Jack Monroe #600 If I don’t have a sieve, where am I getting a carabiner from?

[ForgettyBetty]

The thing that makes me suspect it IS hers is that the cheese has been baked with all the plastic and paper packaging still on. Also pobp.
Or maybe I'm a dumbass and you're supposed to do that.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I think it is absolutely pathetic that anyone adult would go a long with her ridiculous charade. She is deeply unwell and needs proper help. She has said herself that she has bascially comfirmed everything on her. She is active addict with severe mental health issues. Yet these people are enabling her all the time. Attacking a bunch of faceless ninnies if you will. Whats do they hope to achieve. To lure people into continue to talk about her. Forgive me but i dont see the point.

I fail to see how she see's these people has friends they are complicit in her ever failing mental health.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

if she carries on like this she’ll never finish those books.

Or start them.

 

[RandomFishOils]

It’s definitely a bought brioche wreath. She can’t even cut a circular hole (Courtney Love’s band) in a piece of cardboard using scissors, she’s not going to be able to do it with dough.

The stupid berk didn’t even read the instructions on the box about removing the packaging from the Camembert.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

I think it is bought too. She lacks the skills required to create a baked item with that much structural integrity.

Thrown off the scent a bit because it is so unevenly browned. No doubt down to impatience and inability to following instructions.

 

[I'm not actually here]

The thing that makes me suspect it IS hers is that the cheese has been baked with all the plastic and paper packaging still on. Also pobp.
Or maybe I'm a dumbass and you're supposed to do that.

Hahaha ha fkme, she has too. Does she know anything about anything??

 

[Limey]

Lads I've just cooked a chicken thigh in the air fryer and made piadines, did a greek style wrap with Tzatziki. New book coming soon.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Who doesn't like sleeping with a junk pot next to their bed?

Mine is on the radiator by the mushrooms, there wasn’t room for it next to the bed coz that’s where the slow cooker is x

 

[Mr Jim]

Who doesn't like sleeping with a junk pot next to their bed?

Is that the same as a penis beaker?

 

[griftalo]

Nothing says 'Unemployed and unemployable' quite like having the time to read 200 books in a year.

Surprised being a busy single mum and hard working council employee doesn't take up more time.

I used to be a single parent with no tv, no ability to go out in the evening and used to read three books a week in the evenings only - I’m a very fast reader but I only read 156 in a year !! 200 books… I guess she doesn’t clean, gets shopping delivered, doesn’t look after the pets she shouldn’t be allowed to own, or her child. So yeah, totally agree
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you're right. I felt like screenshotting for those that couldn't see it cos I hate it when people are talking about something I can't see, but will def move on now.

Dammit! So I’ve missed it all I’m trying to catch up now
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Ugh here's some screenshots of the crazy conversations she's been having with herself/ others. Pink is her socks green is carp guy blue is other people

It's a lot and none of it's in any way edifying. I'm sorry if it's out of order too, it did that thing where it makes you refresh.

Spoiler: So much

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Okay I guessing this is it… my brain is melting now, don’t know what on earth is going here. I don’t have the energy to re read it
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At least she doesn't say "wallah!" Which I have genuinely seen in the wild

I corrected someone on facebook using that years ago and they argued with me that it was perfectly ok and ranted at me. Am I perjickwt knobend? Probably.

 

[rage naan]

I used to be a single parent with no tv, no ability to go out in the evening and used to read three books a week in the evenings only - I’m a very fast reader but I only read 156 in a year !! 200 books… I guess she doesn’t clean, gets shopping delivered, doesn’t look after the pets she shouldn’t be allowed to own, or her child. So yeah, totally agree
---

Dammit! So I’ve missed it all I’m trying to catch up now
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Okay I guessing this is it… my brain is melting now, don’t know what on earth is going here. I don’t have the energy to re read it
---

I corrected someone on facebook using that years ago and they argued with me that it was perfectly ok and ranted at me. Am I perjickwt knobend? Probably.

Yeah you didn't miss anything, those were the screenshots - just a load of pointless cringe as you can see

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this looks too even to be a Jack..creation? a light bit of googling suggests to me that this belongs to Mr W.Raitrose and no more has mincemeat in it than I’ve been to church in Georgia.

