Mumsnet #48 Cherchez la spunk splatter

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ShopTilYouSlop said:
So...there's one of the "magic of Christmas = believing in Santa" threads going now. OP's daughter is 8 and wants an expensive present and has always been told Santa does gifts. She says she's asking Santa because she knows it's expensive so her parents won't have to worry and he can do it. OP is taking this to mean her daughter still believes. To me it sounds like daughter knows fine bleeping well he's not real but if Mum's going to insist on this, hey, why not work it to her advantage. Smart kid.

So now we're on to the "magic of Christmas" stuff which seems to mean doing everything you can to make kids believe in Santa as if it would be an utter disaster and ruin Christmas if they don't. Is this a MN thing or is it more common than that? I don't really know because we never did Santa, my parents weren't into it, and I went to school in a very diverse area where we realised very early on that the Jewish, Muslim, Hindu and Sikh kids had other festivals and no Santa. Nobody was distressed by it from what I recall.

I can't help but feel irritated about people contriving ever more ridiculous stories to make kids believe even when they're at an age where they SHOULD be questioning this kind of thing and I honestly don't see why the "magic of Christmas" relies so much on this and Christmas will be totally ruined if the kids have worked it out. It looks to me as though it's actually all about the adults and now even the phrase "magic of Christmas" pisses me off irrationally. But is this a MN thing, or is it wider than that?

I suppose I'm asking... AIBU?
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I was the oldest/first grandchild in my extended family. I was told about Father Christmas when I was a toddler, I suppose, and I certainly had stopped believing by my fifth christmas, which of course coincided with starting school. I can't remember whether there were playground discussions, or whether there may have been some teacherly disapproval of the whole santa idea (it was convent school) but I definitely had that realisation. I certainly didn't stop being enthusiastic about Christmas, nor did it become any less "magical". I have always loved Christmas and I still get very invested in it.

My sister, 3 years younger, seemed to believe for longer, to the point where one year when she was 6 or 7 my mum forgot to label any of the presents "From Father Christmas" which then led my sister to crying because she thought FC didn't love her any more! Then my mum didn't know what to do and madly "discovered" a present behind the sofa which was definitely from Father Christmas "but the wrapping and label had come off" 😂

I do think there seems to be much more of a drive these days to encourage children to keep believing, which I agree with you doesn't really help their critical thinking faculties. I also think you do NOT let your kids go to secondary school still believing, or they will have the piss ripped out of them. I had a very sweet friend as a child who still believed in secondary and was mercilessly mocked by some nasty girls. And I think that realisation is much more "traumatic" when the pretence has gone on for that long.

On the subject of advent calendars, I have ordered my son a riotously expensive Japanese snacks one from Bokksu, which was a smash hit last year. I go very old skool and like a nice traditional one that's just cardboard myself! I don't really like chocolate (although am a size Tui) and the cardboard one somehow makes it feel more Christmassy! I do actually owe MN a thanks for that because I didn't realise you could still buy them and someone on there posted a link to a website that makes them.
 
On a cost of living thread, where the OP said she was struggling.

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Rotisserie said:
I don't get how rabid people get over Father Christmas. The magic thing baffles me, and the attitude of "if you don't believe you don't receive!" So kids who don't believe in Father Christmas just get no presents?! WTF?!
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There was someone a year or two ago who was so hysterical at the idea of her daughter (9, I think) not believing that she was indeed threatening her with no gifts if she didn't. Because MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

It's all about the adults. It's the kids who lie, actually.
 
rainbowlemon said:
On a cost of living thread, where the OP said she was struggling.

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There are so many similar replies offering their "authentic" dal recipes to the OP. Completely missing the point.

Also, this advice (paraphrased): "Have you considered moving abroad? We're off and are deciding between the Gulf States [!!] and the USA [!!!]"

Yep, so easy and cheap to do!

