Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

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After finally reaching the end of my tether with the unobtrusive griminess that you can close a cupboard door on (how do the drawers you keep your plates and nothing else in get crumbs in them? HOW?), I am currently giving my kitchen a 'deep clean' (no, I don't do it twice a day). Was j ust taking a breather and my eyes fell upon my spice rack. A little part of my brain piped up about alphabetising it, and then the more sensible part of my brain responded "no that's a waste of five minutes and brain energy that will immediately fall to pieces once you take something off, and how much brain energy does sweeping your eyes over the spice rack take when you're after the cumin" and I got on with cleaning the cupboard. So happy to report I'm not Jack.
 
I'd like to apologise to the canal for my immaturity, but seeing this post followed by the annus horribilis one made me snicker.

SouthendRealEstate said:
I dunno. It may provide some cover for certain individuals at A&E:
”So you say you were trying to open a tin of beans but you’re too poor to own a tin opener, so you used a tip from a well-known poverty campaigner and tried using the sharpest of your knives, all your courage and a mallet but you couldn't find a mallet so you searched around and found the little ‘un’s Action Man amongst the wrapping paper but the punctured can then sprayed some bean juice on the floor and you slipped, fell on the Action Man and, as it was early Xmas morning and you hadn’t yet got dressed, it entered you anally?”
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Seaford Haggington said:
"2012 is the year I refer to as my annus horribilis"
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Be our guest said:
Never was a more perfect example of someone's hubris and egotism than this empty, bland, dull snap of the backs of some random people being entered into a photographic exhibition. If she was slop, she'd eat herself

ETA it wasn't in an exhibition just an exhibition in jack's head. But she put it on the internet for people to waste eye energy looking at.
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The chocolate drop doesn’t drop far from the Big Chocolate
 
✨More from the Artiste✨

It’s 🇺🇸Rocker Jack! Standing in line in a same old “coffee store”

IMG_8177.jpeg

Google, do they call coffee shops “coffee stores” in 🇺🇸?
Stand in line in a same old coffee shop.
Then home to cook some slop.
Will.
My grifting ever stop?
IMG_8183.jpeg
IMG_8184.jpeg
IMG_8185.jpeg
IMG_8186.jpeg
 
Valiofthedolls said:
✨More from the Artiste✨

It’s 🇺🇸Rocker Jack! Standing in line in a same old “coffee store”

View attachment 2578605 q
Google, do they call coffee shops “coffee stores” in 🇺🇸?
Stand in line in a same old coffee shop.
Then home to cook some slop.
Will.
My grifting ever stop? View attachment 2578608 qView attachment 2578609 qView attachment 2578610 qView attachment 2578611 q
Click to expand...

Where can I read the full poem? That extract is amazing. Waiting for her to mention the 'truck stops' that she visits after the 'coffee stores'.
 
BeardyBap said:
Your point stands @Be our guest . She's a 21 yr old woman here, and within a relatively short time will be declaring that her photographs are flying off the walls of her local gallery space. I had a girlfriend that age who was a really talented photographer and worked hard at it, studying at night tech, our bathroom converted into a darkroom etc but she couldn't sell a thing at exhibition. This Londoner collection is a series of snaps; some of them remind me of when you would collect your photos from the chemist and there were two or three at the back you'd taken just to use the film up.
My girlfriend was making some money from boudoir shoots. Lingerie, soft-focus, a present for the fiancé. More tasteful than SB's dad's glamour work imo, but then that makes me think - did Jack only take up photography because it was his thing?
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I absolutely believe she copied photography from him.
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
And here's another of the photos she was selling, of someone else's street art at a market - not even her own! I wonder what the artist had to say about that
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I don’t think I’ve seen her old Flickr account before, which dates back to 2011.

www.flickr.com

Jack-Monroe

Explore Jack-Monroe’s 36 photos on Flickr!
www.flickr.com www.flickr.com

It includes that photo of aunty Pat when she found that dead seagull on the beach in Clacton and tried to give it CPR.

IMG_5817.jpeg
 
StatusWoe said:
Where can I read the full poem? That extract is amazing. Waiting for her to mention the 'truck stops' that she visits after the 'coffee stores'.
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Sadly, much like £5 book token Jack, it doesn’t live up to its early promise.

