Jack Monroe #550 It was never going to be anything better than okay

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DinosaurSenior said:
🚨 AWOOOOOOOOOGAAA!!!! They're making caterpillar cakes on Bake off.
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TurnedUpInTipp said:
Depo-Provera? Is this a contraception lesbians should be on?
The wife and I have been together for over 30 years and have never once thought about contraception.
Herself a doctor too!
One of us must be firing blanks.
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Ah yes dear Tuit. You and Mrs Tuit should be on contraception because, like Jack, one of you could accidentally fall on a penis and get pregnant.


*just as an added note this is a reflection on Jack and no other lesbian/Bi lady. Jack despite claiming to not shag men but still being on long term contraception and still getting pregnant is just unlucky. Also it is a comment on Jack and her actively seeking a male partner on dating sites whilst doing DIVA magazine interviews about being a lesbian.
 
Grifty Mc said:
The MBE really annoys me as I’m sure Eve did all the heavy lifting with the foster kids yet he gets all the credit.
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Yes, absolutely - he gets the credit because he attended the Committees, the Panels, the Working Groups, the Steering Groups, the Forums, the 'opportunity to meet with the Mayor + random dignitary' shindigs. Not her with, you know, the children to actually look after.

It's one of my main bugbears with the whole shebang - these committees are infested with men being busy, important, avoiding going home and getting all the recognition for what the women are doing.
 
Re tattoos: in the office I work in, at least half of my colleagues have tattoos. Beautiful, thoughtful, funny, creative, personal ones.

I love going in after the weekend and one of them rushes up to show me their latest inking.

I'm no expert, but I've seen good tats, and Jackie's remind me of Etch a Sketch scribblings.

One of the women told me that her first tattoo was going to be of her three cats and I thought.... Nooooo it's gonna be tit. But it was incredible!
 
Madonna_Claws said:
Sorry to report that Grifty Kitchen is still out in the wild and has not been recalled and pulped.

Here it is in [redacted] Morrisons earlier this afternoon (same three copies they've had in for months)

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Obviously, as any sensible adult would do, I covered it up with a Bluey book

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It says a lot that this seems to be the only book on the shelf where the publishers, or distributors, think that promoting the price will move some copies 🤭 Also, bonus points for displaying it next to Sir Tom of the Fingers' book.
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Also some interesting news from the major UK book distributor. The inventory of all of guest's books is very low for the pre-Xmas season (take a look, it's gardners.com, type guest's name into the search box). There is no indication of more stock coming soon. Perhaps the suckers publishers have seen how toxic her reputation has become, and have decided not to order reprints?
 
Livia Fantasy said:
It’s my mum’s birthday soon. Been asking her for months if she would ever want one. Nope. Absolutely lost for present ideas. (We haven’t got one) Think they look pretty handy (mainly thinking of the kids - bung in and forget) but the guest thing did knock my enthusiasm massively
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I'm 2 days behind, and wondering if I need to seriously revisit the wiki and 31. She puts kids on to cook and then forgets them??!
 
mchops said:
Just to bring it back to the ' fires' has she ever mentioned smoke alarms and how they are invaluable in saving lives. Massive part of the fire service. Even helps them prioritise calls . Co2 detectors ? Nothing. Set fire to your airfryer and pull gas radiators off the wall yes.
Honestly what adult thinks radiators are full of hot gas.
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2am, several pages yet to grunk and I am crying with laughter. @FunnyFuneral I'm gonna be dessicated by morn, handle with care.
 
AlwightDallin said:
I’ve been mithering today, (there’s a flipping typhoon out there, running my plans to force my husband up a ladder outside with the Christmas lights) on her shady activities during the pandemic. I was badly homeschooling my kids and half assing my job at the time so wasn’t paying enough attention, but has anyone done a deep dive on her working / furlough / company etc situation because it genuinely does feel like the patreon stuff is the very tip of grifty mountain and she’s being super quiet because she knows how much more there is to come, IMO.