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Ah but does the Waitrose version come with some weird brown dried up leaves that look like they were found in the park, possibly after having been weed on by some dogs, and that will leave bits of leaf crumb everywhere

ps she's terrible at photography

 

[griftalo]

Yeah you didn't miss anything, those were the screenshots - just a load of pointless cringe as you can see

Ah but does the Waitrose version come with some weird brown dried up leaves that look like they were found in the park, possibly after having been weed on by some dogs, and that will leave bits of leaf crumb everywhere

I bet it was Waitrose but she didn’t even manage to cook that properly! I bet she cooks pizza on a polystyrene circle

 

[Clovis]

I bet she cooks pizza on a polystyrene circle

My mum did that once when we were children. In her defence, she had a rather conservative taste in food and she'd never cooked one before and wasn't one for reading instructions.

I can about it now, but it was not fun picking out all the fused lumps of polystyrene.

 

[Lucky Escape]

My mum did that once when we were children. In her defence, she had a rather conservative taste in food and she'd never cooked one before and wasn't one for reading instructions.

I can about it now, but it was not fun picking out all the fused lumps of polystyrene.

That happened when I went camping with the Cubs some time in the late 80s. We were stuck halfway up a mountain with no other food than the burgers which had been cooked on a makeshift barbecue by someone who didn't know that you were meant to peel away the little plastic circles that separated them.

Not very healthy, but they did manage to have more texture than anything Jack's ever cooked...

 

[I'm not actually here]

Yeah you didn't miss anything, those were the screenshots - just a load of pointless cringe as you can see

Ah but does the Waitrose version come with some weird brown dried up leaves that look like they were found in the park, possibly after having been weed on by some dogs, and that will leave bits of leaf crumb everywhere

ps she's terrible at photography

BIB Repeating myself, again: that's cos her eyes don't work.

Like the rest of her.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

He is the councillor for that estate she slated on the internet radio. Said they all buy beer and nappies at their local Tesco.

What is wrong with buying nappies? People with little to no income can't afford the expensive outlay for cloth nappies. Elderly people live in impoverished areas and might need nappies. So do lot of disabled people who might use nappies because funnily enough it's pretty difficult to earn a high income or create savings when your health is a barrier. Also, Tesco is one of the few shops that sells nappies for older children which is a Godsend for some parents as many continence services are not taking new referrals.
Guest needs to shut up and duck off.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

And cloth nappies need you to have a washing machine and be able to dry them. If you can’t afford heating much then it’s just adding to a possible mould problem.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

She seems quite invested in cultivating a connection with Matt not of the forearms. Is Matt declaring any relationships?

Matt of the nostrils *supermassive black holes*
Guest will go the same way if she isn't careful

 

[rage naan]

What is wrong with buying nappies? People with little to no income can't afford the expensive outlay for cloth nappies. Elderly people live in impoverished areas and might need nappies. So do lot of disabled people who might use nappies because funnily enough it's pretty difficult to earn a high income or create savings when your health is a barrier. Also, Tesco is one of the few shops that sells nappies for older children which is a Godsend for some parents as many continence services are not taking new referrals.
Guest needs to shut up and duck off.

I feel like some sort of index showing how things cost more when you're poor would have been useful here

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Frauen, Herren und Theiren, I have been on a three-day quest to learn how to make perfect Yorkshire puddings ahead of our family get together tomorrow. I've made them once before, as we don't really do roast dinners chez Beacon. There has been a lot of batter, hot oil, adjusting of oven temperature and swearing. Today I even despatched Mr Beacon on a mission to buy an oven thermometer to figure out what the duck is going on.
However, even the yorkies that were deemed "failures" still looked about 1000% better than this plate of tit.

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I can't even begin to guess how she made them so badly, and to brag about it in the Internet (which, let's not forget, is forever) just blows my mind.

Spoiler: Bonus slop

View attachment 3328901 qMumma Jack's dog turd cookies mini toads in the hole.

Please no, not the cat tit discs. That truly is a nightmare before Christmas