For anybody struggling ❤

[Shimmering]

@SquiggleWings that sounds so very tough and you sound like you are really struggling and need support.

Could you think about chatting to Shout or Samaritans? You can do texts and webchats now.

Shout: the UK's free, confidential and 24/7 mental health text service for crisis support

Shout is the UK's first and only 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis. Get free, confidential mental health support anytime, anywhere. Text 'Shout' to 85258.

giveusashout.org

Samaritans - Here to listen

Samaritans works to make sure there’s always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

www.samaritans.org

 

[Good Egg]

I feel like I’m going to talk into the abyss a little bit…

last year my fiance died suddenly in a car accident, he was only 24. It’s been over a year and I still can’t comprehend it. I still cry for him and the future he will never get to have on most days.
My mother wasn’t an emotional support to me, she didn’t visit me, didn’t phone me for weeks at a time. I’ve been no contact with her for nearly a year (this was just the final straw). I don’t feel close to anyone. There’s no one I can put down as an emergency contact because there’s no one that will drop everything for me.

I have no fight in me anymore. I just can’t. It hurts every day and I just can’t be in this much pain. I feel so insignificant, unimportant, unloved.
I just wanted to be loved.

Hello, how are you doing?
I think you should see your GP and ask for some support, some bereavement or grief counselling. That would help you work through everything you are feeling and support you moving forward.

They say grief is the price you pay for love. Grief is a change, a change you didn’t anticipate. It can be very tough, but you can learn to live with grief and move forward.

I am so very sorry for your loss. Do you have any friends, colleagues who can support you?

I hope you are OK, lots of love. x

 

[SquiggleWings]

I just wanted to be loved. I just wanted to be someone’s choice.
I just wanted to feel worthy. I have no fight left

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

I’m currently recovering from surgery. In my period of leave I’ve realised I actually have no friends or anybody who looks out for me.

Nobody has been in touch. Nobody. I’ve posted on FB. It proves my point that if i didn’t reach out and make the first move, nobody would care. If I died in surgery. I doubt anybody would notice.

I’m feeling very down and low. (Overdramatic and true). I’m a single parent so put a brave face on it. I have to carry on regardless but man it hurts.

This friend, a guy, he is so special to me. Was always there. We got close and now he’s not the same towards me.

I feel as though people use me for what they need and discard me when I’m no longer needed. I’d do anything for anybody. I’ll always check in with people, I’ll always make sure others are OK. I make myself available to others.

This has been An eyeopening experience. I’m not going to reach out anymore.

Has anybody else experienced similar?

If it helps, at all. I've recently injured myself and therefore can't attend work. Of the people at work that I thought were friends... I've heard from 2 of them by text even though others have my number or another contact method. Obviously I've heard from my bosses as well but that was in a professional capacity.

I am upset, I thought I was valued as a person more.

One day, I hope to live near the sea, alone except for my pets (one day a small dog hopefully) and my children who may wish to visit.

 

[Storyteller25]

I just wanted to be loved. I just wanted to be someone’s choice.
I just wanted to feel worthy. I have no fight left

You do, you do still have fight left. You’ve been through so much but you’re very strong, stronger than you think. Your fiancé didn’t deserve his ending and you don’t deserve this pain.

I have myself been in a similar situation, I might not know exactly how you feel but I can certainly sympathise. I know the feeling of wanting to escape what’s feeling like a very impossible situation to get through. I know how grief feels so lonely, the world just keeps going for everyone else but stands still for you.

This thread is always here to support you but I do agree with the above posts RE further support. Have you tried seeking any professional help? Talking to anyone.. friends, other family members or Samaritans? Do you feel up to going to your GP, even if it’s just to talk and not for medication

 

[Rolandtherat]

I feel like I’m going to talk into the abyss a little bit…

last year my fiance died suddenly in a car accident, he was only 24. It’s been over a year and I still can’t comprehend it. I still cry for him and the future he will never get to have on most days.
My mother wasn’t an emotional support to me, she didn’t visit me, didn’t phone me for weeks at a time. I’ve been no contact with her for nearly a year (this was just the final straw). I don’t feel close to anyone. There’s no one I can put down as an emergency contact because there’s no one that will drop everything for me.

