the sofa with him (if they actually had any affection), but the only way for her to get some time with Alfie is to go along with the plans he already made upon her return.

 

[GossWhore]

They seperate the boys and girls so they don't have to communicate with eacother


Also, the I feel the car journey back Zoe probably moaned about something so Alfie did the "cute Insta bed and film" thing for her to stfu. All that effort screams problems not "awwww goals"

 

[fmmac]

If my husband and I had been on separate trips the first thing we would be doing is hitting the sheets... but not to watch Toy Story they can't make it more obvious that they are in a loveless, sexless relationship

 

[emm]

If my husband and I had been on separate trips the first thing we would be doing is hitting the sheets... but not to watch Toy Story they can't make it more obvious that they are in a loveless, sexless relationship

also how is lighting a candle and putting on a film such a big deal?!

 

[SavetheDrama]

If my husband and I had been on separate trips the first thing we would be doing is hitting the sheets... but not to watch Toy Story they can't make it more obvious that they are in a loveless, sexless relationship

Sexless doesn’t necessarily mean loveless: one of them may be asexual (or both!). Honestly it wouldn’t be surprising, considering that at their age they literally never even skirt the topic.
Bragging about your other half picking a movie and lighting a candle however is really depressing....

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

Seriously though, what are they actually gonna talk about when they post their days online on most platforms? They need to be with other people for some quality conversation. Borrrred.

 

[fmmac]

Sexless doesn’t necessarily mean loveless: one of them may be asexual (or both!). Honestly it wouldn’t be surprising, considering that at their age they literally never even skirt the topic.
Bragging about your other half picking a movie and lighting a candle however is really depressing....

Agreed, but I think in this case Alfie does not love Zoe and I think Zoe is in love with the idea of being in love (also - Alfie is the type of person that only a mother could love )

 

[Blerghhhhhh]

Wow he turned the lights out, turned the TV on and lit a candool.

That’ll make her happy and hanging on for an engagement ring for another year

 

[Hmmmjustreading]

When she has TIME.
It must be really hard to find time considering...

 

[StephenTJackson]

View attachment 25420 q When she has TIME.
It must be really hard to find time considering...

She’s retired from YouTube and Zoella Beauty/Lifestyle! She needs to get a bleeping grip! She has nothing but time! People are seeing through her crap more and more.

 

[StephenTJackson]

Article for The Cybersmile Foundation: https://www.cybersmile.org/blog/catching-up-with-zoe-sugg-to-discuss-life-online

Firstly, she could’ve cracked a proper smile for the photo. It is not a good photo, she doesn’t look healthy, she looks way older than 29, and there is no life or spark in her eyes.

Excerpt:
What does the rest of this year and next year hold for Zoella? Is there anything exciting that we should be aware of?

Lots of things! We’re always working on lots of exciting creative projects. Stay tuned for a website relaunch, some really exciting app updates and some fun collaborations to come.

That website launch has been at least a year in the making hasn’t it? I remeber the post it note mood board things talking about website relaunch. App updates, presumably this is the filter app that she has no real involvement in apart from being a funding investor to it. And collaborations, so lazy collabs like the ColourPop range rather than anything involving proper work.

 

[leigh213]

They seperate the boys and girls so they don't have to communicate with eacother


Also, the I feel the car journey back Zoe probably moaned about something so Alfie did the "cute Insta bed and film" thing for her to stfu. All that effort screams problems not "awwww goals"

Shocked he didn't bring himself up a plate of beans spilling over the edges to really set the mood.

This just reeks of desperation for people to think they're fine.

 

[BethanyGilbert]

It drives me nuts all these opportunties and money she has and she literally prides herself on being as boring as possible.

 

[SavetheDrama]

Agreed, but I think in this case Alfie does not love Zoe and I think Zoe is in love with the idea of being in love (also - Alfie is the type of person that only a mother could love )

An idea for the new thread title? Chompers only a mother could love

 

[Horatio]

Shocked he didn't bring himself up a plate of beans spilling over the edges to really set the mood.

This just reeks of desperation for people to think they're fine.

Especially when you consider how easy it must be to find a candle in zoellas house. Hardly requires lots of thought or forward planning.

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

Especially when you consider how easy it must be to find a candle in zoellas house. Hardly requires lots of thought or forward planning.

It was clearly only lit for the gram then it will have bin blown out and they’ll have rolled over and gone to sleep cos she gets up at 5am for a laugh?

Can’t stand their fakeness.

 

[Bananana]

She must've had a boob job, not trying to be a creep or anything but they definitely look bigger and there's no extremely padded bra!

 

[electricmallows]

She must've had a boob job, not trying to be a creep or anything but they definitely look bigger and there's no extremely padded bra!

Oh my Lord That top is so unflattering. It looks like she put a travel neck pillow where her boobs are supposed to be

 

[GossWhore]

She must've had a boob job, not trying to be a creep or anything but they definitely look bigger and there's no extremely padded bra!

You know there's apps that can edit your boobs bigger?

Because side profile they don't look big