Jack Monroe #126 Dangling her fl*ps over a Cotswold sideboard like none of it matters

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Jaysus could you imagine “wedding on a bootstrap”
- outfits “made” on the sewing machine
- knitted corsages
- crockery from the shed with tarnished cutlery
- Brexit tin stash and fishy egg del monte breakfast buffet
- pass ag”know your place” wedding speech
- wedding cake distributed to guests according to “fanny proximity” or lack thereof
 
HotesTilaire said:
Jaysus could you imagine “wedding on a bootstrap”
- outfits “made” on the sewing machine
- knitted corsages
- crockery from the shed with tarnished cutlery
- Brexit tin stash and fishy egg del monte breakfast buffet
- pass ag”know your place” wedding speech
- wedding cake distributed to guests according to “fanny proximity” or lack thereof
Click to expand...

Genius!! 👏🏻🤣👏🏻 the wedding cake, omg!
You know, “Wedding On A Bootstrap“ is the one hypothetical book of hers I would actually buy, for the lols.

ETA 🥕 this reminds me of an epic Facebook argument. 🔺 (Years ago I was engaged, but never made it up the isle🤣 )🔺
There was a wedding FB page, where this argument broke out over the price, and value of a good wedding photographer, it went back and forth until one person said ‘Look! It’s not like I’m going to rock up with a disposable camera, wearing a bin bag, and say “duck it, this will do!”’.... but now we know who would!
 
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HotesTilaire said:
Jaysus could you imagine “wedding on a bootstrap”
- outfits “made” on the sewing machine
- knitted corsages
- crockery from the shed with tarnished cutlery
- Brexit tin stash and fishy egg del monte breakfast buffet
- pass ag”know your place” wedding speech
- wedding cake distributed to guests according to “fanny proximity” or lack thereof
Click to expand...
Tweets to request your pitch for cheif bridesmaid position.
All the trips to the postoffice with the HANDWRITTEN invites.
The many postponements.

She has waited her whole damn life for this day.
 
Happy New Year Fraus!

Came across this video online and now all I want from 2021 is some kind of YouTube video where Jack and Paris Hilton compete to make the 'best' lasagne for a panel of judges 😂

If you skip to about 12:05 you can see Paris even has her own pair of quirky onion sunglasses! She must be aware of jack's work!

 
Wedding. There would be ‘chaos’ the night before. Random ailments or injuries would occur and her father would have to give a stern speech. He’d put on his uniform and medals (incl MBE) and say:

‘You are a bird in traaaazers. Put on the healing red lipstick and summon all your Greek and Norn Irish hybrid energy. You MUST get up that aisle. Think of their credit rating!!’
 
HotesTilaire said:
Jaysus could you imagine “wedding on a bootstrap”
- outfits “made” on the sewing machine
- knitted corsages
- crockery from the shed with tarnished cutlery
- Brexit tin stash and fishy egg del monte breakfast buffet
- pass ag”know your place” wedding speech
- wedding cake distributed to guests according to “fanny proximity” or lack thereof
Click to expand...
This just ended me. 🤣🤣
 
HotesTilaire said:
Jaysus could you imagine “wedding on a bootstrap”
- outfits “made” on the sewing machine
- knitted corsages
- crockery from the shed with tarnished cutlery
- Brexit tin stash and fishy egg del monte breakfast buffet
- pass ag”know your place” wedding speech
- wedding cake distributed to guests according to “fanny proximity” or lack thereof
Click to expand...
I thought I saw, back in the day, tweets from our heroine talking about offering something like 100ml glasses of fizz instead of 125ml to their guests to get costs down. It stood out as it just seemed mean, rather than canny. (Also completely impractical for the waiting staff...).
 
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ChocolateTeapot said:
I thought I saw, back in the day, tweets from our heroine talking about offering something like 100ml glasses of fizz instead of 125ml to their guests to get costs down. It stood out as it just seemed mean, rather than canny. (Also completely impractical for the waiting staff...).
Click to expand...


That is so freaking miserable! 6 glasses to a bottle, and even they feel like tiny glasses.
 
HotesTilaire said:
Jaysus could you imagine “wedding on a bootstrap”
- outfits “made” on the sewing machine
- knitted corsages
- crockery from the shed with tarnished cutlery
- Brexit tin stash and fishy egg del monte breakfast buffet
- pass ag”know your place” wedding speech
- wedding cake distributed to guests according to “fanny proximity” or lack thereof
Click to expand...

I remember a post about using small glasss for champagne/asking advice about smol glasss to get more servings per bottle. Something really stingy at least*. (That was when I had not yet muted her).

*Stingy for a person not having to live on a shoestring at least

ChocolateTeapot said:
I thought I saw, back in the day, tweets from our heroine talking about offering something like 100ml glasses of fizz instead of 125ml to their guests to get costs down. It stood out as it just seemed mean, rather than canny. (Also completely impractical for the waiting staff...).
Click to expand...

Ah, yes, this what what I meant (was reading up and had not seen your post yet)
 
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