Jack Monroe #161 Jack Monroe is away, yo

[colouredlines]

Where are the scheduled tweets of sponcon we were promised while she was AWAY? We're all sitting here clutching our unused tins of prunes, Jack! Throw us a bone!

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Meanwhile Del Monte Europe's social media team have gone up in a puff of smoke. Almost tempted to message them and ask where the promised Jack Monroe recipes are at

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Meanwhile Del Monte Europe's social media team have gone up in a puff of smoke. Almost tempted to message them and ask where the promised Jack Monroe recipes are at

It'll be like the announcement about Arthur Dent's house being demolished in Hitchhiker's, but posted on some obscure diary site frequented exclusively by edgy teenagers and Jack instead.

 

[Professor Slop]

Omg

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Omg

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This "natural" crap really gets on my nerves.

Yes, bicarb of soda is found naturally, however the vast majority (i.e. the type you buy in the supermarket) is manufactured. It might be a lovely "hack" (we know it's not since Jack has mentioned it, but still) but it isn't natural.

 

[Orphan_Black]

This "natural" crap really gets on my nerves.

Yes, bicarb of soda is found naturally, however the vast majority (i.e. the type you buy in the supermarket) is manufactured. It might be a lovely "hack" (we know it's not since Jack has mentioned it, but still) but it isn't natural.

I like it when people say they're 'anti-chemicals' errrrrm, so you exist on anti matter then? Everything is technically a chemical!

 

[FrumpyCat]

That’s her story, and she’s sticking to it

No,no, no, you have got it all wrong. Jack took a step back from television work, it was her choice. She said so, loads of times.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I shake n vac'd my carpets yesterday. Found an ancient tub in the cupboard. It smelled ok but even my Dyson couldn't get it all out.

The carpets felt gritty and a bit...greasy. i should've used granola.

 

[onlysunshine]

I shake n vac'd my carpets yesterday. Found an ancient tub in the cupboard. It smelled ok but even my Dyson couldn't get it all out.

The carpets felt gritty and a bit...greasy. i should've used granola.

@Into_the_tunnel Dino is getting all up in your niche here...

 

[kachoochoo]

I've been wondering for ages, why are tories etc referred to as gammon or ham? Is it just another way of calling them pigs?

it's because a great many of angry white elderly men who turn up in the audience of question time and suchlike get so worked up, they take on a florid complexion. as exhibited in this classic meme

 

[Emmapism]

I use carpet fresh. It's a quid. Loads of chemicals. Carpets are clean and smell nice though #EmsHacks

I've made a few eco switches but I don't know if I could sprinkle garden detritus throughout my home

 

[DrtCrl]

Tragic how desperate she is to get in there with a viral hot take.

A few days ago it was all "needing to be present for her loved ones" now it's "sentient ham this, and sentient gammon that".

She's an utter balloon.

‘An utter balloon’ is truly the most glorious insult I’ve ever heard. Good show dear heart.

ETA spelling, ain’t it.

 

[Scarletfever]

I know squiggle was trying to be kind but

 

[Hollaaa]

The gammon/ham thing when used in relation to Tories also vaguely recalls that thing about David Cameron and the terrible horrible thing that he did in his student days.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

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I know squiggle was trying to be kind but

Actually squiggle, I think you'll find she has 4½ GCSE's thank space you

 

[traumatised sideboard]

She's such a tool at this point she should just embrace her inner Myspace teen and change her name to xX_JaCk_cALaMiTy_Xx. It's actually been 39 days since we've been telling her to take the wheelchair emoji out of her name. This is the hill I am likely to expire on.

 

[DrtCrl]

I’m so happy she’s back. The rest of social media is an actual hellfire at the moment and I’ve missed not being able to keep up with how quickly the threads are moving due to the forensic Jack analysis from the cabal

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Omg

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Up on the table with the shake & vac song fraus " it's all you've got to do / you do the shake & vac & put the freshness back/ do the fesh & vac & put the freshness back

 

[Lanie]

Christ on a bike so a bloke who had literally whinged about Megan and Harry since they got on the airplane to greener pastures as moaned and now left his job and miss I tweet for attention thinks she had a hand in it... Erm... Erm.... Nope no words!

 

[MaineCoonMama]

@traumatised sideboard that wheelchair emoji. There should be laws in place to stop that kind of BS.

See you on the hill.

 

[Vanelope]

So she’s taken all the rest of the stuff out of her bio and left the wheelchair in? Or is it all still underneath? Am still off Twitter