Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[ChickenPorridge]

Aww and she can't even come on as a guest because she is already a literal expert in cooking

 

[RachAgnes]

Ahahaha the shade towards Jack in that last line
Tom would offer Marcus a job in his kitchen - 'he obviously hadn't tasted his meatballs' - that was Jack's recipe
Oh my.
And surely mentioning smol pixie earlier in the article was the time to mention her involvement. But no. How strange

Also interesting Russell Brand is mentioned......

 

[Lanie]

I'm backing you up here Harry, Ian is cheekily cute and intelligent.

Actual proper meals, no nonsense with fruity curries and other bizarre combinations!

I don't know, not sure about the fish pie jacket. Sounds a bit fucked up.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Harry mate, are you quite well? I'm beginning to get concerned you've rolled your eyeballs so hard at Jack's antics that they did a Sonic the Hedgehog spin dash and took off at high speed leaving you completely without sight.

Fair enough Hotes, I wouldn't fulfil my promises if you did pay me anyway (because I'm BUSY) so it all evens out

 

[HotesTilaire]

@HotesTilaire Mother of God, please change your avatar. It's terrifying.

Shan’t!
You asked for that Harry, now duck off and shag Hislop

 

[Orphan_Black]

I don't know, not sure about the fish pie jacket. Sounds a bit fucked up.

I'm thinking that's fish pie filling on a jacket potato? (Terrible Jack-esque name though!)

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

I think it's pretty safe to say her 'intensive, all day treatment' is as suspected, some kind of rehab

If this is the case, what are the bets that she already has a 'tell all' lined up...

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

We went on a cruise for our honeymoon with an American company and they had onboard meetings under the title “Friends of Bill” and for NA it was “Friends of Jimmy”. If you knew you knew if you didn’t it was inconspicuous

A friend of Bill friend of mine, a typical oul Irishman, went looking for a meeting on a holiday in New York. On the list there was a "Rainbow" meeting, and he thought "ah shur aren't the Yanks very colourful, that one sounds like good craic." He said he really enjoyed it too!

 

[Emmapism]

Russell Brand is involved!

BWAHAHAHAHA!

She followed him recently didn't she? I mean if that's the quality of the celeb guest then maybe R Jackie is in with a chance to be taught by Tom Kerridge. What a wonderful opportunity for her to learn some cookery skills if so.

 

[MancBee]

If this is the case, what are the bets that she already has a 'tell all' lined up...

I think even the Guardian are getting bored of her now. When was her last proper article? I don't mean the advertorials she's been doing of late, she hasn't had a proper article for ages. She's old news.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

1411) Twatbot. Tells you you're a twit.

View attachment 542165 q

If you subscribe to my Patreon at the £10 tier I'll tell you to get to absolute duck as well which for Jack would be like a prescription pre-payment certificate.

I’m fully on board with this, sign me up!

 

[fauxpoor]

We don't want her up here thank you very much. Once was more than enough. She couldn't wait to get home though, Manchester obviously too scummy for her.

Think Manchester (and other nearby major cities *cough cough* are far too AUTHENTIC and REAL for the likes of Jack.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Think Manchester (and other nearby major cities *cough cough* are far too AUTHENTIC and REAL for the likes of Jack.

Blackpool would also like to join the official NW “too real for you Jack, do piss off there’s a dear” zone

 

[Carmina-Piranha]

I think even the Guardian are getting bored of her now. When was her last proper article? I don't mean the advertorials she's been doing of late, she hasn't had a proper article for ages. She's old news.

Also the Guardian have had a clear out of journos, so the connections may not be there anymore...

 

[fauxpoor]

And the plants.

And her SON

Blackpool would also like to join the official NW “too real for you Jack, do piss off there’s a dear” zone

Let's just say anywhere north of Southend to be on the safe side.

 

[kachoochoo]

1411) Twatbot. Tells you you're a twit.

View attachment 542165 q

If you subscribe to my Patreon at the £10 tier I'll tell you to get to absolute duck as well which for Jack would be like a prescription pre-payment certificate.

this is perfection and I love you

 

[Orphan_Black]

 

[Mr Krabs]

View attachment 542186 q living for the fact he says teaching his guests to cook. Good luck with that one dear Tom

I wonder if this will include schools in Southend because holy sheeeeeet if SB comes home with some lovely recipe cards and stories about his cookery lessons.

 

[Shawads]

Spoiler: Spoiler FAO @blurst

Hey @blurstoftimes apols for the super late reply, massive post work grunka and then kids etc, am awake now due to poorly tummy minishawads (seems to be wind, phew)
Anyhoo. In response to your message and our inability to DM each other..
Thanks so much for your kindness, I'm predominantly veggie, my health works better purely plant based but its hard to stick to and kids aren't keen.
I can't eat quorn as it makes me get an ouchy.
In an Ideal world I'd be cooking one meal for us all, we don't enjoy the same things and my lazy style of takeaway and ready meals means their individual tastes are really pandered to.
They're overly fussy and I fully accept that's my fault.
They like most of the food kids like, pasta things, and simple recognisable food.
I struggle with chopping or standing for long periods. Please don't go to lots of trouble. I note other posters had suggested a separate thread for this, I don't want to derail here. And thanks so much.
I love this cabal.

@People-huv-tae-know I couldn't comment on the last thread but your post on there was epic

 

[Jelly Bean]

I just re read the GQ interview - the shade about Jack's meatballs is funnier than I thought. The writer of the piece was there on the day of the six inch heels scampering. Marcus 'groans' remembering it. So not an entirely joyful memory then. It is the writer, Paul Henderson, who comments at the end about the how bad the meatballs were.