Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

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I can see in the Mockingbird piece her feet/legs are tired/sore from walking, I assume because of inadequate public transport in the SE Essex area. It follows therefore that the bus in Unsung Songs was never going to turn up, hence giving her time to count all of the stars for her baby. Bit of local politics there, as a spangly suited man might say.
This powerful stuff knocks your poetry establishment into a cocked hat. Your Betjemans, your Audens, your Heaneys, not an ooh baby yeah between them. Mugs.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
It’s really difficult to tell what “it” actually was, isn’t it?

Just as to Jack owning a “forever home” is an end in itself, with no thought whatsoever for any of the myriad responsibilities and hassles that come with being a home owner once you’ve got the house, being famous (and “in the public eye”, as she was already calling it on her blog by May 2012) seems to have been the “it”/the end in itself.

I mean, it’s clear she’s been royally sabotaging things for herself since at least 2015 but it’s difficult to see other than attention seeking, “fame” and grifting a house what was her point or purpose in all (waves arms around at the last decade) this?!
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Imagine Homeowner Jack. "Oh wow the roof needs fixing and I only have 12p. What is a smol pixie to doooooo ☹️" "I would love to HELP PEOPLE but my fridge is not top of the line so I can't do my WORK and I can't afford a new one"
and infinitum
 
Seaford Haggington said:
They are all bleeping hideous but some are truly wrong. What a complete lack of talent of any kind.
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They’re awful aren’t they! Just proves people will buy any old wank if she sold some!
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Valiofthedolls said:
Strongly suspect this was an original
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Every time I see this I imagine she’s got a dog on a string and is off to see the levellers. It’s got such strong crusty vibes from my youth. There were loads where I’m from. Most of them were nice though 😂
 
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BeardyBap said:
I can see in the Mockingbird piece her feet/legs are tired/sore from walking, I assume because of inadequate public transport in the SE Essex area. It follows therefore that the bus in Unsung Songs was never going to turn up, hence giving her time to count all of the stars for her baby. Bit of local politics there, as a spangly suited man might say.
This powerful stuff knocks your poetry establishment into a cocked hat. Your Betjemans, your Audens, your Heaneys, not an ooh baby yeah between them. Mugs.
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The amazing thing about art is we can all have our own interpretation. I thought it was about our plucky Smol heroine having to save her bus money to buy coronation chicken. I don't know if she'd take it to her beloved though.
 
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how can an unmade bed be white and new and come
 
Lazarus said:
Maybe they could launch it with the big thing Jack was doing for the papers, with 4 families who didn’t know how to go shopping on a limited budget. It seems a shame to have missed that article.
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Writer. Photographer. Mother. Amateur. No friends yet. At all
If this isn’t the next thread title I’m going rogue.
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FTFY 😇
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Valiofthedolls said:
Strongly suspect this was an original
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Isn’t that comedian Maisie hairstyle?
 
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traumatised sideboard said:
Better In Time is an absolute atrocity (possibly even better than children with rickets and crumpled bus tickets), Thankyou x for digging it up. I found it really relatable, I too hate it when I order fresh ground coffee and the barista punches me when I ask for no milk.

Why you cry?
Sighs in eyes
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But that's the thing with guest. Each poem or singing attempt or photo is so ghastly you think 'ah this is the worst' but then you revisit each foulness and think 'ah but this one is definitely the worst'. (Like her recipes obv).
My own personal nadir has got to be that poetry recital 'oh duck off I really am shy'. I've never watched it all the way through yet.
 
VeniVidiVicki said:
this one is mercifully short
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I don't know who Jack's talking about, but it's clear that he/she doesn't want the heckin' coffee. Step away from the percolator you weirdo.
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Kittypops said:
"The unsung songs lie strewn on unplayed pianos" ...

Noooo, so there's neither a Bouuuulevaaaarrrrd" nor a key hammering?
I'm sad about this
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I'm sad about the unswung swings.

VeniVidiVicki said:
No yeahs I’m afraid but another oh baby for your reading pleasure. The second verse in this one is particularly difficult to parse. I recommend reading it aloud to really enjoy its complexity 🥰
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God it just drones on and on.

I don't want your Green & Blacks
You think you're all that
but you're just a prat.
 
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Hold my beans said:
Hurry the hell up and order
In the coffee store
Stood there writing tit poetry
The queue is out the door


Why barista cry?
Seagull die
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BIB - Too early 😭😭

I’m wide awake again, always around this time of night 🙄 but I’m mithering to myself about whether Jack hates the Canal’s mithering.

Like, does she properly bleeping HATE the fact that she’s on radio silence, and has been for a few months now, and STILL we carry on here. Being forensic about timelines and Jack’s general lies and bullshit. Making up Aunty Pat scenarios. Speculating about a pro chef WhatsApp group. Telling her to close her bleeping Patreon. Just constant, hilarious mithering because Jack has spent the last decade being an absolute melt and therefore, we have enough content to last us forever. And she can’t say tit about it. Especially since the Choccie Tea as well….

OR….Being a total narc, does she in fact love the fact she’s still getting some form of attention from us, even though it’s negative, when everyone else has deserted her?

I honestly can’t decide which it is. I have to say, I much prefer option A because that means in some way, she is paying for her fraudulent ways via our corner of the internet.

It all gets read - not only by Tattle members, but thousands of people who haven’t joined but are still getting educated about the grift and having a nose around the site. And we have a much bigger reach than her “Glastonbury sized” following.

Welcome, new members and anonymous scrollers…like me 6 months ago, you can dive deep into the grifting ways of the internet’s top celebrity chef and grifter, Mx ( occasionally) Jack Monroe, and spread the word that she’s an absolute horror. Although actually, most people won’t know who the duck you’re in about.

How’s having to sit on your hands for months working out for you Jack? All your own fault, you absolute tool. Have a slow hand clap 👏🏻 👏🏻👏🏻
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VeniVidiVicki said:
No yeahs I’m afraid but another oh baby for your reading pleasure. The second verse in this one is particularly difficult to parse. I recommend reading it aloud to really enjoy its complexity 🥰
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DIRE.

Or as MOTFA says, “Terrible”.

LJC what was she thinking writing this utter dirge?! I bet my SB can write something better than that. In fact, I think the Reception class could even have a crack at it and produce something better. Like a macaroni critique of how awful it is.

Well done Jack, now all the small kids are crying.
 
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