Seriously, no one can convince me these people aren't trolling, and unkindly at that. I refuse to believe people are so bleeping daft. (I know, malice, incompetence/ignorance, etc. but they're really taking the piss).
 
ShopTilYouSlop said:
There was someone a year or two ago who was so hysterical at the idea of her daughter (9, I think) not believing that she was indeed threatening her with no gifts if she didn't. Because MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

It's all about the adults. It's the kids who lie, actually.
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My DM is like that.

I'd figured out it was all a sham aged about 7 or 8 but played along for another couple of years so that the presents would keep coming. When I was told, officially, that Santa didn't exist, I just shrugged and that was that.

My DM still goes on every Christmas that I was heartbroken and cried my eyes out.

There was a lad in secondary school with me who still believed in Santa aged 13 or so. He got mocked something rotten. To be fair, his dad would dress up as Santa but still.
 
yessenia_d said:
Also, this advice (paraphrased): "Have you considered moving abroad? We're off and are deciding between the Gulf States [!!] and the USA [!!!]"
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If they are moving here because of the cost of living in the UK, they are in for a shock. On my trips to the UK I have deduced that only three things are cheaper here than the UK: driving (gas, parking), hotels, and fast food. Everything else is more expensive here.
 
I believed in Santa absolutely bleeping ferociously. Once I sneakily opened a ‘Santa’ present before my parents woke up and it was a packet of nappies. I genuinely believed that Santa thought I needed nappies and was so embarrassed I hid them behind the sofa. Surprise, they were for the baby born doll that I opened later, and Santa didn’t in fact think I was a 7 year old pant pisher 🫠
 
My kids are 10 and 6. The 10 year old absolutely doesn't believe in Santa/Father Christmas and hasn't since she was about 5 or 6. She's autistic and told me that Santa would have caught fire if he travelled round the world that fast. Her brother does believe and big sis plays along for his benefit. Santa is also waaaaay too busy to wrap the presents, he puts them in the stocking with their name on, chomps the mince pie and then buggers off.

My 10 year old was 3 when she asked a Santa at the grotto if he got stuck in the chimney because he was so fat from all the mince pies. It's just as well he isn't real or she'd be getting nowt.
 
Rotisserie said:
I don't get how rabid people get over Father Christmas. The magic thing baffles me, and the attitude of "if you don't believe you don't receive!" So kids who don't believe in Father Christmas just get no presents?! WTF?!
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I made the mistake of saying I knew he wasn't real (I was 5 and wanted to be reassured).

'Oh, good, I don't have to pretend anymore, I hate all that nonsense and you can show some gratitude to me if I get you anything.' No more waking up to find presents on my bed in the morning.
 
TheDragonWithAFlagon said:
I made the mistake of saying I knew he wasn't real (I was 5 and wanted to be reassured).

'Oh, good, I don't have to pretend anymore, I hate all that nonsense and you can show some gratitude to me if I get you anything.' No more waking up to find presents on my bed in the morning.
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Just to be clear, I don't condone that approach either!

We've always done a few small things from Santa, mostly to keep them occupied for a bit when they wake up so we can sleep in a little. We've always talked about Santa in that campy, OTT, tongue in cheek way you do with little children and never stopped. When the oldest said he knew he wasn't real (age around 6), I did a comic swoon, clutched my heart and said, "Oh my goodness, how can you say such a thing! It's hobble and tebble!" Seemed to work, he laughed and still got his gifts.

Some people, when kids ask or say that they know, say that the truth is that Santa does exist, but he's not really a man in a suit, he's the spirit of Christmas, love, giving, etc etc...and we show that as Santa to help small children understand but now you're old enough to know the truth, you can help keep the magic alive for younger children.
 
My mum still did Christmas stockings for us until we were at least in our late teens/early 20s - she finally drew the line when we were all rolling home from the pub long after she'd come back from midnight mass and wanted to go to bed. Obv I knew if was her, but it was still magical to wake up to.
 
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