For anybody struggling ❤

1
My mental health is dipping at the moment and I’m struggling.
It’s been months but I’m struggling with heartbreak. I genuinely feel this could kill me. I can’t think straight, I can’t concentrate, I’m tearful. I’m just hurting so much. I’m afraid I’m boring my friends going on and on and on about it. I can’t seem to forget and let go. I know I need to but I can’t and it hurts. It’s like a dull ache in my chest that overwhelms me.
Some days are better than others. He was my friend. A good friend. I have so many regrets taking this further. Overstepping the line between friends and sex. I feel like a fool. I feel like an idiot.
I’ve had lots of advice. I am trying very hard. I’m working on me. It’s just now it’s the evening it hurts. I wish he was here with me and I hate myself for thinking that because he doesn’t care.
 
Good Egg said:
My mental health is dipping at the moment and I’m struggling.
It’s been months but I’m struggling with heartbreak. I genuinely feel this could kill me. I can’t think straight, I can’t concentrate, I’m tearful. I’m just hurting so much. I’m afraid I’m boring my friends going on and on and on about it. I can’t seem to forget and let go. I know I need to but I can’t and it hurts. It’s like a dull ache in my chest that overwhelms me.
Some days are better than others. He was my friend. A good friend. I have so many regrets taking this further. Overstepping the line between friends and sex. I feel like a fool. I feel like an idiot.
I’ve had lots of advice. I am trying very hard. I’m working on me. It’s just now it’s the evening it hurts. I wish he was here with me and I hate myself for thinking that because he doesn’t care.
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It is devastating when you care so much and they care so little. I can never comprehend how people just donf seem to care about others feelings at all.
 
The Sunday night blues have hit.

Honestly feel like just giving up on life. I've always been so driven and ambitious and now I've been through this tragedy and it's made me realise many members of my own family wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire and i just question what the point of this all is.

It is nothing personal against me, it just wouldnt occur to them to think outside their own self centredness. The selfishness is off the scale and I just can't tolerate it anymore.

I feel like such a fool and so taken advantage of.
 
I've spent 2 and a half years divorcing someone who is extremely difficult. In that time I've had to adjust my work hours because he decided to live in what could best be described as a bedsit (despite earning 60k a year), so he couldn't share care for our children.

He's just bought a house and is now refusing to have the children in line with my shift pattern, despite that need clearly being specified in various correspondence over the last two years.

I don't understand how some people can be such awful human beings. This is so very deliberate which makes it harder to understand.

What sort of person prevents someone from earning a living?
 
not_influenced said:
It's been a week. Celebrating my birthday & my parents & siblings forgot, got the day wrong or didn't acknowledge it. For their birthdays I send cards, gifts (small token/voucher). I really struggled for the entire day. Firstly feeling stupid at texting or thinking of them & their own families birthdays & secondly just so sick and tired of being the invisible child.
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So sorry, and I know what it's like.
I had a birthday ending in 0 last year. My mother sent me an empty card. She never bothers sending me a card, so this was deliberately done, and meant to hurt. I can't even explain. It's not about gifts, and thankfully I don't need anything, materially. But the fact that she dug out a card to send it with that intention, is something else.

Anyway I hope you're okay. I have stepped back and re-evaluated, in such situations. Spend the gift money that you spent on them, on yourself, in future, is my advice. 🤗
 
Having a parent with mental health issues is so very tough
All my life.
And even now, when I’ve been married for so long. I look back at how often I’m manipulated or put down or mad to feel not good enough or used as a dumping ground whenever the really low mood hits, and I just weep for all those years.
I’m packing for a weekend away, which I now don’t want to go on, because a mood has hit.
If it’s not depression, it’s jealousy because someone is doing something they’re not, or has something they don’t have.
I’ve been quite low myself for ages now. That never registers in fact I’m scorned for getting so stressed.
I drop everything whenever I’m needed, and not wanted really when they’re in a good mood
Just needed to unload it all because I feel a bit done
 
ATV2021 said:
My grandparents house has been done up and resold. After a horrendous week at work its really hit me.
Friends don't get it. I tried to reach out, I need to stop trying tbh.
It was the house from my childhood. The one until the very end (my Mum died a couple of years before they did so it was a safe place). Now it's really gone, and it's really hit me. Just needed to blah somewhere as my "friends" just give bollox stock responses
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I could have written this. Did u ever consider buying ur grandparents house? I only ask as I agonised over this but in the end didn’t feel like I could be the one to make changes/ redecorate and would have kept it almost like a shrine which i know would not have been right.

It’s so hard isn’t it. I have no advice. I just empathise. Sending hugs & healing ur way 💓
 
Sheila Bloom said:
I could have written this. Did u ever consider buying ur grandparents house? I only ask as I agonised over this but in the end didn’t feel like I could be the one to make changes/ redecorate and would have kept it almost like a shrine which i know would not have been right.

It’s so hard isn’t it. I have no advice. I just empathise. Sending hugs & healing ur way 💓
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I did but it really did require SO much work and I already have my own home (which that sale helped me clear some of the mortgage of!). It looks amazing, it's definitely what I said I'd have done to it but it still felt very odd (and I'll never get over them ruining that garden. It was amazing and now it's just plain and a nothing)
 
ATV2021 said:
I did but it really did require SO much work and I already have my own home (which that sale helped me clear some of the mortgage of!). It looks amazing, it's definitely what I said I'd have done to it but it still felt very odd (and I'll never get over them ruining that garden. It was amazing and now it's just plain and a nothing)
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I know exactly what u mean. The older gen really care for their gardens etc and the younger gen generally dont get it.

