For anybody struggling ❤

1
I feel silly posting this because it seems so tiny compared to everyone else’s problems, but here goes!

I’ve struggled with my mental health all my life and it’s really ramped up recently.
I think I may have CPTSD due to my upbringing and I’ve also been recommended to have an ADHD assessment, OCD has also been brought up. I have had countless appointments with the GP and I always just get referred to talking therapy which doesn’t help. I can’t afford private atm.

I am always so hypervigilant, my brain never stops, I’m unorganised and scatty and I have periods of being so down I can’t get out of bed. My self esteem is below the floor, I am so nasty to myself. I overthink everything and ruin relationships because of it, and now I have an obsession with researching what could be wrong with me constantly.

Basically it’s taking over my life but the GPs aren’t helping and I never really think about anything else apart from my mental health 😢
 
anonesk223 said:
I feel silly posting this because it seems so tiny compared to everyone else’s problems, but here goes!

I’ve struggled with my mental health all my life and it’s really ramped up recently.
I think I may have CPTSD due to my upbringing and I’ve also been recommended to have an ADHD assessment, OCD has also been brought up. I have had countless appointments with the GP and I always just get referred to talking therapy which doesn’t help. I can’t afford private atm.

I am always so hypervigilant, my brain never stops, I’m unorganised and scatty and I have periods of being so down I can’t get out of bed. My self esteem is below the floor, I am so nasty to myself. I overthink everything and ruin relationships because of it, and now I have an obsession with researching what could be wrong with me constantly.

Basically it’s taking over my life but the GPs aren’t helping and I never really think about anything else apart from my mental health 😢
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I understand where you’re coming from my mental health hasn’t been great lately.. I’m trying to get a psychologist appointment but they refuse to see me as you need to try the CBT shite. I was too forwarded to talking therapies but talking isn’t for everyone is it. The last time I did they blamed me for everything that happened to me.

they don’t seem to realise how much easier it would be to help us who are asking for help instead of hindering.
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Sharkfan said:
I’m in my final year of uni and I feel so overwhelmed at all the work I need to do over the few months. I do primary education so do placements to get QTS and since my last one ended I’ve really struggled to motivate myself to get anything done. My parents think I’m doing great and am going to get a first and pass my driving test in a few weeks when in reality I’m terrified I’m going to fail both.

I’ve also got no friends because I’m quite introverted. However, there is a swiftie society where I have been able to talk and meet people outside of my course. I was really looking forward to going today as I’ve felt really on edge with everything else and was looking forward to talking about trivial stuff like the Grammys and new album announcement. However, my bus didn’t show up and the next one would’ve made me really late so I ended up not going and instead cried at the bus stop and my whole walk home (sad I know). I honestly never cry but have felt on the verge a few times recently and I think this was my last straw.
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You’re not sad at all. Please don’t think that. ❤️
 
anonesk223 said:
I feel silly posting this because it seems so tiny compared to everyone else’s problems, but here goes!

I’ve struggled with my mental health all my life and it’s really ramped up recently.
I think I may have CPTSD due to my upbringing and I’ve also been recommended to have an ADHD assessment, OCD has also been brought up. I have had countless appointments with the GP and I always just get referred to talking therapy which doesn’t help. I can’t afford private atm.

I am always so hypervigilant, my brain never stops, I’m unorganised and scatty and I have periods of being so down I can’t get out of bed. My self esteem is below the floor, I am so nasty to myself. I overthink everything and ruin relationships because of it, and now I have an obsession with researching what could be wrong with me constantly.

Basically it’s taking over my life but the GPs aren’t helping and I never really think about anything else apart from my mental health 😢
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If it’s any support I feel like this too... especially the overthinking. If you see my post this guy I wanna reply is a love interest. I like him so much. It’s like a dopamine hit when I see his name on my phone. When he’s silent it’s torture. I overthink, I think he’s no longer interested. I worry I’m being too much. It’s tough. I check and reread our conversations.
I’ll be in a right mood tomorrow now. I also suffer low mood and days sleeping in bed. Depression kicks in. It’s tough.
I try where I can to break down tasks into manageable steps. I try where I can to stop ruminations. I have OCD and mental compulsions like researching online is a classic example of something I would do.
Be kind to yourself. Go back to the GP. OCD Action has some good info x
 
I want to disappear. I feel so alone.
I had a horrible argument with my other half and I just feel so painfully alone. It was that bad that I left and I’m staying in a hotel tonight because I can’t be around him.
I’ve always struggled with depression and I’m starting to think it’s never going to get better
 
This is a long one.

So in September I started studying a course at college. This is my third attempt at college. I am currently on a work placement related to the course. I have now realised that this is not for me. I have found my placement incredibly mind numbing and I am bored out of my skull.