I have no fight in me anymore. I just can’t. It hurts every day and I just can’t be in this much pain. I feel so insignificant, unimportant, unloved.
I just wanted to be loved.

Oh my darlin I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is a process that takes time so don't judge yourself that you are still grieving hard after a year. You are fighting and you have to continue to fight because I'm sure your fiancé would want you to. Someone, one day will come along and love you for the amazing person you are, but It may be an idea to receive some help for yourself on this journey of processing your loss. Sending you lots of love and strength ❤❤❤

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

My best friend that passed away a couple of weeks ago, his family didn’t want any friends at his funeral so I can’t even say goodbye, they’ve also deactivated his sm accounts so I’ve lost loads of messages. His family have also blocked anyone that’s asked about the funeral. Wtf man why are people like this?

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

Anyone have any experience with whooping cough? My 11 week old is in hospital with it and I can’t bring myself to google it. Any advice appreciated xx

 

[FlowerPower987]

I lost my identical twin girls almost 7 months ago. I was 15 weeks pregnant when they unexpectedly passed away, I had to deliver them, it was absolute worst day of my life.
The trauma and grief is destroying me, I have lots of other added stresses too i.e potentially facing homelessness with 4 children, an unsupportive partner who is also in so much debt that we have had bailiffs knocking on the door, a dick of an ex husband who still makes my life difficult, a narcissistic mother who I am unable to turn to for support, I have given up my job as a nurse because I am unable to go back to the hospital due to the trauma of losing my twins there.
I am isolated and lonely, my anxiety is debilitating.
My partner refuses to acknowledge my fragile mental health, he will change the subject when I try to talk to him about it.
I feel like I am going mad.
I’m going to bite the bullet and contact my GP tomorrow as I can’t cope with life anymore.
I am absolutely crap at asking for help as I’m so used to being the “strong one”, but I need intervention before I crumble .

 

[SquiggleWings]

You do, you do still have fight left. You’ve been through so much but you’re very strong, stronger than you think. Your fiancé didn’t deserve his ending and you don’t deserve this pain.

I have myself been in a similar situation, I might not know exactly how you feel but I can certainly sympathise. I know the feeling of wanting to escape what’s feeling like a very impossible situation to get through. I know how grief feels so lonely, the world just keeps going for everyone else but stands still for you.

This thread is always here to support you but I do agree with the above posts RE further support. Have you tried seeking any professional help? Talking to anyone.. friends, other family members or Samaritans? Do you feel up to going to your GP, even if it’s just to talk and not for medication

I appreciate your words. But I can’t go on feeling this empty anymore. Believe me when I say, I would be forgotten in a matter of days. I am no one first choice. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to anymore.
Thank you again for your words.

 

[ethelworks]

I appreciate your words. But I can’t go on feeling this empty anymore. Believe me when I say, I would be forgotten in a matter of days. I am no one first choice. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to anymore.
Thank you again for your words.

I am so so sorry you are feeling this way, you’ve had a horrendous loss in your life and I can’t begin to imagine how that feels. I truly hope you will be ok and get some support through this time xxx

 

[Good Egg]

I lost my identical twin girls almost 7 months ago. I was 15 weeks pregnant when they unexpectedly passed away, I had to deliver them, it was absolute worst day of my life.
The trauma and grief is destroying me, I have lots of other added stresses too i.e potentially facing homelessness with 4 children, an unsupportive partner who is also in so much debt that we have had bailiffs knocking on the door, a dick of an ex husband who still makes my life difficult, a narcissistic mother who I am unable to turn to for support, I have given up my job as a nurse because I am unable to go back to the hospital due to the trauma of losing my twins there.
I am isolated and lonely, my anxiety is debilitating.
My partner refuses to acknowledge my fragile mental health, he will change the subject when I try to talk to him about it.
I feel like I am going mad.
I’m going to bite the bullet and contact my GP tomorrow as I can’t cope with life anymore.
I am absolutely crap at asking for help as I’m so used to being the “strong one”, but I need intervention before I crumble .

