Ruby Granger #47 Self Learning at the University of Roobs, Manor campus

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Rumpster is back to show us her "favorite autumnal things to do".

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why the duck did she make this face and then decided to include it 😂
 
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sunniva said:
Guys it triggers me so much when she says ‘’up to London’’ when she lives geographically north of London. I know it’s a turn of phrase but it sounds idiotic to me.
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Where abouts is she? I've always just assumed she's a Surrey girl..!!
 
sunniva said:
Buckinghamshire 🫣
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Thank you! That makes a lot more sense, re. how she can keep going to Oxford for library visits lol

And you're absolutely right- I'd say traveling down/across to London, depending on where abouts in Buckinghamshire she is
 
sunniva said:
Errrrmm in the north we definitely say down to London 😉
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Some might but some don't (I'm from the N West - Liverpool to be precise). But I'm probably older which may influence the use of the expressions 'up to London' and 'down to the country'. It derives from the railways - all lines to London are 'up lines' so from the Victorian era on people spoke of going up to London whether coming from North or South. Anyway, Ruby is not wrong to use the expression
 
Favourite moment. When Blakeney disappeared on the moors and hid in a cave to get away from Ruby!

Her mother really didn't look like she was enjoying having to be with Ruby during this day in London. She looked a bit peeved whenever Ruby had the camera on her, bored and distracted. I am sure she is getting sick of driving her adult child around, especially when the younger daughter already drives and has her own wheels.

I also felt like the constant giggling Ruby was doing when with Blakeney was more of a nervous habit than actual joy. The more time you spend apart, the more you grow apart, especially at that age. Blakeney has her own friends and future to sculpt. She should really leave off hanging around Ruby.

The claw is back, in full force.

Wtf is up with those little clips in her hair?

Pleading face while looking at a book? Why? She is an adult, she has money. You want it, buy it. What is the problem? Drama queen.

The angst over not being able to find a nice smelling anti-bacterial gel at the store was just so stupid. It is a staple now, like tissues. Get the freaking stuff and move on. Don't vlog and act all wacky because you can't find the right aisle. That is because you are both idiots, not because they don't carry it. My God, the Bones females are pathetic.

Just another useless vlog, as usual.
 
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Ruby has subjected us to another week in her life - not just any week, but a bookish week.

It's Monday and performative poverty strikes again! Ruby pulls a pauper face while shopping with mummy in London and moans that she wishes she could buy a book, while holding up the price tag to show it's prohibitively expensive at...£15.

Reminder: Ruby is a wealthy influencer with rich, tax-dodging parents. She goes on 10-20 holidays a year. She's also a landlord who pays no rent while living in her parents' manor home. She could buy every book on those shelves if she wanted and would not notice the money had gone. She just doesn't want to buy books because she doesn't read books, yet thinks pretending she can't afford things makes her relatable.

The irony of this being a "bookish" week and Ruby finding the least believable excuse to avoid buying books? Off the charts.

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"WE DASPRATELY NEEDED HAND SANITOIZAH!" Ruby says as they try once again desperately and futilely to convince people that they're both JANUINELY obsessive about cleanliness and not just swampy goblins.

Ruby probably assumes everyone else has the same goldfish-level attention span as she does and hopes we all forgot that she spent the pandemic running around trying to catch the Coronavirus in her mouth like falling snowflakes, that her mummy wrote blogs about how she regularly jams her hands in the dog tit which she stores in her pockets on walks, or that their house is a dusty shrine to germs and filth.

Ruby complains that this particular hand sanitiser "doesn't sound like it smells very nice". Ruby apparently has synesthesia now. Later she'll probably complain that the bath soap is being too loud. I'm kidding, obviously. This family doesn't use soap.

