Sali Hughes #9 I put myself online and people had opinions

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Thank you all. It’s so hard. I actually do think I’m going mad, but funnily enough, only when I’m at home. When I’m working or with friends, I am ‘me’ again. Does that make sense?
@Moe please may I use you as a sounding board?

And can I just say, Dawn is everything that Sally aspires to be. Effortlessly chic, while at the same time being so very self aware and unegotistical (that’s not a word, I’ve just made it up).
Sally, take note would ya?
 
PopperDops said:
Thank you all. It’s so hard. I actually do think I’m going mad, but funnily enough, only when I’m at home. When I’m working or with friends, I am ‘me’ again. Does that make sense?
@Moe please may I use you as a sounding board?

And can I just say, Dawn is everything that Sally aspires to be. Effortlessly chic, while at the same time being so very self aware and unegotistical (that’s not a word, I’ve just made it up).
Sally, take note would ya?
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Ugh @PopperDops sounds awful. Wtaf is wrong with some people? I was in a marriage that was like that, am now with someone else and still can't quite get used to accepting the former wasn't normal. Explaining myself, accounting for my movements, thinking I was forgetting things and getting stuff wrong. You aren't going mad - they are arch manipulators and make it all seem normal. And yes DM people here. Please take care. X
 
I’ve been wondering about how the whole structure of Instagram plays into the ego mania of those people who worship at its shrine by ONLY encouraging likes. Because the only option is to LIKE a post the posters have the impression they’re constantly approved of by large numbers so that any comments that are not wholly (slavishly) positive they react as if stung. But in real life you don’t get this wholesale applause for every little thing you do and say and so perhaps real life starts to feel harsh, judgemental and critical. They find being coddled in the approval of strangers far more satisfying than life outside the “little squares.”

they start to really believe they are this adored version of themselves, hence Sali’s freaky Friday videos, Caroline Hiron’s ludicrously aggressive attitude, for example.
I dread to think what it’s actually doing to real life relationships like those between MOD and FOD. And when you only allow praise and never critique you quite quickly become a monster who believes that anyone who doesn’t love you is actually mad...
 
Jugglegirl said:
I’ve been wondering about how the whole structure of Instagram plays into the ego mania of those people who worship at its shrine by ONLY encouraging likes. Because the only option is to LIKE a post the posters have the impression they’re constantly approved of by large numbers so that any comments that are not wholly (slavishly) positive they react as if stung. But in real life you don’t get this wholesale applause for every little thing you do and say and so perhaps real life starts to feel harsh, judgemental and critical. They find being coddled in the approval of strangers far more satisfying than life outside the “little squares.”

they start to really believe they are this adored version of themselves, hence Sali’s freaky Friday videos, Caroline Hiron’s ludicrously aggressive attitude, for example.
I dread to think what it’s actually doing to real life relationships like those between MOD and FOD. And when you only allow praise and never critique you quite quickly become a monster who believes that anyone who doesn’t love you is actually mad...
Click to expand...
So right - they want to live in the the ultimate neatly curated echo chamber. Anyone that has the temerity to poke their heads above the parapet and mildly say 'er actually I don't agree' is a TROLL, BULLY, MENTALLY SUBNORMAL. How the duck can that be healthy?
 
PopperDops said:
Thank you all. It’s so hard. I actually do think I’m going mad, but funnily enough, only when I’m at home. When I’m working or with friends, I am ‘me’ again. Does that make sense?
@Moe please may I use you as a sounding board?

And can I just say, Dawn is everything that Sally aspires to be. Effortlessly chic, while at the same time being so very self aware and unegotistical (that’s not a word, I’ve just made it up).
Sally, take note would ya?
Click to expand...
I don't really have anything to add to what others have said but I've been through it too and am out the other side. I didn't realise I'd been in a controlling relationship until 10 years after we split up. Luckily(?!) he had an affair so that ended our marriage but i hadnt realised what was happening until I went to a talk about coercive control.

There's nothing positive about your situation but I think that the fact you have recognised what's happening and are taking action is incredible. As the others have said, we are here - often from 5am ;)
 
If you think about how addictive social media is for just ‘normal’ users of it, then can only imagine what it becomes to people for whom their online persona is their career. Particularly those whose career grew from overuse of it in the first place (vs another outlet for an existing career).

ETA - this is probably more relevant to the MOFOD thread but thought of it from the above conversation!
 
I’m not great at offering advice in these situations as I have been through it myself (and am still working my way through the emotional wreckage I have been left with), but I just wanted to support the kind words left by others, @PopperDops.

I have zero objections to your talking / offloading onto us, in fact I positively encourage it. Please don’t suffer in silence and do reach out if you need to.

Sending you love and kind wishes xx
 
Sorry for detailing the thread with superficial crap, but can anyone name this red lip colour for me please? It’s stunning and I want it!! (Maybelline have, thus far, ignored my pleas for help!)

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GTL Old-Timer said:
Sorry for detailing the thread with superficial crap, but can anyone name this red lip colour for me please? It’s stunning and I want it!! (Maybelline have, thus far, ignored my pleas for help!)
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Please remember that when makeup companies do makeup for photographs they often use the products of other companies. That is why consumers buy products they believe have been used in a photo, and then wonder when they apply them that they look completely different.
 
I’m just jumping in as I see perfume!!! I’ll finish the thread after I post ;)

I have a few TF... Soleil Blanc, Eau de Soleil Blanc, Neroli portofino, but my absolute favourite (& the most eye wateringly expensive) is Lost Cherry! Omg I never want to smell anything else again! It lasts forever, thank f*ck! If you smell it & fall in love, John Lewis & Fenwick have it in their price matches every now & then.

mad you were... I’m off to keep reading
 
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