I am so sorry for your loss. Did you make the appointment to see you GP today? I think seeking support is a good idea, you have a lot to handle. Everyone needs support.
Have you reached out to Sands?
I hope you get the support you need. Thinking of you x

 

[Storyteller25]

I appreciate your words. But I can’t go on feeling this empty anymore. Believe me when I say, I would be forgotten in a matter of days. I am no one first choice. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to anymore.
Thank you again for your words.

It’s really hard but please seek some help outside of this thread, contact your GP or try to get some therapy so you can talk things through.
Brighter days are on the horizon but you need to be patient with yourself.
Thinking of you xx

 

[Good Egg]

I appreciate your words. But I can’t go on feeling this empty anymore. Believe me when I say, I would be forgotten in a matter of days. I am no one first choice. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to anymore.
Thank you again for your words.

How are you today?

I just wanted to say you are not alone. I’ve been feeling a lot like this recently. I’m battling constantly with feeling worthless and not good enough and like I’ve wasted my entire life with nothing to show for it. I’m painfully lonely. Incredibly so. I feel let down by those who should have been there.

You would be missed. You are loved. I’m here fighting your corner.
Please see the GP. Take your post here with you and read it. You deserve all the world and happiness as do I? Promise me you’ll make that phone call. I don’t know you. But I’ll hold your hand and support you virtually - can you do that for me too?
Take care x

 

[Shimmering]

Spoiler: Trigger warning for thoughts of self harm mention

I'm struggling today. One of my children is facing issues and I feel very powerless and alone. I've been having gut problems for the last three weeks which hasn't helped my resilience. Found out about the trouble on Friday and have been in emotional distress since. For the first time in around 20 ish years I wanted to use self harm as a coping mechanism as I felt so overwhelmed. I was NEVER going to harm myself but I am simply expressing the depth of distress I was in.

I would never ever harm myself in any way but for some reason my brain felt like this was the way to get relief. Luckily I was able to think rationally and push myself through that dark feeling. But it was horrible and very difficult.

Today they have gone into school and I am worried sick about how things will be for them. But I will stay strong and keep pushing. I need to be strong for them but with everything going on in my life I just feel like running away.

Thank you I just needed to vent a little.

 

[Good Egg]

Spoiler: Trigger warning for thoughts of self harm mention

I'm struggling today. One of my children is facing issues and I feel very powerless and alone. I've been having gut problems for the last three weeks which hasn't helped my resilience. Found out about the trouble on Friday and have been in emotional distress since. For the first time in around 20 ish years I wanted to use self harm as a coping mechanism as I felt so overwhelmed. I was NEVER going to harm myself but I am simply expressing the depth of distress I was in.

I would never ever harm myself in any way but for some reason my brain felt like this was the way to get relief. Luckily I was able to think rationally and push myself through that dark feeling. But it was horrible and very difficult.

Today they have gone into school and I am worried sick about how things will be for them. But I will stay strong and keep pushing. I need to be strong for them but with everything going on in my life I just feel like running away.

Thank you I just needed to vent a little.

How are you this afternoon?
You know it’s tough when things get overwhelming. Are you able to reach out and get support? Have you seen the GP. Maybe make some time for you? A bubble bath or read a good book, something to distract your negative thoughts and feelings and make you feel calm? It’s important to acknowledge what you are feeling but also to have good coping techniques when you feel out of control. I used to SH. I understand x

 

[Storyteller25]

Spoiler: Trigger warning for thoughts of self harm mention

I'm struggling today. One of my children is facing issues and I feel very powerless and alone. I've been having gut problems for the last three weeks which hasn't helped my resilience. Found out about the trouble on Friday and have been in emotional distress since. For the first time in around 20 ish years I wanted to use self harm as a coping mechanism as I felt so overwhelmed. I was NEVER going to harm myself but I am simply expressing the depth of distress I was in.