It does though have Firephone Jack mishandling batteries and suitcases and the first ever mention of Evita/allusion to another suitcase in another hall, so it’s not a total loss
IMG_8187.jpeg

I like that she dramatically throws the suitcases into the hall, but then neatly piles them up against the walls. (Especially as Elaine Paige is singing Andrew Lloyd Webber musical numbers in her head while she’s doing it)
IMG_8180.jpeg
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June 2009. Just was well she had an abundance of poppy seeds at hand because I’m not sure anyone was going to be seduced by the poetry.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
✨More from the Artiste✨

It’s 🇺🇸Rocker Jack! Standing in line in a same old “coffee store”

View attachment 2578605 q
Google, do they call coffee shops “coffee stores” in 🇺🇸?
Stand in line in a same old coffee shop.
Then home to cook some slop.
Will.
My grifting ever stop? View attachment 2578608 qView attachment 2578609 qView attachment 2578610 qView attachment 2578611 q
Click to expand...
But store rhymes with bleep, but I can't think of anything that rhymes with shop. Can you kind cabal?
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Sadly, much like £5 book token Jack, it doesn’t live up to its early promise.

It does though have Firephone Jack mishandling batteries and suitcases and the first ever mention of Evita/allusion to another suitcase in another hall, so it’s not a total loss
View attachment 2578656 q
I like that she dramatically throws the suitcases into the hall, but then neatly piles them up against the walls. (Especially as Elaine Paige is singing Andrew Lloyd Webber musical numbers in her head while she’s doing it)
View attachment 2578648 qView attachment 2578649 qView attachment 2578650 q
June 2009. Just was well she had an abundance of poppy seeds at hand because I’m not sure anyone was going to be seduced by the poetry.
Click to expand...

Evita wasn't on my bingo card, so that was a nice surprise. I wonder who the 'someone else' is that's singing in her head? Perhaps it was Borbora.

Jack does a lot of tearing and ripping doesn't she? Tearing batteries from her clocks. At least she's not clawing gas radiators from the wall, I suppose.
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FrumpyCat said:
But store rhymes with bleep, but I can't think of anything that rhymes with shop. Can you kind cabal?
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Crop stop hop bop mop cop plop flop
Status Woe 2023. All Rights Reserved.

ETA: Nobody mention slop.
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FrumpyCat said:
But store rhymes with bleep, but I can't think of anything that rhymes with shop.
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Store also rhymes with bore, and frankly that's the first word that comes to mind when I read Jack's poetry.
 
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lilykestrel said:
After finally reaching the end of my tether with the unobtrusive griminess that you can close a cupboard door on (how do the drawers you keep your plates and nothing else in get crumbs in them? HOW?), I am currently giving my kitchen a 'deep clean' (no, I don't do it twice a day). Was j ust taking a breather and my eyes fell upon my spice rack. A little part of my brain piped up about alphabetising it, and then the more sensible part of my brain responded "no that's a waste of five minutes and brain energy that will immediately fall to pieces once you take something off, and how much brain energy does sweeping your eyes over the spice rack take when you're after the cumin" and I got on with cleaning the cupboard. So happy to report I'm not Jack.
Click to expand...
I have alphabetised our spice rack. Can confirm they mostly start with C.
 
Mr Krabs said:
I don’t think I’ve seen her old Flickr account before, which dates back to 2011.

www.flickr.com

Jack-Monroe

Explore Jack-Monroe’s 36 photos on Flickr!
www.flickr.com www.flickr.com

It includes that photo of aunty Pat when she found that dead seagull on the beach in Clacton and tried to give it CPR.

View attachment 2578654 q
Click to expand...
It's giving 'edgy Btech photography coursework'. Who poses with a dead creature like this? Gotta look cute and mysterious while I use this deceased bird as a bleeping prop
 

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Nonah said:
I like to think someone did add her to the industry WhatsApp group then everyone started a new one without her.
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Nigella has LEFT the group
Gordon has LEFT the group
James has LEFT the group
John has LEFT the group
Matt OTF has LEFT the group
Allegra has LEFT Jack & the group
Heston has LEFT the group
Delia has LEFT the group
Marcus has LEFT the group
Monica has LEFT the group
Tom has LEFT the group
Michel has LEFT the group
Marco has LEFT the group
Rick has LEFT the group
Mary has LEFT the group
Paul has LEFT the group

*Greg(g) Wallace has joined the group*
 
Hspl4 said:
It's giving 'edgy Btech photography coursework'. Who poses with a dead creature like this? Gotta look cute and mysterious while I use this deceased bird as a bleeping prop
Click to expand...
You know, I decided against posting a police photo of Ed Gein's house last time we were talking about her murder kitchen, but these shots of her trying to will life back into roadkill are right up there.
 
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