One Day of Winter #2 Slop for dinner, nips on tap, Dads not allowed to help with naps!

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The post on Facebook for those who can’t see. Sounds like ember is still the second thought, makes me so sad.

(thought I’d left the group but turns out I just had it on mute)
 
sassmaster3000 said:
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The post on Facebook for those who can’t see. Sounds like ember is still the second thought, makes me so sad.

(thought I’d left the group but turns out I just had it on mute)
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This all just sounds like chaos. If it’s not working a stressing her out surely that’s a sign to stop feeding R. Feeding the newborn should be priority! Raven eats plenty of food she doesn’t NEED milk at this age 🤦🏻‍♀️ She can be settled in other ways at this age. If the newborn is crying for milk then feed her! What if E is going through a leap and wants to feed continuously... And she carried the 3 1/2 year old up to bed just days after giving birth 😳 Surely Dean would say wise up I’ll carry her 🤷🏻‍♀️ Would love to see what people replied to her post with...
 
Feel sorry for Dean. It must be hard to be pied off by R all the time through no fault of his own, Nicola has made it like that. R needs some clear boundaries setting, is she nursing more as a way of getting attention on her? I didn’t nurse mine over 6 weeks (not through choice) so I don’t know enough to judge. However, my eldest did a lot of attention seeking when my youngest was born and although I was sympathetic to his needs and made sure he didn’t feel left out etc, I also had to set some clear boundaries
 
Wow that whole Facebook post is so strange. As I said previously I advocate for going for short walks and moments of fresh air and such but to be carrying a 3.5 Yr old up to bed 5 days PP is quite honestly shocking.
I can't honestly believe E was crying while she nursed R back to sleep. She needs to make some quick changes, which will be rough but needs to be done whilst Dean is at home to support her before she has an actual breakdown when she is alone.
I'm in shock over that post.
 
That post is ridiculous. What the hell does she expect people to say? She point blank shouldn’t be leaving her newborn crying for food in another part of the house so she can settle her nearly 4 year old ‘back to sleep’. It’s neglect. Has she never thought oh maybe if Raven went to sleep initially in a bed ‘the sleep space’ whatever, she would stay asleep and not be woken during a pointless transfer? If I didn’t know better it seems to me Nicola loves all the ‘mamas I need your help, here’s a photo of my norks’ and the ‘you do you mama’ validation. It makes my teeth itch, she’s making problems where there don’t need to be any. Stevie wonder could see how to solve this - TELL YOUR 3.5 YEAR OLD NO AND GO TO SLEEP.
 
R really needs a routine and her own bed. Anyone could see this dysfunctional setup wouldn’t work when the baby came along. She should have been getting R ready for this before the baby arrived. There is absolutely nothing wrong with boundaries and routine. In fact this is how children thrive and feel secure in their little worlds, especially when a new sibling arrives and everything changes.
 
Peanut0205 said:
That post is ridiculous. What the hell does she expect people to say? She point blank shouldn’t be leaving her newborn crying for food in another part of the house so she can settle her nearly 4 year old ‘back to sleep’. It’s neglect. Has she never thought oh maybe if Raven went to sleep initially in a bed ‘the sleep space’ whatever, she would stay asleep and not be woken during a pointless transfer? If I didn’t know better it seems to me Nicola loves all the ‘mamas I need your help, here’s a photo of my norks’ and the ‘you do you mama’ validation. It makes my teeth itch, she’s making problems where there don’t need to be any. Stevie wonder could see how to solve this - TELL YOUR 3.5 YEAR OLD NO AND GO TO SLEEP.
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I thought the same when I read this, how can she think it’s acceptable to sort out Queen Raven when her bloody newborn is screaming downstairs because she’s hungry. bleeping ridiculous! Yet again, Raven comes first. I don’t understand why she’s had another child if she’s just going to put Raven first constantly, it is neglectful. Im sure she won’t get comments calling her out on this though. Dean should be taking Raven and settling her to sleep, let her have a bloody meltdown, she needs to realise the whole world doesn’t revolve around her.
 
I feel awful saying this as I know there is nothing wrong with. 3.5 y still feeding if they want to but it actually makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and almost sick...for poor baby ember that raven who had stopped night feeding, is now wanting milk all night.

Pea must be absolutely exhausted.

It is ridiculous that raven rules the roost....absolutely ridiculous. Pea must be so exhausted and always will be if no one else can ever tend to Raven

P.s love queen raven it is very fitting
 
‘Would absolutely not accept this from dad’ I think this is the biggest problem. Every time Raven has pushed Dean away (not letting him sit in the same room as her - wasn’t it? 😳) Nicola has facilitated that and not told her to pack it in. So now she knows if she kicks up enough of a fuss, she’ll get her way and Nicola will come to her.

I don’t think she’s a bad mum or doing a bad job, she just had this crunchy tandem feeding dream in her head and in reality - it just doesn’t work.

Nicola was always so smug about Raven never having had a sleepover, feeding her to sleep every night of her life - and now look at the mess they’re in. I can’t even think of how it could be sorted if Raven refuses to be near her own dad, be interested to see what suggestions the fellow crunchies come out with 😰
 
Maryberry said:
Surely Raven wil have eaten food during the day so her wanted milk is just a want , where as the baby actually needs milk to grow and thrive !
I don’t understand how pea can’t see this .
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Yes but pea will just spout on about how breastfeeding isn't just for nutrition and how there are soooo many other benefits to extended breastfeeding. I can't see any benefits currently to what she's doing if I'm honest.
 
You know what I’d be doing also, making Raven aware of Ember’s needs and explaining that Ember is crying because she NEEDS Mummy. Empathy etc. can all be taught/experienced in this situation, but Raven really needs to know that her baby sister is first in the line when it comes to feeding. Give Raven a cup of milk if she really has to have milk (which we know she doesn’t) and prioritise.
 
Clementine said:
You know what I’d be doing also, making Raven aware of Ember’s needs and explaining that Ember is crying because she NEEDS Mummy. Empathy etc. can all be taught/experienced in this situation, but Raven really needs to know that her baby sister is first in the line when it comes to feeding. Given Raven a cup of milk if she really has to have milk (which we know she doesn’t) and prioritise.
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you need to get yourself in this group to provide this solution!
it really seems like they didn’t prepare r enough for the arrival of sibling and now everyone is suffering 😢
 
Smiffy1990 said:
Yes but pea will just spout on about how breastfeeding isn't just for nutrition and how there are soooo many other benefits to extended breastfeeding. I can't see any benefits currently to what she's doing if I'm honest.
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I agree. And even if there are some benefits to what they are doing...they surely massively outweigh the impact it is having on every other member of Queen raven's household
 
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