TheLongMum #4 Charity shops, coffee hops, northern kn*bs, anything that makes the parenting stop

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I’ve stuck up for her in the past. This though, this isn’t good. Reading all the parenting psychology on Instagram clearly isn’t helping, looking for any insight on Instagram is part of the problem I feel as well. If she thinks she’s neurodiverse, hasn’t she thought her eldest is as well and that’s where the struggles are? I can’t imagine how those kids feel with their Mum screaming, shouting, swearing and pinging plates around the place. It’s really not healthy, at all.

I’m a solo parent with a 5 year old, 44 this year, permanently skint and tired, living back where I lived when I was an unhappy teenager and probably perimenopausal. My life is very different to what it was when I was living a fabulous life in London. It’s not our kids faults though. They’re here right now, needing us, watching us as their role models. Harking back to a past life when we were different people doesn’t change anything. There needs to be some acceptance about what life is now. I hope this is a turning point and she seeks helps or someone steps in and does it for her. What an admission 😐
 
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There'll be a knock on the door from social services if this gets reported, which it will, enough mums on the school run will have seen those stories and I hope to god one of them reports it to the school or the authorities. This behaviour is unforgivable. In one breath telling us how Violet is going through some stuff and she feels terrible that it might be her fault, then shortly after apparently she's throwing plates of food and screaming in her face. She in unhinged and needs help.
 
I’ve not looked at her content this week. It just makes me sad for the kids and angry at her. Does the kid’s dad look at her social media? If she clearly isn’t coping and he’s aware, he should be doing something.

If she’s throwing plates and screaming, that probably is a red flag. Someone does need to contact either the child services team or their father and get her some help. I’m not kidding when I say the next step is her physically hitting a child because she’s angry and irrational and not in a good way and it’ll happen before she realises and is able to think clearly.

If the child tells school, they’ll also probably trigger some sort of intervention.

She really needs help. She shouldn’t have those kids with her right now if she can’t cope, which clearly she can’t.
 
Didn’t expect anything less
 

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I feel like "dysregulated" is part of the ADHD symptom dropping. She's said "a girl can dream" re getting ADHD meds, makes me wonder if she is truly holding herself accountable for her own behaviour? I get the sense that she justifies her behaviour to herself as not her fault because no one has given her a diagnosis and meds.
What if she gets the medication and it’s not a magic cure and she still gets angry and shouts and throws things, what then?
But here’s her back up excuses- her period is due, she doesn’t have a boyfriend to queue at the beer tent for her (why do you need beer while out with your kids Anna?).
If a new boyfriend and a pile of money and adhd meds landed in Anna’s lap today would she really be happy or would she find something else wrong to blame things on?
 
Of course she deleted them. She’s also posted this, and she literally says she doesn’t know why she bought it because she can’t even fit into it. Why the duck is she just spunking money up the wall, yet moans that her kid (who she treats awfully) wants something for her birthday?
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Bunbun1 said:
I feel like "dysregulated" is part of the ADHD symptom dropping. She's said "a girl can dream" re getting ADHD meds, makes me wonder if she is truly holding herself accountable for her own behaviour? I get the sense that she justifies her behaviour to herself as not her fault because no one has given her a diagnosis and meds.
What if she gets the medication and it’s not a magic cure and she still gets angry and shouts and throws things, what then?
But here’s her back up excuses- her period is due, she doesn’t have a boyfriend to queue at the beer tent for her (why do you need beer while out with your kids Anna?).
If a new boyfriend and a pile of money and adhd meds landed in Anna’s lap today would she really be happy or would she find something else wrong to blame things on?
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She ADHD symptom drops all the time. It’s infuriating. Maybe she DOES have ADHD but even so, it’s not an excuse. I have ADHD myself and if I behaved the way she does then I’d be given a very stern talking to by those around me. I don’t take meds but I undertake CBT and actively work on methods and strategies to help me cope with things I find difficult. If Anna is so convinced she has ADHD then meds aren’t going to “cure” her, she needs to put in some real work herself. Why doesn’t she spend some time researching ADHD non medicated coping strategies and techniques, and put those into place? Rather than just declaring it’s all the mean and nasty doctor’s fault because they won’t give her the magic pills that will fix everything for her
 

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My eldest has (diagnosed) ADHD and using medications - and they do not fix everything. They help them focus enough to listen to lectures, or cope with small annoyances, until they wear off. That is it, the rest they need to work hard to try and find measures to counterbalance all their other behaviours and traits.
 
I've just messaged Persil too. If they'd seen those stories she would have been dropped like a stone and rightly so, and I feel like it was sneaky and dishonourable to delete them right before posting ad work. I can't believe she's even in the right headspace to post ads after what sounds like a horrific experience at home last night. I would still be crying in a corner.
 
JellyDonut said:
Not sure if these have uploaded in the correct order. But oh my bleeping god, Anna you absolute bleep. As someone with ADHD who also has children, I couldn’t imagine treating them like that. Don’t use your self diagnosed ADHD as an excuse for you being a crappy parent. duck off do you need support, your ex has them regularly and they go to school/childminders. You have only JUST started working 2 days a week. You have more free time than most. You don’t need more support. You need to stop prioritising cock and wanking and shopping and fluffing and pouting for Instagram and actually be a mother to your kids. Jesus bleeping Christ almighty. I’m disgusted.
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Right!!! We are a family of adhd and asd, none of us have ever thrown a plate across the room, certainly not the adults. One of my children regularly has meltdowns over the food served, I’d never react like that.
 
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