I struggle with not being constantly stimulated I've come to realise. I am getting assessed for ADHD. I will admit I have a very very low tolerance for stress. So little things that seem nothing cause what I'd describe as a meltdown. I can't help these meltdowns,but anytime I have one it's always grow up,get a grip. I think people think I'm attention seeking but I just can't regulate my emotions and so I have these massive outbursts. I am on anti depressants but they don't help.

CBT didn't work either for me. I have quite a black and white mindset and the therapist gave up on me.

I want to drop out again for my mental health but I will probably be disowned if I do. My hair has been falling out lately. My parents are very contradictory. They say they want me to be happy ( I have treatment resistant depression) but when I do things for me they don't like it. So it seems my only choice is to continue doing the course because they want me to and disregard myself. They want me to do the course because 'you have to stick at something,who cares if you don't like it. You just plug on ahead.' It's also because it's embarrassing for them because I give up too easily.


All I want is for someone to be supportive of me.
 
My anxiety has been so bad recently, I've had a panic attack everyday this week. I've got my nieces birthday party on Saturday and I should be excited but I'm dreading it because my anxiety says so. Worrying its not anxiety though and it's something else and that's making me worse. Frustrating because I've been doing so well but it's hit me again.
 
anonesk223 said:
I feel silly posting this because it seems so tiny compared to everyone else’s problems, but here goes!

I’ve struggled with my mental health all my life and it’s really ramped up recently.
I think I may have CPTSD due to my upbringing and I’ve also been recommended to have an ADHD assessment, OCD has also been brought up. I have had countless appointments with the GP and I always just get referred to talking therapy which doesn’t help. I can’t afford private atm.

I am always so hypervigilant, my brain never stops, I’m unorganised and scatty and I have periods of being so down I can’t get out of bed. My self esteem is below the floor, I am so nasty to myself. I overthink everything and ruin relationships because of it, and now I have an obsession with researching what could be wrong with me constantly.

Basically it’s taking over my life but the GPs aren’t helping and I never really think about anything else apart from my mental health 😢
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Never feel silly about posting here. Nobody is in any competition, and everyone’s feelings are totally valid! My mental health was in the bin last year and I got referred to a peer support service, which I accepted because although I haven’t found talking therapies useful, I knew I needed something. What I really liked about it was the person I was referred to had lived experience of mental health and while everyone’s experiences are different, just knowing there was someone out there who could even slightly understand that I was so consumed with anxiety I really thought it might kill me was a big help. Maybe see if there are any mental health charities in your area? A lot of these are actually self-referral as well so you can bypass the GPs on this.
 
I'm feeling really anxious right now. I went to the Dr's last week with a suspected cyst on my toe. It looks like a blister and hurts when pushed. It popped once and a jelly like liquid came out.
She couldn't diagnose it so sent a picture off to the dermatology team. They've come back today to say she should refer me on the urgent 2 week suspected cancer Pathway.
She is as shocked as I am about it and has said she didn't expect it. I'm absolutely terrified now and have spent all morning worrying.
Any advice would be amazing.
 
AladdinSane said:
I'm feeling really anxious right now. I went to the Dr's last week with a suspected cyst on my toe. It looks like a blister and hurts when pushed. It popped once and a jelly like liquid came out.
She couldn't diagnose it so sent a picture off to the dermatology team. They've come back today to say she should refer me on the urgent 2 week suspected cancer Pathway.
She is as shocked as I am about it and has said she didn't expect it. I'm absolutely terrified now and have spent all morning worrying.
Any advice would be amazing.
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I find that GPs either dismiss you or completely overreact. I think it was inappropriate of her to say she is shocked but it is great that you have been referred so quickly so you can find out asap. I know it’s easy to say but there can be so many explanations so please, please try not to think the worst!
 
Iosphere said:
I find that GPs either dismiss you or completely overreact. I think it was inappropriate of her to say she is shocked but it is great that you have been referred so quickly so you can find out asap. I know it’s easy to say but there can be so many explanations so please, please try not to think the worst!
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Thank you. She couldn't tell me what it was at all. Based on what I had looked at prior to going and where it is on my toe, I thought it was a ganglion cyst or something like that.

I had the hospital on the phone today and they have referred me for clinical imaging rather than a face to face appointment initially (the GP referred me for face to face).
I feel better now I have spoken to the hospital and am getting the photos done next week.
I'm trying not to think the worst and just want next Tuesday to arrive and it be out the way 😅
 
Iosphere said:
I want to disappear. I feel so alone.
I had a horrible argument with my other half and I just feel so painfully alone. It was that bad that I left and I’m staying in a hotel tonight because I can’t be around him.
I’ve always struggled with depression and I’m starting to think it’s never going to get better
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How are things now? Are you back home?
 
