UK Literary Luvvies #2 Vital reading

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queenamber said:
She baffles me because she's clearly highly therapised (is that even a word?) and seems to be emotionally intelligent but this is obviously a huge blindspot for her. She has such a fulfilling life (for instance, I'm jealous of her close friendships) yet seems to focus on what is missing. I also think she wants a baby rather than to be a parent. She is a step-mother to 3 children and clearly this hasn't satisfied her enough.
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Yes completely agree - it seems like the one area that therapy hasn't really touched for her yet.
You can't control how other people are going to talk about their kids, how they will need to bring them to the pub when the babysitte cancels, how they will post the cute photos on insta.
A poster above mentions that you will likely always feel sad about this, that's the nature of grief. But you can choose to respond to your grief in so many different ways. Writing a whole book berating mums for talking about their joy in their children is borderline delusional.
 
SharkAttack said:
This makes me wonder if she has a full-time nanny (or two), because anyone who's had a beach holiday with children knows that your attempts to read by the pool are endlessly interrupted by checking the children haven't drowned, admiring their diving skills, judging swimming races, and then having to get in and splash with them/get them out and dressed and warmed up when they've had enough. You just can't read eg Dickens when all that's going on. Unless you have full-on childcare, of course.
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And a haircut
 
stealthbtch said:
Oh dear. A Times columnist has once again mentioned Tattle Life: https://archive.ph/ZfNlv
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There is a particularly awful corner of this website which is horrendous and I never engage in, I’ve seen some truly hateful stuff. I do, however, think there are benefits of having a place where people can discuss whether they think someone on a public platform is benefiting (mainly financially) from selling something disingenuous to its audience - especially if it makes you feel a certain way
 
Mermaid456 said:
There is a particularly awful corner of this website which is horrendous and I never engage in, I’ve seen some truly hateful stuff. I do, however, think there are benefits of having a place where people can discuss whether they think someone on a public platform is benefiting (mainly financially) from selling something disingenuous to its audience - especially if it makes you feel a certain way
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Agreed. Some truly heinous hate filled threads. But tattle can also be a huge source of advice and support in a way I never expected. And there are a lot of threads that are just genuine and fair critiques.
 
Carapop said:
Agreed. Some truly heinous hate filled threads. But tattle can also be a huge source of advice and support in a way I never expected. And there are a lot of threads that are just genuine and fair critiques.
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Which threads are these? (Not doubting you at all, I only go on a few threads which are bitchy, but never seen anything awful, and I’m sort of tempted to have a look at just how bad things can be here)
 
depository said:
Which threads are these? (Not doubting you at all, I only go on a few threads which are bitchy, but never seen anything awful, and I’m sort of tempted to have a look at just how bad things can be here)
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It was ages ago when I first joined - people being quite viscous about that cleaning influencer whose name I can’t remember, and others I can’t remember - just the vibe was unnecessarily mean! I only look on a few threads now 😊
 
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depository said:
Which threads are these? (Not doubting you at all, I only go on a few threads which are bitchy, but never seen anything awful, and I’m sort of tempted to have a look at just how bad things can be here)
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A lot of the influencer threads seem jam packed of people who just love to hate. I don’t really understand it as most of these social media sorts are so easily avoided. I had a gander around when I first joined and was rather horrified. It’s not too hard find them if you have a look around but I avoid most now. I was disappointed when celeb gossip took a dark turn a few wks ago with the bbc scandal and then huw edwards chat.
 
peachplumpear said:
I've often wondered how this person got a column, given her life isn't interesting enough to warrant one based on content, and her writing isn't good enough to warrant one based on style.
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I have often wondered this too. Didn't she have a fling with some MP?

My guess is she's related to someone at the Times, India Knight style. Her dreary, inane and predictable style of writing really isn't good enough for her to have been offered the job without some sort of connection. So unfair on good writers who DON'T have the links.
 
SharkAttack said:
I have often wondered this too. Didn't she have a fling with some MP?

My guess is she's related to someone at the Times, India Knight style. Her dreary, inane and predictable style of writing really isn't good enough for her to have been offered the job without some sort of connection. So unfair on good writers who DON'T have the links.
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Her Glastonbury coverage was frustratingly bad
 
Mermaid456 said:
It was ages ago when I first joined - people being quite viscous about that cleaning influencer whose name I can’t remember, and others I can’t remember - just the vibe was unnecessarily mean! I only look on a few threads now 😊
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Mrs Hinch. She has 659 threads and the level of scrutiny is insane. Tattle was only created in late 2018 so that’s about two and a half threads a week and each thread comprises of a thousand posts. 😳

Jack Monroe has 533 threads, The Chateau Diaries have 259 and Part Time Working Mummy has 187. It’s full on forensic detective work.

That some accounts have over a hundred threads plus a detailed wiki is astonishing, but I suppose Tattle drives huge traffic to these accounts, too.
 
Libertine said:
Mrs Hinch. She has 659 threads and the level of scrutiny is insane. Tattle was only created in late 2018 so that’s about two and a half threads a week and each thread comprises of a thousand posts. 😳

Jack Monroe has 533 threads, The Chateau Diaries have 259 and Part Time Working Mummy has 187. It’s full on forensic detective work.

That some accounts have over a hundred threads plus a detailed wiki is astonishing, but I suppose Tattle drives huge traffic to these accounts, too.
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Yes! These are the ones, absolutely insane. I come on here for places like the topshop thread discussing the quality of the high street and breathable fabrics vs polyester 😂😂😂
 
queenamber said:
She baffles me because she's clearly highly therapised (is that even a word?) and seems to be emotionally intelligent but this is obviously a huge blindspot for her. She has such a fulfilling life (for instance, I'm jealous of her close friendships) yet seems to focus on what is missing. I also think she wants a baby rather than to be a parent. She is a step-mother to 3 children and clearly this hasn't satisfied her enough.
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I think women like ED who have grown up with massive privilege: wealth, private education, Oxbridge, told that they can achieve absolutely anything they want in life and then go on to do exactly that (also, unsurprisingly, aren’t usually able to acknowledge that their privilege and connections are the things that open doors for them, not necessarily sheer hard work and talent) find it incredibly difficult to accept that, for the first time in their lives, there is something that they can’t achieve and there’s nothing they can do about it. I say “achieve” rather than “have” because there’s a certain subset of highly educated woman who views motherhood as one more thing they can absolutely excel at.

Although infertility is desperately hard for any woman, it must be such a kick in the teeth for ED because she’s never really had to confront a closed door of this scale before. I suspect that’s the reason why she can’t appreciate what she does have over what she doesn’t, and why “failure” has become her personal brand.
 
smartalec said:
Has she said that she does not want to be a stepmum/adopt? Feel like it’s been a while since a vague reference to ivf
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Not sure I’ve ever heard her talk about adopting but she did strongly imply she didn’t have a good step-parent experience in her first marriage, although it is better in her current one.

She said on a recent ep of Best Friend Therapy that she had “come to the end” of her fertility journey. She also said that she is “at peace” with that which I hope is true.
 
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