Jack Monroe #255 Irritation that the press were not interested in your uninteresting life

[Thank(space)you]

I have two, I am a left handed dyspraxic too, but always managed a cheap tin opener. I had no choice. So I don't always get some people can't use them. I get it's very difficult but you can if you try.

Surely you mean you have three? Maybe you can find one in a muddy puddle

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

I loved it when we were all at conference. Happy memories.

Was that the one where it was suggested we pull our pants down or sumfin or nuffin?
Yeah, happy days.

 

['EllsBells]

It reminds me of those Big Sleep Out events (which incidentally Jack has done) where middle class people play at being homeless for the night. Although God forbid a homeless perspn actually tries to join them... they get moved on.

In such poor taste.

We had a JM-type activist (ie useless) arrange a tent city for the homeless a few years ago locally. A few celebs got involved but didn't actually spend any time just got a few photo ops and skidaddled back to the posh hotel where they landed their helicopters. There are some fabulous support agencies locally who spend time building up empathetic relationships with their clients to help them achieve the best outcome for the client. Funnily enough they were never invited to take part in the tent city which never was repeated anywhere near by.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

It's sad, isn't it. The squigs are so full of hope... And we know exactly what's to come.

Ooh, I feel as if I'm being really snippy towards Jack this eve. Oh well, never mind.

Has she done a flit? Where is she? Normally when squigs assemble she's there in a nap second?! Where are you? Your squigs needs resquigged?

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Has she done a flit? Where is she? Normally when squigs assemble she's there in a nap second?! Where are you? Your squigs needs resquigged?

My god, what if this makes her drop off social all together? She could get some decent cash out of those stupid patreonellas for the next xmonths and maybe…get a job??

 

['EllsBells]

Aye, same as the sex work. Eek not the same .

Yeah, she probably saw some hot takes about sex work on social media that got a lot of likes and wanted some kudos for regurgitating them with some embelished stories/lies of herself.

I used to have a job where sex workers used our premises for health checks. Those girls would have chewed Jack up and spit her out. Got to know some of them quite well but didn't like their pimps.

 

[kachoochoo]

the squigs will never be told. but the assumption that "most people don't have a tin opener" is a new kind of madness

I can only assume that kind of thought comes from only eating fresh food, no tins ever cos they're for the poor plebs who can't even open tins!

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

I’m eagerly awaiting the photo of Jack hunched at a table, pens all over the shop in the do not touch jar, papers everywhere saying that SB took the photo to show everyone how tired Mamapapa is while he softly placed some cornflakes at the table.

Obviously the lad is with his Dad and the photo is on a self timer, but as with anything Jack related never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

 

[Candytuft]

Has she done a flit? Where is she? Normally when squigs assemble she's there in a nap second?! Where are you? Your squigs needs resquigged?

She is having a lovely time with her friends.

 

[Orphan_Black]

I think she actually has SB this weekend, hence the quietness.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I think she actually has SB this weekend, hence the quietness.

Or she went on a bender after her Hank’s lunch. I still think that’s a possibility excuse-wise for the Vanishing Bumpf Index

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Even if the tin opener thing Is true surely a request to the trussel trust would be advisable, no?

Hey guys could you put out that the quid tin openers make it into the donation box? Or even a fancy one of you can spare the cash.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Helped launch it, then never spoke of it again

Went to the launch party event and drank the free booze perhaps?

 

[Candytuft]

Squigs must be in a kind of surreal bonkers bubble. If poors can’t afford a tin opener then maybe they could just eat themselves. There must be something in nails and arm hair. Tears have salt. Hang on. SOIL. Lots of stuff in that. No device needed apart from hands.
I can honestly imagine them thinking like this.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I loved it when we were all at conference. Happy memories.

Or in our undeclared aff link era - the things a frau would do to see a 100% acrylic cat balaclava paired with steam punk leggings once more when will the cheese £1 era end?

 

[Hollaaa]

Or in our undeclared aff link era - the things a frau would do to see a 100% acrylic cat balaclava paired with steam punk leggings once more when will the cheese £1 era end?

Soon, I hope. Send forensos!

 

[L3moning]

I know this is Ocado but at £2.50 per kg tinned potatoes are nonsensical - even new potatoes are better value? Or for the same £1 you can buy yourself over twice the potatoes fresh…?
View attachment 1043948 q
View attachment 1043949 q

Tinned potatoes are about 30-40p for 300g in Tesco. Assuming it's 35p that would be £1.17 / kg. Although assuming it's based on drained weight (which is 180g) then that's closer to £2.50 / kg

 

[HotesTilaire]

This is the real deal, the Vacant Brain Index means I reckon we’re on track for a hospital bed sad face selfie. Possibly with cannula in hand (they stick one in as protocol half the time, I had one at a&e once and they never actually put anything in- thanks lads I was hoping for the good tit, not oral paracetamol ffs) hopefully some piles of generic low-risk prescription meds boxes (was it omeperazole last time? basically, heartburn tablets)

 

[indigocat]

It reminds me of those Big Sleep Out events (which incidentally Jack has done) where middle class people play at being homeless for the night. Although God forbid a homeless perspn actually tries to join them... they get moved on.

In such poor taste.

HR, psychology, marketing and management 101. Silly Jack.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a pyramid of the needs that motivate people. Individuals most basic needs, at the base of the pyramid, are physiological. Once they have fulfilled these needs, people move on to their safety needs, social well-being, self-esteem then ultimately their need for...

www.simplypsychology.org

This is the real deal, the Vacant Brain Index means I reckon we’re on track for a hospital bed sad face selfie. Possibly with cannula in hand (they stick one in as protocol half the time, I had one at a&e once and they never actually put anything in- thanks lads I was hoping for the good tit, not oral paracetamol ffs) hopefully some piles of generic low-risk prescription meds boxes (was it omeperazole last time? basically, heartburn tablets)

She should at the very least aim for cocodamol if not oramorph.

 

[HotesTilaire]

HR, psychology, marketing and management 101. Silly Jack.

View attachment 1044729 q

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a pyramid of the needs that motivate people. Individuals most basic needs, at the base of the pyramid, are physiological. Once they have fulfilled these needs, people move on to their safety needs, social well-being, self-esteem then ultimately their need for...

www.simplypsychology.org

She should at the very least aim for cocodamol if not oramorph.

I’m sure it will be more of a heart problem or tomato allergy