Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

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hiyaaaacath said:
I’ve seen libraries in small towns that don’t have 16 bookshelves, so it’s a bloody good job that Guest had the brains and foresight to remind us that these bookshelves were CHEAP and also to remind us that she doesn’t have an actual frigging job because who the FRIG has time to sand 16 frigging bookshelves. Who?!?
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Never heard of such pointless busy work as “dyeing the curtains”…..Just bleeping WHYYYYYY?!?

I can’t believe how many times on this thread I’ve screamed that internally. Jack makes about as much sense as a camel being in the garden.

Just…what…how have you guys coped over the years? How did you not STOP BREATHING with all this fuckery and utter drivel and nonsense.

I doff my hat to the lot of you 🎩
 
I must apologize for my tardiness. I missed 2000 hours since the last tweet. Due to the lack of activity, we are very close to 2100 hours with no tweeties.

I shall say 3 hail Mary's and eat a peach "curry" as penance. My excuse is classic Jack. If I explained my Sunday night, you'd think I was Jack. And work is less normal than my private life. Ah well, I shall nip out to buy to 1/8 of a spoon curry powder and meet my fate. Pray for me.
 
HotesTilaire said:
I love that Jack adds an inexplicable “carefully” in front of every action, but when she actually means it she says “very, very carefully” the putz. Can we say a shmuk in glasses?

we need to revive the Lozza thread, is she…wearing fake tan?
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I'm dying to discuss the possible race politics of Lozza's shiny orange girlfriend. Are they trying to prove that he's not a racist because he's out in public with someone who looks like this? My mind is boggling......
 
KebabGirl said:
I must apologize for my tardiness. I missed 2000 hours since the last tweet. Due to the lack of activity, we are very close to 2100 hours with no tweeties.

I shall say 3 hail Mary's and eat a peach "curry" as penance. My excuse is classic Jack. If I explained my Sunday night, you'd think I was Jack. And work is less normal than my private life. Ah well, I shall nip out to buy to 1/8 of a spoon curry powder and meet my fate. Pray for me.
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Blimey
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Frauen, I have done a classic jackism and am staying in London tonight after an awards ceremony in a super budget hotel that doesn't even have a toilet in the room.* However, it does have a shower. If I need a wee in the night should I...
A) pee in the shower and wash it down
B) go to the loo on the floor below you lazy cow!
C) go in my water bottle and turn it into porridge in the morning

*haha of course if I were jack I'd be staying in a lovely corporate hotel. But I actually had to pay for this myself on my self-owned company budget and we've currently run out of cash
 
MavisBeacon said:
Frauen, I have done a classic jackism and am staying in London tonight after an awards ceremony in a super budget hotel that doesn't even have a toilet in the room.* However, it does have a shower. If I need a wee in the night should I...
A) pee in the shower and wash it down
B) go to the loo on the floor below you lazy cow!
C) go in my water bottle and turn it into porridge in the morning

*haha of course if I were jack I'd be staying in a lovely corporate hotel. But I actually had to pay for this myself on my self-owned company budget and we've currently run out of cash
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C'mon, you know every previous occupant of your room has peed in the shower, right?
 
MavisBeacon said:
Frauen, I have done a classic jackism and am staying in London tonight after an awards ceremony in a super budget hotel that doesn't even have a toilet in the room.* However, it does have a shower. If I need a wee in the night should I...
A) pee in the shower and wash it down
B) go to the loo on the floor below you lazy cow!
C) go in my water bottle and turn it into porridge in the morning

*haha of course if I were jack I'd be staying in a lovely corporate hotel. But I actually had to pay for this myself on my self-owned company budget and we've currently run out of cash
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Call this charlatan charwoman. She’s been so desperate for a job for over a decade she’ll catch it cupped in her hands for you
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Cos none of these “applications” are working for her
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Vile.
 
Boogs said:
I would love to know the truth behind her move. Was it ever really meant to happen? Was she buying? Is she still in the bungamansion now?
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Of course she's in the bungamansion. She's still sanding down her vast collection of knives (after sharpening them menacingly on TV...like proper chefs do). She also needs to placate the fauna.

-Remove the frozen fish from the fourth freezer.
-Coax the Pumble out of its hiding place.
-Gently caress the radiator mushrooms. (It's the only way to get them into their boxes.)

Then she'll need to buy a house.
 
KebabGirl said:
I must apologize for my tardiness. I missed 2000 hours since the last tweet. Due to the lack of activity, we are very close to 2100 hours with no tweeties.

I shall say 3 hail Mary's and eat a peach "curry" as penance. My excuse is classic Jack. If I explained my Sunday night, you'd think I was Jack. And work is less normal than my private life. Ah well, I shall nip out to buy to 1/8 of a spoon curry powder and meet my fate. Pray for me.
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I fancy a yomp to Matta’s, see you there!
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MavisBeacon said:
Frauen, I have done a classic jackism and am staying in London tonight after an awards ceremony in a super budget hotel that doesn't even have a toilet in the room.* However, it does have a shower. If I need a wee in the night should I...
A) pee in the shower and wash it down
B) go to the loo on the floor below you lazy cow!
C) go in my water bottle and turn it into porridge in the morning

*haha of course if I were jack I'd be staying in a lovely corporate hotel. But I actually had to pay for this myself on my self-owned company budget and we've currently run out of cash
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I thought everyone pissed in kettles in hotels and that’s why you never use them?
 
HotesTilaire said:
we need to revive the Lozza thread, is she…wearing fake tan?
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I got this ad after the Lozza thing. Don't know if Vlad is referencing the Groonid bathtub shoot or the not-racist's orange gf.

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Off-topic but I love this line:

''He is counter-suing saying they have ruined his reputation by calling him a 'racist''

Or maybe he's ruined his reputation by being a racist? 🤔
 
Atruck said:
If anyone's seen L Fox's +1 to court today, looks like he might have had his head turned by a vision in a hammock most of us would rather forget.
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She looks like a dodgy Samantha Mumba tribute act.
Valiofthedolls said:
Call this charlatan charwoman. She’s been so desperate for a job for over a decade she’ll catch it cupped in her hands for you View attachment 2587555 qCos none of these “applications” are working for her
View attachment 2587559 qView attachment 2587560 q
Vile.
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The duck is this outfit? For the butchest lesbian who ever butched she has Bon Marche chic down to a fuckin tee.
 
nothanksbabes said:
She looks like a dodgy Samantha Mumba tribute act.


The duck is this outfit? For the butchest lesbian who ever butched she has Bon Marche chic down to a fuckin tee.
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Auntie Pat took her niece Courtney along to the shops to choose a trendy outfit. She was pleased as punch with it! Court said bare legs are fine, but Pat sneaked a pair of pretty polly American Tan 15 denier matte in her handbag, and put them on in the train toilet.
 
The Grauniad is having a slow news day with this credulous investigation of the ordinary British puddle, Journo omits mention of how many high-end consumer items are to be found in their wondrous depths -- possibly because there was so little evidence of this being true that it didn't stand up to the sub-editor's scrutiny?

https://www.12ft.io/https://www.the...n-11-amazing-facts-about-tiny-bodies-of-water
 
HotesTilaire said:
We weren’t allowed bumhole. And someone put wanker and mods changed it to merchant banker.
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Minge seems to be allowed though.
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MurielSnark said:
I'm dying to discuss the possible race politics of Lozza's shiny orange girlfriend. Are they trying to prove that he's not a racist because he's out in public with someone who looks like this? My mind is boggling......
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I did think that, cynically, he was with a girl who looks like that to go "look, I'm not racist because this is my girlfriend".
 
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