Jack Monroe #126 Dangling her fl*ps over a Cotswold sideboard like none of it matters

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I’m having a Jack break at the moment (can’t believe I’ve missed her having COVID, bet that was... interesting) but wanted to wish everyone one a Happy New Year for those who aren’t on the food and drink thread! I also hope everyone had a good Christmas and was gifted an abundance of Cotswold furniture and Burberry scarves 🎉
 
She’d have had the most stressful wedding planning ever, much worse than anyone else who had to plan their wedding. She would have ended up with burnout.
Oh but oh she would have LOVED the opportunity to write angry fiction about how caterers/chair dressing companies/seamstresses/florists gave her tit or refused to take her as a client because she’s a lesbian/has tattoos/is “white trash that breeds”. And none of it would have happened.
 
Oh god imagine her getting up with a mic before the first dance 😂 “hi I’m Jack Monroe, cook, author, activist, bride, and accidental conquerer of my fears now when I sing you this song. I haven’t sang in 10 years since I had to sell my piano, except for all the other times I have sang”
 
Repost after hasty delete due to not squiggling name in reply! This was in response to the DKL video on FB. Remember no-one works as hard as our Jack.

HNY Cabal dwellers!
 

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Fitnessqueen said:
Repost after hasty delete due to not squiggling name in reply! This was in response to the DKL video on FB. Remember no-one works as hard as our Jack.

HNY Cabal dwellers!
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she’s so ridiculous, it just reinforces that she isn’t cut out for a career that involves being on telly. If it’s too much for her for 2 weeks then how would she manage it full time
 
ReginaPhalangee said:
I don’t get it 🙈
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I believe our learned friend here is speculating that our jack may be utilising her drawer full of adult items (that she may or may not be putting through her expenses to the horror of the accountant Sunday school teacher) in order to generate power for her electric fire. or something like that 🥴

once again, this is pure speculation m'lud

eta @Sideboard Bob has explained it much more succinctly than I. a thousand apologies as iirc, you are not fond of essays
 
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