Jack Monroe #71 Jack flew over the cuckoo’s nest

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colouredlines said:
CHORUS:
Oh I like chopping onions
Chopping onions is so much fun
I'll be chopping onions
Instead of getting my book done

First you get out your onion
And you grab your bread knife
Then you rage for a bit
'Cause you can't find a wife
Next you cut it in half
Then you stop and check Twitter
Start a massive pile-on
'Cause your career's down the shitter

CHORUS

Next you take off the skin
This might now make you cry
So put on your onion goggles
Or you'll get an ouchy eye
Then you start to chop the onion
But you can't help checking Tattle
They're posting gifs of Jimmy Nail
Time for another legal battle!

CHORUS

Now some fancy chefs will say
You should be heating up your pan
But just listen to the maverick
And always ignore THAT MAN
Be sure to upload your video
You could really use the money
Wait, do Tories like onions?
duck it, feed them to the bunny
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giphy.gif


Imainlylurk said:
Please never stop posting here Alan 🤣
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I believe I’m contractually obliged to continue
 
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Montrachet said:
I see that the truly awful, Steph McGovern has a new live show 5 days a week on Ch4. It is going to have a regular cooking slot as they desperately try to fill 100 minutes of airtime each day. Andy Oliver is booked - will Louisa use her influence at Ch4 and friendship with Steph to land Jack a regular slot?

What is our criteria for deeming JM officially irrelevant in a social / career sense? There now appears little content beyond 'Scoby' and other such guff.

Is she capable of inventing a new persona, cause and direction that can generate fresh interest in her again? I personally think that her remaining in the crappy bungalow will itself act as an obstacle to her recovering and progressing. Imagine walking around and seeing the daily reminders of the trauma of the last few months. The manically refurbished shed, the dining room converted into a 'studio' with tongue and groove walls, the sideboards of shame.
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The obstacle that Jack has is Jack, not the house. She could leave the bungalow and the shed...and a few months later she'd be in the same situation somewhere else. Jack can change where she is (running up to Edinburgh) but not what she does. At least until she takes time to look at herself understand what she is doing is problematic, why she is doing it and how she can change her patterns of behaviour.
 
Icing _on_ the_cake said:
The obstacle that Jack has is Jack, not the house. She could leave the bungalow and the shed...and a few months later she'd be in the same situation somewhere else. Jack can change where she is (running up to Edinburgh) but not what she does. At least until she takes time to look at herself understand what she is doing is problematic, why she is doing it and how she can change her patterns of behaviour.
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Wherever she goes there she is! 😉
 
Montrachet said:
I see that the truly awful, Steph McGovern has a new live show 5 days a week on Ch4. It is going to have a regular cooking slot as they desperately try to fill 100 minutes of airtime each day. Andy Oliver is booked - will Louisa use her influence at Ch4 and friendship with Steph to land Jack a regular slot?

What is our criteria for deeming JM officially irrelevant in a social / career sense? There now appears little content beyond 'Scoby' and other such guff.

Is she capable of inventing a new persona, cause and direction that can generate fresh interest in her again? I personally think that her remaining in the crappy bungalow will itself act as an obstacle to her recovering and progressing. Imagine walking around and seeing the daily reminders of the trauma of the last few months. The manically refurbished shed, the dining room converted into a 'studio' with tongue and groove walls, the sideboards of shame.
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I jolly well hope so, I could do with a laugh
 
Montrachet said:
I see that the truly awful, Steph McGovern has a new live show 5 days a week on Ch4. It is going to have a regular cooking slot as they desperately try to fill 100 minutes of airtime each day. Andy Oliver is booked - will Louisa use her influence at Ch4 and friendship with Steph to land Jack a regular slot?

What is our criteria for deeming JM officially irrelevant in a social / career sense? There now appears little content beyond 'Scoby' and other such guff.

Is she capable of inventing a new persona, cause and direction that can generate fresh interest in her again? I personally think that her remaining in the crappy bungalow will itself act as an obstacle to her recovering and progressing. Imagine walking around and seeing the daily reminders of the trauma of the last few months. The manically refurbished shed, the dining room converted into a 'studio' with tongue and groove walls, the sideboards of shame.
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Steph is from Middlesbrough. Maybe she can do slop cookery for poor Teessiders, it would cover those from Redcar too.
I hate daytime tv. I’d probably watch (and fasforward) if Jack was on for the entertainment to be honest.
 
Lumpyspaceprincess said:
Steph is from Middlesbrough. Maybe she can do slop cookery for poor Teessiders, it would cover those from Redcar too.
I hate daytime tv. I’d probably watch (and fasforward) if Jack was on for the entertainment to be honest.
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Another in the daytime cookery alumni is booked. Miguel Barclay is sure to follow too. Jack best get her agent on this before her niche is truly invaded.




P.S. Someone stated at 12.25pm that she had rainbow chard on a really cheesy pizza tonight. Too much Scoby, or moved several time zones East?
 
Montrachet said:
Another in the daytime cookery alumni is booked. Miguel Barclay is sure to follow too. Jack best get her agent on this before her niche is truly invaded.




P.S. Someone stated at 12.25pm that she had rainbow chard on a really cheesy pizza tonight. Too much Scoby, or moved several time zones East?
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Did she used to do the weather on BBC breakfast?
 
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