Jack Monroe #563 Danniella Guestbrook

[Valiofthedolls]

She can't be expected to wear off the rack! What do you think she is? Some kind of common street bleep?

Of course not! She worked in a HEAVILY be-perfumed bordello BROTHEL. (ss @Mr Krabs)

Southend 2009 (And also 2013).

(You can’t see her. She’s behind the piano lid, for the kindly pianist is teaching the plucky middle/working class urchin-bleep clad winsomely in her saucy misshapen shapewear undies to play ragtime and jazz. Unfortunately she thinks she knows it all already, so the lessons will only translate to her THUMPING it out with one finger and an inexplicably/unfathomably smug air.

Please note: in the 2013 version of this scene she is doing all the above from the 2009 version, whilst also STEALING half-eaten FOOD from her wealthy gentlemen callers’ pockets TO SURVIVE).

 

[MancBee]

Was trying to figure out the other day in how many different publications she’s hoisted herself up and rubbed her hoof on the counter. View attachment 2717464 q

Spoiler: So far have come up with

Wan Faced Frump SPIKY HAIRED LOUT Face of Modern Poverty Jack (pic taken mid-2013): April 2016 The Radio TimesView attachment 2717496 qthen a long hiatus to a veritable hoof-rubbing spree of…

Idahoan Polygamist Cult Member’s Most Pious and Least-Favourite Sisterwife Jack: Washington Post December 2018
View attachment 2717477 q
I cured my alcoholism in a WEEK Jack: Guardian January 2019 (bonus sweaty ol socks on the counter)
View attachment 2717474 q
Tinned Mackerel, Mandarin and Black Bean Salad That Could Be Served at THE IVY Jack: Vice May 2019
View attachment 2717469 qShe’s also been up there on the draining board as I’ve Eviscerated And Skinned Nookie Bear And Am Wearing Him As A Boilersuit Buffalo Bill Jack with her gross grubby ground gammons perched daintily on a stool in The Telegraph January 2020 View attachment 2717481 qRe pic/book on right: see also…(bonus manky boots)
View attachment 2717487 q

Spoiler: The less said about this one…

View attachment 2717488 q

Plus all the other times she’s got up there just for jollies, like the time she was (in guest parlance)View attachment 2717504 q
up there, in her Viv Dress

View attachment 2717489 q❤ to the great @Marmalade Atkins for the beautiful nice collage ❤

I don't think I have ever sat on a kitchen worktop, sideboard, dining table, or chest of drawers.

Perhaps I'm not quirky enough. Am I missing out?
---

Of course not! She worked in a HEAVILY be-perfumed bordello BROTHEL. (ss @Mr Krabs)View attachment 2717641 q

Southend 2009 (And also 2013). View attachment 2717625 q
(You can’t see her. She’s behind the piano lid, for the kindly pianist is teaching the plucky middle/working class urchin-bleep clad winsomely in her saucy misshapen shapewear undies to play ragtime and jazz. Unfortunately she thinks she knows it all already, so the lessons will only translate to her THUMPING it out with one finger and an inexplicably/unfathomably smug air.

Please note: in the 2013 version of this scene she is doing all the above from the 2009 version, whilst also STEALING half-eaten FOOD from her wealthy gentlemen callers’ pockets TO SURVIVE).

Send for FF it's finally happened. I'm . Gone but hopefully not forgotten.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

I would make a cash money bet that the only brothel she has ever seen was run by Elizabeth Taylor.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I would make a cash money bet that the only brothel she has ever seen was run by Elizabeth Taylor.

View attachment 2717669 q
View attachment 2717670 q

Her or Belle Whatling. You can definitely see where she gets some of her design inspo

It’s Civil War Era Atlanta’s finest version of the @FlirtyThirty THAT BLOODY LAMP or @HotesTilaire the other THAT BLOODY LAMP, the plush, the end tables, the inexplicable flora/fauna arrangement on the back table and the curtains.

Unfortunately under guest’s design errrr…tutelage the above translates to…

Spoiler: WARNED

 

[Lobster Johnson]

Her or Belle Whatling. You can definitely see where she gets some of her design inspo
View attachment 2717710 q
It’s Civil War Era Atlanta’s finest version of the @FlirtyThirty THAT BLOODY LAMP or @HotesTilaire the other THAT BLOODY LAMP, the plush, the end tables, the inexplicable flora/fauna arrangement on the back table and the curtains.

Unfortunately under guest’s design errrr…tutelage the above translates to…

Spoiler: WARNED

View attachment 2717733 q
View attachment 2717731 qView attachment 2717741 q

Sah! Ah say sah! Ah'm no fancy, big city lawyer, but it'd be remiss of mah if ah was not to point aht that that there is a Bor-dell-oh. Mah courtly Southern manners smply will not allow the word "Brothel" to pass south of the Mason Dixon.

 

[EnglishRoseIrishRover]

I would make a cash money bet that the only brothel she has ever seen was run by Elizabeth Taylor.

What movie is that from please?

 

[Soup or Noodle]

Who gets patches of paint like that on their overalls? You get splashes and speckles, not great big splodges. Once again, it's all performative.

Is there nothing authentic about Jack?

Yeah, the only places I ever seem to get paint are in my hair (especially if I've just washed it) and feet...unless of course I'm not wearing old painting clothes, then I'll usually get a drip or two . I've never ended up with brushed on splodges before.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

What movie is that from please?