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We're then treated to a dismal collection of badly-edited mess. Random snippets of footage where nothing can be seen or heard but the abrasive, sounds of choppily-cut clips of rain blasting the mic. A random, context-free clip of Ruby's mum shouting "DAVID COPPERFIELD, THAT'S WHO I WAS THINKING OF!" Clips veering back and forth between widescreen and portrait-view footage. It's a total tit-show. And, naturally, it's a sponsored video - this is the kind of quality that Ruby believes she deserves to charge money for.

Ruby cuts the umbilical cord for 10 minutes and goes on a solo excursion to see the CWORALOINE AGZIBIT. Meanwhile, Mummy Granger likely stumbled off in search of a glass of wine or six.

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It's Wednesday (Tuesday is MIA) and Ruby's pretending she has a full-time 9-5 grown-up job again and not just a "show up for a few hours whenever you can be arsed" nepo job at her old private school.

Ruby complains that she slept through her alarm. "Syo...Oiy've only gyot loike...EIGHT MINUTES until...(awkwardly looks around the house for someone)...my liftshare arroives." It's her mum. The "liftshare" is her mum.

Back on her ED bullshit, Ruby shows a "breakfast" of sloppy sludge with a tiny handful of Cheerios and frozen peas thrown in:

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It isn't even a full bowl. You can see that she's just put in enough of this slop to lightly coat the bottom and that's it.

After the horrible sounds of Ruby slurping and chewing random filth, she's off to "waahrk".

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And then she's back, claiming she's reading "Insumniac Dreams" - it's "about the dream jarrnal that Nabberkoff CRAPPED". Sounds messy.

Ruby heads out with mummy to enjoy the remaining several hours of daylight that JANUINELY exist after 5pm in England in October.

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Ruby makes mummy take her to a children's park, because she's beyond parody at this point.

They roam local shops and when they're done, it's still broad daylight out.

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Hours after she HONNASTLEEEEE "finished work at 5pm" and the sun's finally going down. Scientists need to investigate whatever meteorological anomalies are happening in Buckinghamshire. This area of infinite daylight may be an untapped source of solar energy.

Ruby complains that because she slept through her alarm - WHICH HAS JANUINELY NAVVAR HAPPANED BAFWORE! - her room is a mess. Sure, Ruby, that's why. Her room looks the same as it always does and she hasn't changed her sheets in like 2 months.

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Ruby claims she's going to do lots of "ADDITTING" for two videos with the rest of this supernaturally long day. Judging by the state of the editing in this video and all others, I don't buy it. Her poker tell squint comes out when she says it. But it makes her sound impressively busy to gullible fans if she claims to be wahrrrrking and additing and YeeCheebing and waaarking on admin whaaahhhrrrrrk bafrwore wahrrking at waahrk, so of course she lies about it.

She'll also be "HAVING A CORRIE" and watching something with her family. She says she hopes it's "SHARRLOCK" and claims she and her dad are "really hoping to watch it". Does she understand how television shows work in the 21st Century? Is she waiting for a permission note from mummy? Is she fishing for another BBC sponsorship before she'll allow herself to pretend she watched it? Aging layabouts with infinite free time pretending to be TWALVE YAAHRR OLDS aren't allowed to pick the shows they watch, apparently.

Ruby plugs Skillshare and her own atrocious Skillshare course on "commonplacing". She claims commonplacing has been a game-changer for her and something all "great minds" use. 😂😂😂

She, yet again, fails to explain how using a commonplace book has helped her in any way. Nor does she give any example of these magical links she claims will appear between all the copied Goodreads quotes from books she hasn't read that she tossed in a notebook. Literally zero explanation. Ruby implies all will become clear if you sign up for the course. I watched the course and it didn't shed any light on anything at all, other than Ruby/Martha's complete lack of editing ability. It's no shock that she lie-squints her way through this whole ad section.

Ruby mentions that she will put some notes in her "commonplace bock" while she's reading "Nabbakoff's Cheems".

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Thursday is upon us. Ruby holds up a stack of borrowed library books. That's Thursday done.