I would never ever harm myself in any way but for some reason my brain felt like this was the way to get relief. Luckily I was able to think rationally and push myself through that dark feeling. But it was horrible and very difficult.

Today they have gone into school and I am worried sick about how things will be for them. But I will stay strong and keep pushing. I need to be strong for them but with everything going on in my life I just feel like running away.

Thank you I just needed to vent a little.

Well done, you should be proud that you never used self harm as a coping mechanism. Your very strong

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

Spoiler: Trigger warning for thoughts of self harm mention

I'm struggling today. One of my children is facing issues and I feel very powerless and alone. I've been having gut problems for the last three weeks which hasn't helped my resilience. Found out about the trouble on Friday and have been in emotional distress since. For the first time in around 20 ish years I wanted to use self harm as a coping mechanism as I felt so overwhelmed. I was NEVER going to harm myself but I am simply expressing the depth of distress I was in.

I would never ever harm myself in any way but for some reason my brain felt like this was the way to get relief. Luckily I was able to think rationally and push myself through that dark feeling. But it was horrible and very difficult.

Today they have gone into school and I am worried sick about how things will be for them. But I will stay strong and keep pushing. I need to be strong for them but with everything going on in my life I just feel like running away.

Thank you I just needed to vent a little.

I hope today has gone ok. I’m in SH ‘recovery’ myself and I’ve experienced the same thought process as you before for sure. Not often these days, but definitely at the most overwhelming times. You’ve shown enormous bravery and resilience in not allowing that thought to take over, and for coming to tell us here about it. I hope it helped to share that thought outside of your head

 

[Shimmering]

How are you this afternoon?
You know it’s tough when things get overwhelming. Are you able to reach out and get support? Have you seen the GP. Maybe make some time for you? A bubble bath or read a good book, something to distract your negative thoughts and feelings and make you feel calm? It’s important to acknowledge what you are feeling but also to have good coping techniques when you feel out of control. I used to SH. I understand x

I'm much better thank you. Now just exhausted from the emotional turmoil but life doesn't stop. The issue is resolved and I was catastrophising. My overthinking had our entire lives ruined in my imagination. I had a long talk with a friend who understands my experiences and it helped enormously. Venting here helped too and thank you for being kind. I've been this way since I was a teen and had so much mental health support then but it was anxiety and depression based, and i actually think ive undiagnosed ADHD and possibly autism.

I don't have any mental health support now but I have good family and friend support and that helps. I wouldn't be able to explain to the GP as these feelings come and go so rapidly and I am really good at masking so no-one would ever suspect what I am going through inside.

So I do try to be more open about my feelings just to get it out there and release some of the pressure.
---

I hope today has gone ok. I’m in SH ‘recovery’ myself and I’ve experienced the same thought process as you before for sure. Not often these days, but definitely at the most overwhelming times. You’ve shown enormous bravery and resilience in not allowing that thought to take over, and for coming to tell us here about it. I hope it helped to share that thought outside of your head ❤

Thank you so very much. I started as a teen probably 25/26 years ago. I'm 42 now and haven't done it in I would say 20 years. It helped enormously to post and let it out. It's all about releasing that tension which feels so overwhelming.
---

Well done, you should be proud that you never used self harm as a coping mechanism. Your very strong

Aww thank you so much. I definitely did in the past but my brain has matured a lot in the intervening years and I now understand that it doesn't help me in any way to do that.

 

[hytuhh]

My anxiety feels through the roof at the moment due to a few things that have happened to me and the uncertainty of what’s going to happen next/in the future makes me feel so sick. Like I know there are so many coping mechanisms for anxiety but honestly speaking, when your anxiety is because of a specific situation and it can’t be easily resolved or is out of your control, how can any of these methods actually work?

I find it so hard to function when I am consumed by worry. I lose my appetite which makes me feel weak and faint, I can’t stop going to the toilet which is draining in itself and I just feel like my heart is racing and dry mouth. It’s a horrible feeling and you can’t switch off the thoughts in your head or even put them to the back of your mind.