It’s a really hard situation. It’s hard to let go. Rationally we know it’s bricks and mortar but emotionally it’s all the memories that are attached. But we will always have these memories and need to just hold on to them 🥰
 
Hey guys

Fella dumped me by text over weekend we'd fallen out on Friday over something daft worked through it he left said we'd sort it we'd be fine and 3 hours later I'm dumped not only that he got his family to fight his battle ill never forgive him for this just very sad that I thought he was different but now I see I was love bombed he said he loved me on first date first couple of months showered me with gifts weekends away etc then for the last month he was doing less than the bare minimum hardly replying and wondered why I got confused now on my own again probably better off
 
I’ve been diagnosed with depression, I’m doing my best to fight it: I’ve had one bout of 6 hours therapy and o know what to do.
But it’s a case of knowing what to do, but actually doing it.
I’m at a stage that I know when it occurs and trying to stop it getting worse. It’s tough still though, I’m teary and I just feel knackered all of the time. Probably due to the meds.

I don’t know, I just feel so isolated, tired and just worn down by everythin.
 
Dogtanian said:
I’ve been diagnosed with depression, I’m doing my best to fight it: I’ve had one bout of 6 hours therapy and o know what to do.
But it’s a case of knowing what to do, but actually doing it.
I’m at a stage that I know when it occurs and trying to stop it getting worse. It’s tough still though, I’m teary and I just feel knackered all of the time. Probably due to the meds.

I don’t know, I just feel so isolated, tired and just worn down by everythin.
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Sometimes when depression is hitting bad it helps to just manage your expectations. Knowing that doing 5 things (or whatever it is) will make it better is great, when you’re feeling in a good place. When you’re not, that’s one hell of a mountain. Breaking it right down to one thing, or one part of one thing can help. Sometimes it’s an achievement just to brush your hair or your teeth or drink 8 glasses of water in a day or spend 5 minutes walking outside or listening to one song you like that lifts your spirits (or is really loud and thrash and lets you feel, whatever your jam is!) or anything. In recovery they talk about one day at a time and if it can’t be one day at a time, it’s one hour at a time, or one minute. Apathy is an enormous part of depression and it’s a tough nut to crack.
 
Dogtanian said:
I’ve been diagnosed with depression, I’m doing my best to fight it: I’ve had one bout of 6 hours therapy and o know what to do.
But it’s a case of knowing what to do, but actually doing it.
I’m at a stage that I know when it occurs and trying to stop it getting worse. It’s tough still though, I’m teary and I just feel knackered all of the time. Probably due to the meds.

I don’t know, I just feel so isolated, tired and just worn down by everythin.
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What things have they suggested you do? Maybe we could work through them together?

I’m also struggling. You are not alone. x
 
I had a job interview today and it went terribly. I know I didn’t get the job. I really struggle with interviews and just panic with long pauses and stutters. They kept me waiting for ages and the interviewer was literally shaking her head at one of my answers. Had an interview last month and didn’t get the job then either. I feel like a total failure. It’s been a difficult couple of years and just want something to go my way for a change.
 
thegreencow said:
I had a job interview today and it went terribly. I know I didn’t get the job. I really struggle with interviews and just panic with long pauses and stutters. They kept me waiting for ages and the interviewer was literally shaking her head at one of my answers. Had an interview last month and didn’t get the job then either. I feel like a total failure. It’s been a difficult couple of years and just want something to go my way for a change.
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I’m sorry, I hate interviewers like that. I’m a nervous interviewee myself and so when I’m recruiting, it’s important to me to try and put people at ease, so they can feel they gave it their best shot. No, it still might not be enough to secure the job but you should at least make it a positive experience for them!
 
ThisIsMyDragName said:
I’m sorry, I hate interviewers like that. I’m a nervous interviewee myself and so when I’m recruiting, it’s important to me to try and put people at ease, so they can feel they gave it their best shot. No, it still might not be enough to secure the job but you should at least make it a positive experience for them!
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The last interview I had left me seething. I was 20 minutes early, but I had to wait for over 45 mins in a horrible waiting area, no one came out to apologise or offer me any refreshment, the main interviewer came out in jeans and a t-shirt, one person was typing during my answers which was putting me off, and the test I had to do at the end kept crashing. Finally when I left, I found out that I was locked in and I had to go back to the office to be asked to be let out. Their response was 'Oh yeah, we lock up at 5pm', and left me out. I wasn't offered it, but I wouldn't have accepted it.
 
Good Egg said:
What things have they suggested you do? Maybe we could work through them together?

I’m also struggling. You are not alone. x
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My release notes were talking about taking thoughts and deconstructing them into smaller chunks and then rationalising them. Ignoring the parts which were negative and working on the stuff which could be handled.
Trying to avoid destructive and predictive thinking. I have some time off now so I’m going to try and concentrate on myself which is more difficult than it sounds.
 
Dogtanian said:
My release notes were talking about taking thoughts and deconstructing them into smaller chunks and then rationalising them. Ignoring the parts which were negative and working on the stuff which could be handled.
Trying to avoid destructive and predictive thinking. I have some time off now so I’m going to try and concentrate on myself which is more difficult than it sounds.
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I'm a massive over thinker - not for no reason, it’s semi self protective, but two things have helped me:
The simple question: can I do anything about this right now? It sound stupid but it put a lot of things into perspective.
the second is guided meditation: insight timer is good, and if you don’t mind some god stuff; Soulspace has a lovely reader.
I’ve also recently discovered Quabble, if you don’t mind somewhat childlike things, it’s got tai chi, a duck, an opportunity to connect anonymously with strangers through the app, breathing exercises, sleep music, a gratitude jar etc, there’s also finch which gives you a reward for just getting out of bed/washing your face each day, and you can set other goals.
 
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