By the way. I don’t turn the lights on until Dec 1. My neighbours who are very extra have had a light up reindeer and lamp post on their lawn since Nov 1 😄
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1. No lights at all???! 2. Have you put all your light bulbs up for sale? 3. Is it a lamp post or a cleverly disguised for sale sign? 4. Do you have an axe/saw/hammerdrill (all tools are interchangeable) to remove it moments before you break down in a smol heap in front of the neighbours? Just axing....
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Jemadah said:
Fathomless Shark Eyes is my new band name 😂
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Fathomless Shark Eyes featu. Inexplicable Egg.
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MavisBeacon said:
Yep.
either close it or properly commit to creating content for it and nurturing her subscribers, rather than grifting money for nothing.
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Hahahahaha... As if MB. As bleeping if!!!!
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MancBee said:
I am more and more convinced that HMRC, the police, the charity commission, or some other authority are acting on the many complaints made to them. There's so much evidence of her fraudulent activities, they can only turn a blind eye for so long.
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One can but hope. If any of us had skated paying tax this long, our feet wouldn't touch the floor (not cos we were sitting on sideboards, obvs).

Fed up of reporting the bleep tbh.

This is the most exciting grunk in months!!
 
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Grifty Mc said:
The MBE really annoys me as I’m sure Eve did all the heavy lifting with the foster kids yet he gets all the credit.
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Yeah, even fuckchump grifter has been reading here long enough to have some level of awareness about that. Or let’s face it, more likely Saint Daddy D had just told her off about something so she decided to SPITE him in print.

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It’s funny how far and fast her halo’s slipped. Barely 6-7 months ago she was doing Kit De W’s makeup and being fussed over on the book festival circuit for a book that was years late.
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ETA that whole article gives me the rage. I’m so glad she’s quiet and hope she STFU forever, ideally also that her, Daddy cape and Mammy gruntwork are forced to acknowledge and deal with her resentment about fostering once and for all.
 
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Valiofthedolls said:
cookingonabootstrap.com

HUNGER HURTS: TANZANIA

Irene is 24 years old, a single mother to a two year old girl. She lost her job in 2012, and has moved house at least four times since. Unable to find work, she is living in a friends bedroom in a …
cookingonabootstrap.com cookingonabootstrap.com
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Christ, that article. The completely condescending tone aside, her spelling, punctuation and grammar is appalling. I know she left school with <5 GCSEs, but this person calls themselves a journalist. I’m (almost) scarlet for her.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Yeah, even fuckchump grifter has been reading here long enough to have some level of awareness about that. Or let’s face it, more likely Saint Daddy D had just told her off about something so she decided to SPITE him in print.

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It’s funny how far and fast her halo’s slipped. Barely 6-7 months ago she was doing Kit De W’s makeup and being fussed over on the book festival circuit for a book that was years late.
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ETA that whole article gives me the rage. I’m so glad she’s quiet and hope she STFU forever, ideally also that her, Daddy cape and Mammy gruntwork are forced to acknowledge and deal with her resentment about fostering once and for all.
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What a surprise that her earliest memory was something so dramatic. :rolleyes: My earliest memory is of being scared by a greenfly that landed on my leg when I was 3.

Her tattoos always remind me of those AI pictures that don't make any sense - the ones that distort everyday objects so that they're unrecognisable and make you feel like you're having a stroke when you look at them.
 
Naboo The Enigma said:
What a surprise that her earliest memory was something so dramatic. :rolleyes: My earliest memory is of being scared by a greenfly that landed on my leg when I was 3.

Her tattoos always remind me of those AI pictures that don't make any sense - the ones that distort everyday objects so that they're unrecognisable and make you feel like you're having a stroke when you look at them.
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Like a woman I came across on Instagram the other night.
There’s a lot to take in here, I grant you, but look at her left arm, and her photoshopped watch.

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Lazarus said:
Like a woman I came across on Instagram the other night.
There’s a lot to take in here, I grant you, but look at her left arm, and her photoshopped watch.

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Love that this girl has “fashion model” in her biog. ✨manifest it✨, girl. She looks like Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife Beth as rendered by South Park
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Jack loves to not-like-other-girls herself but she’s exactly the same as these mental wannabe influencers distorting their faces beyond all recognition, just that they do it in places in Mayfair where cocktails cost £30 and Jack does it in the Bungamansion while pretending she’s masc.
 
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