It's clear she's now laying the trail of crumbs that will lead to the door of the Big Christmas Story. No, not the one about the Baby Jesus and the Manger, but the one where, despite his promises to accompany her to her friend's for Christmas dinner, he sacks her off (because, obviously, he will be with his wife and family on Christmas Day). She will have spent £000s on lavish gifts for him, booked Christmas Eve at a posh country house hotel, had her minge cleaned out by Dyno-Rod in readiness for non-stop rogering, and spent a small fortune at Rigby & Peller on sexy undies and a negligee. Only to be left, all alone, with a bottle of champagne and a text from The German (ha!) saying "Merry Christmas. I love you, you are my goddess, my all, my life, my darling ..."
paraphrasing here, but "I'll keep you a secret, unless the paparazzi get us first" BAHAHAHAHAHA oh Liz, you managed to hide you and the totally real rock star from the paps, so I think you'll be totally OK with Herr Anonymous here. Also, her rolling her eyes at people who "still" voice call, but then asks for an email. What is she, 112? Also who the hell would believe even a completely made-up boyfriend that claimed they couldn't always find their texts? It doesn't suggest spy, lizzy, it suggests a completely-devoid-of-anything-plausible liar. In addition to that, I'm usually all for people being confident and knowing their worth, but anyone who constantly publicly describes themselves as funny/kind/generous is usually absolutely none of those things, and more often than not, the complete opposite.
