Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

[Valiofthedolls]

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this one is mercifully short
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What the what now?!

also, why’s Poetry Jack so obsessed with coffee? Was it FORBIDDEN from the house by Big Chocco (like Eastenders) or something?!

ETA @VeniVidiVicki just noticed your Avi Jack goes perfectly with this poem

 

[Hollaaa]

What rhyme with slop?
For love of God, stop.

 

[Squeaky Beans]

Come on, time to own up. Who has been searching this sentence so often it comes up when you Google guest's name?

Chapeau! I doff my pigskin cap to you

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Evita in my head for thread title please. Cos she totes thinks she is Evita and Madonna.

 

[mchops]

She really is just chocolate jnr. Her arty topless photos, breasts fully exposed, show her shyness and not ego.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I hope the gas doesn’t leak out of them later.

But if you bring me a Big Mac, we can burger instead.

 

[BeardyBap]

Fair play to her, there's not enough poems featuring "oh baby".
Disappointed there's no "yeah"s in this one. They're my favourite poems.

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

It's giving 'edgy Btech photography coursework'. Who poses with a dead creature like this? Gotta look cute and mysterious while I use this deceased bird as a bleeping prop

The title though - "All My Bloody Valentines" - this is the woman who has a Counting Crows tattoo.

 

[kachoochoo]

Please can someone Photoshop Jack's face onto this. It's not Jackie related. I just love it View attachment 2577896 q

see for this to really work, you need to use my mask

like so

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Fair play to her, there's not enough poems featuring "oh baby".
Disappointed there's no "yeah"s in this one. They're my favourite poems.

No yeahs I’m afraid but another oh baby for your reading pleasure. The second verse in this one is particularly difficult to parse. I recommend reading it aloud to really enjoy its complexity

 

[HotesTilaire]

But store rhymes with bleep, but I can't think of anything that rhymes with shop. Can you kind cabal?

The Kop, but that’s a specialist local niche LFC reference

 

[pumbilical cord]

No yeahs I’m afraid but another oh baby for your reading pleasure. The second verse in this one is particularly difficult to parse. I recommend reading it aloud to really enjoy its complexity
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More shite than a sewage works.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Big Dave I want to apply for a job in your coffee and artillery store
I know two facts about the cleaners personal lives,
and I’m sure I can find out one more
Bouleevaaard
honk

 

[Batfurger]

No yeahs I’m afraid but another oh baby for your reading pleasure. The second verse in this one is particularly difficult to parse. I recommend reading it aloud to really enjoy its complexity
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Holy bleeping shitballs on a unicycle. What in the name of emo have I just read.

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

I think the comedian Maisie Adams also goes to Lindley.
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[rage naan]

And here's another of the photos she was selling, of someone else's street art at a market - not even her own! I wonder what the artist had to say about that

See what I mean. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Calm down Annie Leibowitz, no one wants to steal your terrible snapshots

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I was in a large Waterstones with my teen today and annoyed her by spending too long looking for one of Jacks books in the cookery section. Reader, I failed.

 

[Kittypops]

this one is mercifully short
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"The unsung songs lie strewn on unplayed pianos" ...

Noooo, so there's neither a Bouuuulevaaaarrrrd" nor a key hammering?
I'm sad about this

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Better In Time is an absolute atrocity (possibly even better than children with rickets and crumpled bus tickets), Thankyou x for digging it up. I found it really relatable, I too hate it when I order fresh ground coffee and the barista punches me when I ask for no milk.

Why you cry?
Sighs in eyes

 

[Girty Drifter]

LADS……..

14%!!!! They’ve sold two today