Jack Monroe #121 Fahrenheit 106

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

She’s such a bleeping teenager. I think someone needs to send her the definition of ‘brave’ along with ‘poor’. Honestly there is nothing wrong with her self confidence, she thinks she’s great.
Also her piano playing is terrible. Did mummy and daddy not pay for lessons, but she owned a piano?

 

[Readingismyhobby]

RE the OASIS video: it’s almost 9 minutes long and the singing only begins at almost 6 minutes in. The fuckkkkkk is wrong with her?

The faux nervy voice and piercing stare are quite something, too. It felt like a tiny glimpse into Simon Cowell’s world during peak 2000’s X Factor auditions...

The acting “just a nervous person “ trying my best routine! This (IMO) shows how fake she is and why she can lie so convincingly. The shark eyes throughout, no genuine emotion.

 

[Alansbigplate]

I guess cos of BoJo bubble buddy is stuck with Long-covid Jack for Christmas

 

[Nottonightbabe]

That's the first time I've seen the piano videos, fraus I am dead! The New England chorus!

Just showed them to Mr Nottonight, to show him that the impression I did for him way back, of her warbling opera while plinking the piano with one hand, was in fact spot on .

 

[JuliaGulia]

I refuse to watch her doing anything vaguely 'musical', what she does to food is bad enough.

Vaguely musical is all she can manage, with 6 minutes of disclaimers at the beginning of each video

 

[MrsOgre]

Made me think of good old Les

 

[JuliaGulia]

Made me think of good old Les

Awwww, I loved Les when I was little! ❤

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I guess cos of BoJo bubble buddy is stuck with Long-covid Jack for Christmas

... and Ant from Ant and Dec by the looks of things!

 

[Puddy Muddle]

Fahrenheit 106 is brilliant. And can only mean it's time for a ceremonial book-burning. I can think of a few candidates ...

 

[Jelly Bean]

Here’s the Oasis one...
Enjoy?




Edited to add, @Minky McMoneypenny @Pocahontas @Flivver thankSPACEyou all for respectively starting the thread, the hilarious recap, and perfect thread title!

O. M.G.
The studied silent staring at the floor and ickle broken voice about how scared she feels. The humblebrags - Glastonbury, Pride of Britain. And then the pisspoor song.
How the duck could she watch that back and then put it in the public domain?
It is like she is playing at it the whole time - 'watch me - this time I'm being vulnerable and scared' whereas to do that in the first place shows you have a highly inflated opinion of yourself.

 

[Pocahontas]

O. M.G.
The studied silent staring at the floor and ickle broken voice about how scared she feels. The humblebrags - Glastonbury, Pride of Britain. And then the pisspoor song.
How the duck could she watch that back and then put it in the public domain?
It is like she is playing at it the whole time - 'watch me - this time I'm being vulnerable and scared' whereas to do that in the first place shows you have a highly inflated opinion of yourself.

I just played this to the husband and he started moaning ‘no, no, no’ when she started talking and then a louder ‘No’ when she started to sing.
It’s astounding how someone can be so blindsided by themselves

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

O. M.G.
The studied silent staring at the floor and ickle broken voice about how scared she feels. The humblebrags - Glastonbury, Pride of Britain. And then the pisspoor song.
How the duck could she watch that back and then put it in the public domain?
It is like she is playing at it the whole time - 'watch me - this time I'm being vulnerable and scared' whereas to do that in the first place shows you have a highly inflated opinion of yourself.

Yeah that shows how calculated and planned it is. She kept reiterating about if she would publish it online, knowing full well she would. The tremors in her voice are a convincing touch to all but the Cabal. She managed to make herself sound very vulnerable but still can't help sneaking in those wee brags as you say. She was definitely hoping this would get picked up by a scout. My BIl and a few of his colleagues have actually been approached by X factor scouts in the past looking to poach gifted students. Usually they are politely told to duck off because the reality shows have no credibility in the music world.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Amazed at the bravery of those of you who've managed to sit through these "music" vids. I'm scared that I'd actually cringe myself to death.

I can't bring myself to listen to the singing. The piano is bad enough, what the heck is she doing to it?

 

[lilamay]

Aw, still no reply for this squiggle?

 

[Tabitha D]

*Insert Ryan Reynolds but why? GIF here*

I’d bet most of the new followers are there for the chaos, not the recipes.

 

[waffle maker]

I’d bet most of the new followers are there for the chaos, not the recipes.

People who catch COVID and tweet about it got loads of followers earlier in the year. Jack missed her chance really though as we all know someone whose had it now. I’m sure she will start mentioning she has the new strain though, to stay relevant.

 

[MrsOgre]

Jack liked these posts, dear god will she ever stop. I've got a friend like this, I posted on fb about not being able to get a vegan hot chocolate at Costa and I was told soya milk is bad for thyroid I don't even have anything wrong with my thyroid

Anyway Jack has never seen a rheumatologist or has ever been on those medications, she just likes to think she is, same that she tells everyone she is a full time single mum(mom). She will be lying low to ensure everyone is worried and will give her even more attention. Will the next post be like the glittery black eye, live from her bed in hospital?

 

[schmetterling]

Shoutout to my insomnia fraus cackling at the cabal’s forensic appraisal of Jack’s musical abilities.

ps she sounds posh. Source: I am quite posh (sorry!!)

 

[Khe91]

This is how I imagine Beethoven sat at his piano

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Can you imagine Jack’s caption? I’m just a working class urchin from the east end but look at ME and everything I’ve done for you lot patreon in bio sweeties