do we have any qualified therapists in this forum willing to reach out to nims?
glad she's escaped but this lady needs an intervention stat
I don’t have my license active so I never wrote from a professional point but I know people have reached out, and I felt it was more personal since I did escape a terrible abusive relationship in my 20’s, put in the WORK as to why I would fall for a psychopath (I Do not formally diagnose her ex, this was just mine) and mend the trauma that came with it, and came out so strong, finding myself first and then having standards so high that frankly left me single for a long time until I found the most wonderful, kind, amazing man the world. My pic some of our wedding flowers a couple years ago.
I didn’t share that experience except sharing I had been there and actually wrote her a well written and very heartfelt message to her months ago after she had gotten back to him detailing that having followed her since she started, I cannot stay silent at getting back with a toxic, and what I can see is an abusive, manipulative partner. That I had been in one and then tailored it to her spiritual nature describing what we deserve etc and pointing out some disturbing warning signs and practices she has gone along with with him. I am not a good writer this morning due to zero sleep so I am sorry I can’t describe that well what I said, but I was hoping it might mean something but I deleted it after she saw it and unfollowed her until I heard the good news. She never responded but she never blocked me which I was shocked by.
I am in no way saying I had anything to do with this, I just know that there were people that reached out to her qualified in either experience or practice and education. Even people that can just see what she couldn’t are helpful and I know she saw those. I suggested she find the best therapist money can buy that specializes in women leaving toxic or abusive partners and shared my experience with that and how great it was including book recommendation, which sometimes help first before a person leaves.
But as much as I am elated she left him…she has questionable taste in men always, and I desperately hope she “saw the light” and left, and will read the right books, attend extensive therapy and stay single and find herself….I have my doubts. I think I will be back on here complaining about the next douche she is with after attending no real therapy and doing no real work on herself. Because that is what she does. I hope she does prove me wrong, and at first I thought yes, learn from this and grow and it will all be better. But then I remember what kind of person she was before this AH, and it wasn’t like she wasn‘t incredibly vain, self centered, orthoexic mess that refused to get help for herself when she had every opportunity. I am glad she left him, no one deserves that man or his culty nonsense and I hope I am wrong. I guess time will tell.
TLDR I think many have written her hoping to help, but while I am happy she got out of this, what I saw as, abusive and manipulative relationship, I do fear I have rose colored glasses thinking YES, he is gone, she will change. Then I remember who she was before this, a person who already needed therapy and help and never once took it despite her incredible privilege to be able to. I hope she will learn, truly, and prove me wrong, but I have my doubts. I think she will monkey bar to a different type of douche. A douche- lite version that doesn’t have cult or dangerous values and practices and a ton of BS attached, but a douche nonetheless because she likes looks or money, preferably both. Sometimes just one though…obviously.
Sorry for the wall.
) surely she'd be wanting it to get sold now? But it's rainy season in Bali isn't it? Not the best time to sell probably.
