For anybody struggling ❤

1
Well I'm struggling again.

48 hour panic attack caused by my two teenagers (13 and 15) returning to school. They are both OK but I worry myself literally to the point of illness over everything to do with them. Their friendships, their academics, their mental health.

They're both incredibly hard work in different ways. Requiring so much hands on parenting in the form of emotional coaching and guidance. They're brilliant kids and I love and adore them but I'm about to run away / emigrate to escape the pressure.

I just feel so down and hopeless over their relationship. One hates the other. I don't know how to fix it.

I have my own mental health struggles and have done since I was a teen so my brain is ridiculous and when hard stuff happens it instantly is like ( trigger warning for suicide) this is too much to deal with, just kill yourself! which I would never do but it shows how my mind responds to challenging times.

This evening was really hard. But everyone is asleep and calm now and hopefully things will be better tmrw.
 
Shimmering said:
Well I'm struggling again.

48 hour panic attack caused by my two teenagers (13 and 15) returning to school. They are both OK but I worry myself literally to the point of illness over everything to do with them. Their friendships, their academics, their mental health.

They're both incredibly hard work in different ways. Requiring so much hands on parenting in the form of emotional coaching and guidance. They're brilliant kids and I love and adore them but I'm about to run away / emigrate to escape the pressure.

I just feel so down and hopeless over their relationship. One hates the other. I don't know how to fix it.

I have my own mental health struggles and have done since I was a teen so my brain is ridiculous and when hard stuff happens it instantly is like ( trigger warning for suicide) this is too much to deal with, just kill yourself! which I would never do but it shows how my mind responds to challenging times.

This evening was really hard. But everyone is asleep and calm now and hopefully things will be better tmrw.
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How are you feeling this morning? x
 
Good Egg said:
Does anybody feel like nobody cares about you? Like if you weren’t here nobody would care or notice. I’ve completely removed myself from social media. Nobody has rang or called or texted to see how I am? I just feel like if I disappeared for good nobody would care or even notice. I’ve spent the last three weeks in solitude apart from food shopping.
I feel so down. I’m spiralling in a pit of loneliness. A bit like the above poster except I have no partner. I’m fed up of reaching out and making the effort all the time. I just don’t see the point in anything anymore
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I feel exactly like this! There is a popular misconception that those of us with living parents and partners don’t feel this way. I have just had a health scare after my first mammogram, it’s resulted in an operation. I feel really unsupported by both my husband and my parents. He dropped me at the hospital whilst I watched others with someone supporting them, I’m independent and don’t need that but the offer would have been nice. Yesterday, I had my stitches checked and he completely forgot about saying hope it goes ok, or how did it go? This has really made me reevaluate where I am in life. I suffer with mental health issues but plough through, working full time and appearing ok. It’s the feeling that no one really cares, which has always been my trigger, it’s just being confirmed for me at the moment.
 
Idontknowwhatimdoing said:
I feel exactly like this! There is a popular misconception that those of us with living parents and partners don’t feel this way. I have just had a health scare after my first mammogram, it’s resulted in an operation. I feel really unsupported by both my husband and my parents. He dropped me at the hospital whilst I watched others with someone supporting them, I’m independent and don’t need that but the offer would have been nice. Yesterday, I had my stitches checked and he completely forgot about saying hope it goes ok, or how did it go? This has really made me reevaluate where I am in life. I suffer with mental health issues but plough through, working full time and appearing ok. It’s the feeling that no one really cares, which has always been my trigger, it’s just being confirmed for me at the moment.
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I think we all think everyone else lifes are great and ares arnt … Since my dad passed away ( I’ve also lost my mum ) I think everyone who still has both their parents have great life’s .. I can’t stop thinking that way …
 
Purple star said:
I think we all think everyone else lifes are great and ares arnt … Since my dad passed away ( I’ve also lost my mum ) I think everyone who still has both their parents have great life’s .. I can’t stop thinking that way …
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It’s really hard because I always feel like ‘at least you had parents that cared for a shorter time, rather than absent ones’ but as you say, the grass always looks greener. I think it’s just accepting your reality, not judging others and understanding all of us can feel extreme loneliness, even if it looks as though we have a partner, family, good friends. All may not be as it seems xx
 
Idontknowwhatimdoing said:
It’s really hard because I always feel like ‘at least you had parents that cared for a shorter time, rather than absent ones’ but as you say, the grass always looks greener. I think it’s just accepting your reality, not judging others and understanding all of us can feel extreme loneliness, even if it looks as though we have a partner, family, good friends. All may not be as it seems xx
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It’s exactly this …My mum & dad were amazing I was so lucky having them ..I just wish they were still here .. And ur right I have great people around me but I miss their love so much and it makes me feel sad & lonely at times
It probably doesn’t help all my friends still have both their parents so I can’t help compare myself to them .
Am only 42 aswell so feel young to not have them both here 😔
 
Idontknowwhatimdoing said:
I feel exactly like this! There is a popular misconception that those of us with living parents and partners don’t feel this way. I have just had a health scare after my first mammogram, it’s resulted in an operation. I feel really unsupported by both my husband and my parents. He dropped me at the hospital whilst I watched others with someone supporting them, I’m independent and don’t need that but the offer would have been nice. Yesterday, I had my stitches checked and he completely forgot about saying hope it goes ok, or how did it go? This has really made me reevaluate where I am in life. I suffer with mental health issues but plough through, working full time and appearing ok. It’s the feeling that no one really cares, which has always been my trigger, it’s just being confirmed for me at the moment.
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How are you doing now? Hope the stitches removal went well and you are recovering well too? That’s a lot to go through. I understand.
I’m sorry you are experiencing similar - I do wonder if some men are oblivious to certain things and situations... and how it would make us feel?

