Jack Monroe #583 She didn't retire from public life, she had no choice. Public life retired her.

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Grifty Mc said:
“First pop your lentils in a saucepan that will easily hold thrice their volume. Cover in cold water, but do not salt for they will seize. Bring to the boil at the back of the stove, where they can br forgotten for a while. Reduce to a simmer and roundly ignore them for around half an hour, only interfering should they start to dry out a little, by adding a splash of water.”

Can someone please translate this into English for this simpleton? She uses so many words and makes what should be a simple process so complicated.
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Boil the duck out of them for as long as possible until they make a grey lumpy slop.

Serve with a grubby spoon in a matching colour and for added aesthetic also use that colour on the underside of your nails.
 
Grifty Mc said:
“First pop your lentils in a saucepan that will easily hold thrice their volume. Cover in cold water, but do not salt for they will seize. Bring to the boil at the back of the stove, where they can br forgotten for a while. Reduce to a simmer and roundly ignore them for around half an hour, only interfering should they start to dry out a little, by adding a splash of water.”

Can someone please translate this into English for this simpleton? She uses so many words and makes what should be a simple process so complicated.
Click to expand...
“Paid by the word”
 
We’re nearing the end of this thread and I for one am delighted that this suggestion from @Lucy Aeroplane is currently in first place:

Perhaps give your nose a wipe and rethink your life choices


split screenshot below as I couldn’t do it in one
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houseofhoop said:
We’re nearing the end of this thread and I for one am delighted that this suggestion from @Lucy Aeroplane is currently in first place:

Perhaps give your nose a wipe and rethink your life choices


split screenshot below as I couldn’t do it in oneView attachment 3071243 q
View attachment 3071244 q
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Loathe to give that squig oxygen but …


Mod edit, yes let's not give unhinged people every bad as jack the attention they want (if this is indeed Whats happening as people are reporting it). Another title?
 
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Grifty Mc said:
“First pop your lentils in a saucepan that will easily hold thrice their volume. Cover in cold water, but do not salt for they will seize. Bring to the boil at the back of the stove, where they can br forgotten for a while. Reduce to a simmer and roundly ignore them for around half an hour, only interfering should they start to dry out a little, by adding a splash of water.”

Can someone please translate this into English for this simpleton? She uses so many words and makes what should be a simple process so complicated.
Click to expand...

The ungratefulness just oozes like the pie. Do you want her to stop breathing??

Plus it's free to access. Us povvos need that. She should be on the beatification list, despite not being a Catholic, for her unrelenting kindness.
 
Grifty Mc said:
“First pop your lentils in a saucepan that will easily hold thrice their volume. Cover in cold water, but do not salt for they will seize. Bring to the boil at the back of the stove, where they can be forgotten for a while. Reduce to a simmer and roundly ignore them for around half an hour, only interfering should they start to dry out a little, by adding a splash of water.”

Can someone please translate this into English for this simpleton? She uses so many words and makes what should be a simple process so complicated.
Click to expand...
Good grief. At first I thought this was a parody, but it really is a direct quote from one of guest's delicious recipes.

I'm appalled.
kim-woodburn-garbage.gif
 
Grifty Mc said:
“First pop your lentils in a saucepan that will easily hold thrice their volume. Cover in cold water, but do not salt for they will seize. Bring to the boil at the back of the stove, where they can br forgotten for a while. Reduce to a simmer and roundly ignore them for around half an hour, only interfering should they start to dry out a little, by adding a splash of water.”

Can someone please translate this into English for this simpleton? She uses so many words and makes what should be a simple process so complicated.
Click to expand...
It’s definitely because of the “thrice” but I can only read this in the voice of Kerry Mucklowe.
 
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