Hilariously, it's just a mix of children's books, barely-disguised ads (one is a book illustrated by Chris Riddell, who Ruby hasn't stopped shilling since he replied to her fan letter and gave her some free merch) and a book called 'Steal Like an Artist' which I'm guessing Ruby thought was an instructional manual on plagiarism.

Friday and Saturday have also vanished along with Tuesday. This book is titled 'Bookish Week in My Life' and most of the "week" is unaccounted for.

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It's Sunday, the last day of the week, but there's still half the video to go. Hmm.

Ruby's off to Yorkshaaahr with haaahr BASST FRAND BLAKENEEEEEEY.

Self-proclaimed "great mind" Ruby still hasn't realised that it's not a good idea to lean out of moving trains.

They catch a train, check out their hotel room, bounce on the bed and that's all she wrote for Sunday.

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Ruby makes sure to mention (big surprise) that the place they went to for dinner had AMAZING VEEEGANNNN OPTIONS. I'm not sure why the vegan options would matter to Ruby, who regularly eats non-vegan foods, regularly uses products made from or tested on animals and loves to buy herself leather bags and leather shoes.

But fake veganism is part of the brand, so she'll predictably mention "the great vegan options" in vlogs while making plans for her next holiday overseas with daddy, probably to poach a rhino.

Then it's the following Monday and I don't think Ruby understands how weeks work. This is now the second week in this 'week in my life' vlog. In true Ruby fashion, Ruby goes on a scenic holiday and manages to make it look like the most boring place on Earth. They wander fields and pretend to read poetry and somehow all these holiday vlogs she makes feel identical.

It doesn't help that she already made this video a year ago:

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The shoddy editing continues as Ruby/Martha didn't bother trimming footage of Ruby and Blakeney prepping to do a staged 'walk away from camera' shot:



You can see them awkwardly find their marks, try to get their timing right before VARRY NACHRALLY walk away.

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They must've filmed a handful of these 'walk away from camera, twirl whimsically and smile at camera' shots, but rather than choose the best (or least tit) one, Ruby just left them all in. There's literally an unintended montage of 'fake whimsy' back-to-back shots of Ruby and/or Blakeney waking away from camera, twirling, then smiling at camera. It's the height of cringe.

More footage is kept in with the horrible sounds of wind smashing the hell out of the mic. Nothing's being said and there's music slapped on it as well, so there was no reason not to remove the source audio of wind, other than sheer incompetence. Par for the course.

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AND THAN SHE WAS VARRY KOINDLEEE invited to go to the Bronte parsonage archive. This HONNASTLLEEEEE happened. Some local historians just saw Ruby and HAHRR BASST FRAND BLAKENEEEEEEEY eating sad carrots on a bench and said, "Oi there! You look like the sort of well-travelled, highly-cultured sort who'd love a gander at the Bronte parsonage museum!"

Ruby then probably shouted, "OH YASS, OIY LOVE PARSONAGES! I'M JANUINELY VARRY MOCH A VEEGAN, AHHFTA AWHLL! OIY DYEU LOFF A GYUD PARSONAGE SYOUP FWORE DINNER!"

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It's then CHEESEDAY of the second week of this "week in my life" vlog. It's practically a repeat of Monday though, as Ruby and HAHRRRR BASSSST FRANNNDDDD BLAKENEEEEEEEYYYYYY go for another walk on the moors to pretend to read. Again.


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When Ruby's back is turned, Blakeney runs off to hide in a cave. Sadly for her, Ruby hears the scent of cleaning products on the wind and tracks her down. Better luck next time, Blakers.

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Then Ruby's off to the see the PARSONS at theeee BRAUNTAY PARSONAGE. She can't seem to decide which lie she wants to tell, so she veers from painting this museum visit as something they were spontaneously invited to after they got there and the pre-arranged reason they went to begin with.

THIS WAS JANUINELY NWOT AN ONDECLAAAAHRD GIFTED TRIP THYOUGH, HONNASTLEEEEEEEEEE! (Squints dishonestly.)
 
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