Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

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I hope the gas doesn’t leak out of them later.


View attachment 2579167 qBut if you bring me a Big Mac, we can burger instead.

I’ve just finished slogging through a truly dreadful thriller where someone tried to kill a family with carbon monoxide by making a crack in a radiator so that ‘the gas leaked out’. I tit you not, ninnies. I was so confused. How is it possible that there are two people in the world who think that gas comes out of radiators?
 
I’ve just finished slogging through a truly dreadful thriller where someone tried to kill a family with carbon monoxide by making a crack in a radiator so that ‘the gas leaked out’. I tit you not, ninnies. I was so confused. How is it possible that there are two people in the world who think that gas comes out of radiators?

Knowing that her reading list is almost entirely tit thrillers, that may be where she got the idea!
 
I don't know who Jack's talking about, but it's clear that he/she doesn't want the heckin' coffee. Step away from the percolator you weirdo.
Even if they did want a coffee, they would rather pay cash at Starbucks than the price they'd have to pay for one of hers.

We've all seen her fancy coffee maker, she could make all the varieties. Though Jack would have to call her coffees by awful names...

Embrace me espresso
Love me lungo
Cuddle me cappuccino
Lick me latte
Make me your muse mocha
Fu** me flat white

Anyone think of others?
 
Even if they did want a coffee, they would rather pay the price at Starbucks than the price they'd have to pay for one of hers.

We've all seen her fancy coffee maker, she could make all the varieties. Though Jack would have to call her coffees by awful names...

Embrace me espresso
Love me lungo
Cuddle me cappuccino
Lick me latte
Make me your muse mocha
Fu** me flat white

Anyone think of others?
Musclemamampapa macchiato
Raging narc ristretto?
 
BIB - Too early 😭😭

I’m wide awake again, always around this time of night 🙄 but I’m mithering to myself about whether Jack hates the Canal’s mithering.

Like, does she properly bleeping HATE the fact that she’s on radio silence, and has been for a few months now, and STILL we carry on here. Being forensic about timelines and Jack’s general lies and bullshit. Making up Aunty Pat scenarios. Speculating about a pro chef WhatsApp group. Telling her to close her bleeping Patreon. Just constant, hilarious mithering because Jack has spent the last decade being an absolute melt and therefore, we have enough content to last us forever. And she can’t say tit about it. Especially since the Choccie Tea as well….

OR….Being a total narc, does she in fact love the fact she’s still getting some form of attention from us, even though it’s negative, when everyone else has deserted her?

I honestly can’t decide which it is. I have to say, I much prefer option A because that means in some way, she is paying for her fraudulent ways via our corner of the internet.

It all gets read - not only by Tattle members, but thousands of people who haven’t joined but are still getting educated about the grift and having a nose around the site. And we have a much bigger reach than her “Glastonbury sized” following.

Welcome, new members and anonymous scrollers…like me 6 months ago, you can dive deep into the grifting ways of the internet’s top celebrity chef and grifter, Mx ( occasionally) Jack Monroe, and spread the word that she’s an absolute horror. Although actually, most people won’t know who the duck you’re in about.

How’s having to sit on your hands for months working out for you Jack? All your own fault, you absolute tool. Have a slow hand clap 👏🏻 👏🏻👏🏻
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She'll hate it, because she thinks she should be universally adored and catered to, but she loves being a victim and for narcs their worst fear is total irrelevance. Either way through she's not happy, I don't think she's capable of it.

Who gives a tit though, this thread is hilarious and you're all a joy.
 
Even if they did want a coffee, they would rather pay cash at Starbucks than the price they'd have to pay for one of hers.

We've all seen her fancy coffee maker, she could make all the varieties. Though Jack would have to call her coffees by awful names...

Embrace me espresso
Love me lungo
Cuddle me cappuccino
Lick me latte
Make me your muse mocha
Fu** me flat white

Anyone think of others?
‘Lick me latte” 🤣 FF - quick. Je suis mort ☠️

Inspired by Manc, may I suggest ‘Nuzzle me affogato’.
 
Even if they did want a coffee, they would rather pay cash at Starbucks than the price they'd have to pay for one of hers.

We've all seen her fancy coffee maker, she could make all the varieties. Though Jack would have to call her coffees by awful names...

Embrace me espresso
Love me lungo
Cuddle me cappuccino
Lick me latte
Make me your muse mocha
Fu** me flat white

Anyone think of others?
(W)ristretto ✊🏼
 
Petit Cochon on tour of Americano
Costa lot of money, please buy me a Kofi, and here's my Paypal and Patreon links
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Oooh, hang on... here's a golden opportunity to re-post my guset in the wild photo from couple of weeks ago :)
 

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