Jack Monroe #276 Breakfast at Griftany’s

[Onestorytoomany]

Im dissapointed that the pixie isn't front and centre of the buttercup yellow range in her usual pose. I mean, isn't she responsible for all this? Or have I been let down again?!

 

[kachoochoo]

"and it's like flyyyyyyying without squigs"

 

[Cucumberthunder]

It's called rebranding!!

 

[Nottonightbabe]

She no doubt inspired the yellow branding with her sunny disposition

Maybe when she met with Mr Asda she was wearing her 'you'll float too Georgie' mac? And upon seeing it he declared it the best shade of yellow ever, for the new range for the poors.

 

[PortiaControl]

Jack was actually the founding member
View attachment 1156734 q

Anyone else remember when they first came out and were called Westside? Then TQ had that song Westside that went viral was really popular so they changed it to avoid any confusion.

I started making up a serious of rhymes to console my crying baby based on "Why you sob? Russell Hobb"

Why you cry? Milk went bye
Why you yell? Nappy smell
Why you scream? Big bad dream

Etc

Contributions welcome

Why you weep? Need some sleep

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

The best thread title is still "Hold my hoverboard, Lou, the squigs want to see my new PJs", though. Or "Why you sob? Russell Hobb"

I cannot look at the staffroom kettle without saying "Why you sob?" in my head now, the brain rot is real.

Will we get Yellow Jack as the next phase replacing cap Jack and Liverpool Jack in honour of Asda's new range that she surely created with her own Mediterranean hands?

 

[ChactFecker]

Will we get Yellow Jack

Jaundice?

 

[Eurgh]

Jaundice?

SHE WAS SEVERELY PREMATURE OK???

 

[ChactFecker]

SHE WAS SEVERELY PREMATURE OK???

10 years prem?

#1978truther

 

[SarcasticEllis]

She’s not going to be the face of this new Asda range is she?!?!

 

[Smeghead]

I started making up a serious of rhymes to console my crying baby based on "Why you sob? Russell Hobb"

Why you cry? Milk went bye
Why you yell? Nappy smell
Why you scream? Big bad dream

Etc

Contributions welcome

Why you snooze? Liverpool lose
Why you poo and pee? Monroe recipe?

 

[Switchstreetz]

All of you inventing these sex Jack ditties....don't throw out your court outfits just yet, cause I'm suing for emotional damages.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

She’s not going to be the face of this new Asda range is she?!?!

Imagine if that's why she's been so quiet!!

Spoiler: Inventing Anna

Anna just started eating burger and chips left on the subway...just like our smol pixie...Is inventing Anna the life story someone offered to buy from Jack?!

 

[Satisfying Click]

Inventing Jack: "What are you waring, you don't look poor!"

 

[Kittypops]

What's going to happen to all the pre-packaged "Smart Price" stock?

I can only presume that, because it's exactly the same as the pricey stuff, it'll get cleared off the shelves, de-packaged (yes, this will include liquids, such as wet beans) and repackaged either as:

1. Asda upper class: "Asda Finest"
2. Asda working class, pov stuff: "Asda Essensuals" (Sex Jack, Sex Jack, sensual with the rinsed beans, YEAH!)

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I bet she is twitching wanting to make alopecia all about her but she has probably realised this is one identity she can’t just co-opt as it would raise too many suspicions as the squiggs are starting to question

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[HotesTilaire]

I started making up a serious of rhymes to console my crying baby based on "Why you sob? Russell Hobb"

Why you cry? Milk went bye
Why you yell? Nappy smell
Why you scream? Big bad dream

Etc

Contributions welcome

Why you baby? Smol pixie, maybe?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Sex Jack, Sex Jack,
Her work effort's slack,
Met with Mr Asda
in her Pennywise Mac

Maybe she is working with Asda and this is our aneurysm??

 

[FlashBoof]

I haven’t shopped in Asda for a long time. Kinda glad now if they are in cahoots with the grifter extraordinaire.

PS - I quite like the yellow branding!