North and South (1985)

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Did he spend the first 90 seconds of every conversation talking about being a sucker for a man in uniform in a pub of 200 Royal Marines even though he’s a lesbian, couldn’t quite hear them, they’d been on some protest march or other and his dad and brother are in the military and it’s not a funny talk it has nothing whatsoever to do with the subject at hand too?

How the literal duck did anyone take her seriously about anything, ever?

Could I just clarify, this woman in the video is the same woman that kicked off because a major tv channel chose Jamie Oliver for TV work over her? I can see why she’s angry! She’s a natural!

 

[Bread]

On a frantic grunk but @VeniVidiVicki or someone else, for the love of all things holy will someone PLEASE tell me how to find this bloody beans recipe on Facebook? Out of pure unadulterated nosiness I've been scouring the Waitrose pages for this post and it's driving me bonkers. AYETHANKYEW.

 

[houseofhoop]

My friend just sent me this image (for a discussion we are having over arm length so excuse ‘notes’)

how the actual duck does guest think she looks similar?? There is not one feature that is the same. A few people have told me, a long time ago mind, that l look like Julia Roberts (reader, I do not.) I mean the only thing is we have similar eyes I guess but NOTHING else, much to my dismay. But I cannot see one feature on Natalie Portman that makes me think ‘oo guest has the same’

 

[Florid Language]

On a frantic grunk but @VeniVidiVicki or someone else, for the love of all things holy will someone PLEASE tell me how to find this bloody beans recipe on Facebook? Out of pure unadulterated nosiness I've been scouring the Waitrose pages for this post and it's driving me bonkers. AYETHANKYEW.

I hope this works.

Meatballs With Cheese, Tomatoes & Beans Recipe | Waitrose & Partners

Taking just 10 minutes to prep, this traybake is packed with protein and provides 2 of your 5 a day.

www.waitrose.com

 

[griftalo]

She can't be expected to wear off the rack! What do you think she is? Some kind of common street bleep?

Good lord if she’d only kept her legs shut, she would have more money instead of having to buy shoes for a child eh too
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My friend just sent me this image (for a discussion we are having over arm length so excuse ‘notes’)
View attachment 2717868 q
how the actual duck does guest think she looks similar?? There is not one feature that is the same. A few people have told me, a long time ago mind, that l look like Julia Roberts (reader, I do not.) I mean the only thing is we have similar eyes I guess but NOTHING else, much to my dismay. But I cannot see one feature on Natalie Portman that makes me think ‘oo guest has the same’

I too have purple line monkey length arms. Very useful for helping small people in supermarkets. I think NP has a longish torso. My ‘arold is 7 inches taller than me but his arms aren’t loads longer so reaching stuff up high we aren’t far apart. It’s silly.
I guess guest and ol’natters have two arms and legs in common? Body wise though I’m sad to say that guest probs has more in common with me if I was 7.99999253638383 inches smaller

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

My friend just sent me this image (for a discussion we are having over arm length so excuse ‘notes’)
View attachment 2717868 q
how the actual duck does guest think she looks similar?? There is not one feature that is the same. A few people have told me, a long time ago mind, that l look like Julia Roberts (reader, I do not.) I mean the only thing is we have similar eyes I guess but NOTHING else, much to my dismay. But I cannot see one feature on Natalie Portman that makes me think ‘oo guest has the same’

I’m not sure what you mean tenderstem, they are identical???

 

[Florid Language]

On a frantic grunk but @VeniVidiVicki or someone else, for the love of all things holy will someone PLEASE tell me how to find this bloody beans recipe on Facebook? Out of pure unadulterated nosiness I've been scouring the Waitrose pages for this post and it's driving me bonkers. AYETHANKYEW.

Sorry,I've just realised that you're after Ev's post and not the recipe

 

[cokeyoakey]

I appreciated the recipe, thank you Florid! I might make that tomorrow

 

[MaineCoonMama]

The one brothel I've been in (interview for a reception job) smelled of fresh-brewed coffee. I didn't go upstairs, perhaps that's where all the over-perfumed strumpets were?
Even if a sex worker wore heavy perfume (they don't) they shower in between appointments so it would wash off.
For someone who lies so much you think Jack would be better at it.

 

[Carefree]

For someone who lies so much you think Jack would be better at it.

Like her slop, it's all about quantity not quality.

 

[MancBee]

My friend just sent me this image (for a discussion we are having over arm length so excuse ‘notes’)
View attachment 2717868 q
how the actual duck does guest think she looks similar?? There is not one feature that is the same. A few people have told me, a long time ago mind, that l look like Julia Roberts (reader, I do not.) I mean the only thing is we have similar eyes I guess but NOTHING else, much to my dismay. But I cannot see one feature on Natalie Portman that makes me think ‘oo guest has the same’

The earlobes are quite similar, the rest of the ears not so much. (Though to be fair, Jack does tend to blur hers out, so difficult to be sure)

That's it, not another single thing.
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I’m not sure what you mean tenderstem, they are identical???
View attachment 2717903 q

Like two peas in a pod. Different peas in different pods, mind you.

 

[cokeyoakey]

The one brothel I've been in (interview for a reception job) smelled of fresh-brewed coffee. I didn't go upstairs, perhaps that's where all the over-perfumed strumpets were?
Even if a sex worker wore heavy perfume (they don't) they shower in between appointments so it would wash off.
For someone who lies so much you think Jack would be better at it.

I think it's very very unlikely that they wear heavy perfume, as men won't want to be leaving smelling of a woman's perfume.

Could it be that Jack was *GASP!* lying?