A friend, a close friend. IykwimHe didn’t even call or check in after my surgery earlier this year. I kept thinking he’ll show up but he never did. It stung. I’m reevaluating our ‘friendship’. I feel so hurt all the time. It’s a niggling feeling that creeps in... not all the time but sometimes it overwhelms you, you know?

People tend to use me. I see good in everything and think everyone has their best intentions towards me, like I do towards them. I’ve realised I’m so far removed from reality that this isn’t what happens in real life. Nobody cares. Not really.
 
Good Egg said:
How are you doing now? Hope the stitches removal went well and you are recovering well too? That’s a lot to go through. I understand.
I’m sorry you are experiencing similar - I do wonder if some men are oblivious to certain things and situations... and how it would make us feel?

A friend, a close friend. IykwimHe didn’t even call or check in after my surgery earlier this year. I kept thinking he’ll show up but he never did. It stung. I’m reevaluating our ‘friendship’. I feel so hurt all the time. It’s a niggling feeling that creeps in... not all the time but sometimes it overwhelms you, you know?

People tend to use me. I see good in everything and think everyone has their best intentions towards me, like I do towards them. I’ve realised I’m so far removed from reality that this isn’t what happens in real life. Nobody cares. Not really.
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People do care but I sometimes it’s not the ones who we think should be top of the list. Honestly, it’s making me make pretend plans in my head of where I can take myself in a few years. How I can change my life, and be alone. I’m doing ok thanks and hope you are after your surgery too xx
 
Idontknowwhatimdoing said:
People do care but I sometimes it’s not the ones who we think should be top of the list. Honestly, it’s making me make pretend plans in my head of where I can take myself in a few years. How I can change my life, and be alone. I’m doing ok thanks and hope you are after your surgery too xx
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So to add insult this guy went absolute radio silence on me when I had my op. A mutual friend of ours is currently in hospital and he’s all over the post with hearts and comments. Why am I bothered by this? Why does this hurt so much?
 
Good Egg said:
So to add insult this guy went absolute radio silence on me when I had my op. A mutual friend of ours is currently in hospital and he’s all over the post with hearts and comments. Why am I bothered by this? Why does this hurt so much?
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It’s so hard when people don’t behave the way you expect, it’s hurtful and confusing. I really believe we can only rely upon ourselves, and I don’t even like myself very much so it’s hard to imagine others liking me. I also think, in your case, social media definitely doesn’t help. I hope you feel like you do have people who care xxx
 
I think I posted earlier on in the thread about feeling let down by people and I see that theme in people's posts.

Late last year one of my family took severely ill and they are now disabled and require 24 hour care. This experience has effected me in so many ways but one of them is the acceptance that other people are self centred, selfish and self absorbed. I'm also not angry or sad about this fact, im just neutral about it and it feels very liberating.

I try to focus on myself and my immediate family and the good friends i have, and my expectations for everyone else are non existent or extremely low. I spent years devastated over certain people in my family's lack of care towards me and my children but I've now realised it's their loss. I made a lot of effort for people in the past that was not reciprocated so now I do it if it suits me and is something I want, and not out of feeling obliged or pressured.

I don't know if me sharing this helped at all. I just wanted to give my perspective.
 
Really struggling mentally at the moment. I'm suspended from my job (from yesterday will full pay), it was a matter that I should've run past management first and no harm has been done etc, it's a long story that I can't share but I'm just really hoping I don't get sacked. I'm hoping for final written warning 😪 I've had a clean sheet since I've been there and the investigation chat I had with my boss she said she can see I'm upset etc and not been blaise about it, I've started applying for jobs and I know I won't struggle to find another one but I love where I work😢
 
Shimmering said:
I think I posted earlier on in the thread about feeling let down by people and I see that theme in people's posts.

Late last year one of my family took severely ill and they are now disabled and require 24 hour care. This experience has effected me in so many ways but one of them is the acceptance that other people are self centred, selfish and self absorbed. I'm also not angry or sad about this fact, im just neutral about it and it feels very liberating.

I try to focus on myself and my immediate family and the good friends i have, and my expectations for everyone else are non existent or extremely low. I spent years devastated over certain people in my family's lack of care towards me and my children but I've now realised it's their loss. I made a lot of effort for people in the past that was not reciprocated so now I do it if it suits me and is something I want, and not out of feeling obliged or pressured.

I don't know if me sharing this helped at all. I just wanted to give my perspective.
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I must have jinxed myself with this post because I've gone from being neutral to being utterly devastated about it again. Urgh.

I hate that I care so much and feel so hurt.
 
Shimmering said:
I must have jinxed myself with this post because I've gone from being neutral to being utterly devastated about it again. Urgh.

I hate that I care so much and feel so hurt.
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I'm sorry, watching a loved one deteriorate is so hard. Do you have anyone you can talk to? There's a lot of charities that have help and support lines who can listen to things in the context of a 'condition' if that makes sense. It would be more weird if you didn't feel those feelings, I think. X
 
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