I’m really struggling. Basically I’ve been friends with this guy for a long time... we were really good friends. Always had time for each other. A real support. Started to catch feelings for him. Didn’t acknowledge it because didn’t want to ruin anything. A few months back he tried to kiss me and I pulled away, but yeah tried again a few months later and it was amazing 😉 one thing led to another...
Anyways ever since we are not the same. He’s distanced himself and I’m so sad. I miss the texts and calls and just being able to chat. He knew my back story and knew how hurt I was in the past and knew all the history of the tit I went through with my ex. I just feel so hurt, it’s like a bereavement but nobody has died. I need to be up for work and I can’t face it. I can’t face anything. I sent two messages last night and no reply.
It’s like there has been a shift and things can’t go back to how they used to be? People say move on but I can’t. Like we spoke yesterday and it felt different. Everything feels ruined.
What do I do?
How can I heal from this rejection?
 
Good Egg said:
I’m really struggling. Basically I’ve been friends with this guy for a long time... we were really good friends. Always had time for each other. A real support. Started to catch feelings for him. Didn’t acknowledge it because didn’t want to ruin anything. A few months back he tried to kiss me and I pulled away, but yeah tried again a few months later and it was amazing 😉 one thing led to another...
Anyways ever since we are not the same. He’s distanced himself and I’m so sad. I miss the texts and calls and just being able to chat. He knew my back story and knew how hurt I was in the past and knew all the history of the tit I went through with my ex. I just feel so hurt, it’s like a bereavement but nobody has died. I need to be up for work and I can’t face it. I can’t face anything. I sent two messages last night and no reply.
It’s like there has been a shift and things can’t go back to how they used to be? People say move on but I can’t. Like we spoke yesterday and it felt different. Everything feels ruined.
What do I do?
How can I heal from this rejection?
Click to expand...
I am one of those people who take control by deleting/blocking. I’m not sure if it’s a healthy way to deal with it, but it helps me. I would send one final message to see if you can sort things out/draw a line under it and if you don’t get a response then I’d lose his number/block him. It’s not easy and it’s not a nice situation to be in, but there’s only so much you can do before you have to cut contact for your own mental health. You don’t want to be his drunk dial on a Friday night always waiting on him, always dropping stuff when he gives you that bit of attention.
 
Good Egg said:
I’m really struggling. Basically I’ve been friends with this guy for a long time... we were really good friends. Always had time for each other. A real support. Started to catch feelings for him. Didn’t acknowledge it because didn’t want to ruin anything. A few months back he tried to kiss me and I pulled away, but yeah tried again a few months later and it was amazing 😉 one thing led to another...
Anyways ever since we are not the same. He’s distanced himself and I’m so sad. I miss the texts and calls and just being able to chat. He knew my back story and knew how hurt I was in the past and knew all the history of the tit I went through with my ex. I just feel so hurt, it’s like a bereavement but nobody has died. I need to be up for work and I can’t face it. I can’t face anything. I sent two messages last night and no reply.
It’s like there has been a shift and things can’t go back to how they used to be? People say move on but I can’t. Like we spoke yesterday and it felt different. Everything feels ruined.
What do I do?
How can I heal from this rejection?
Click to expand...
Ugh men. For me personally I would send one more text and say "listen, I don't want what happened to ruin our friendship but if you can't be friends then fine" from my past experiences with guys I always found they were never interested once I slept with them which made my self confidence decrease (partly my fault). Sometimes the best thing to do is block, delete and have a good cry. Time is a healer, hope you're okay!
 
Really struggling atm, my dad is having a heart valve replacement soonish. I can't stop thinking and panicking about what could happen. I'm finding it really hard at work to not let my mind wander, I understand these kind of surgeries happen every day but I can't stop worrying. I know there's also more risk if he doesn't have the surgery but that doesn't make me feel any better :(
 
I am feeling the lowest I ever have felt in my life.
My dad died at home two weeks ago. He was released from hospital, they actually said to him coldly, ‘do you want to die here or at home”
He had Chronic myeloid leukaemia, but it was the heart failure that got him]
We took him home and basically lied to him when he asked ‘am I going to get better?’ He was so scared of dying. And for a few days he really turned a corner, eating and drinking well, sitting up. They had given us a bag of meds that the district nurse was to give when he deteriorated. But I was in denial. Absolutely convinced he would improve.
Then he started yelling one night, it went on for hours. Apparently it’s called terminal agitation. It was such a terrible terrible sound, like he was in pain, but he said he wasn’t. I was brisk with him, told him to stop making the noises, I slept on the floor by his bed. But I couldn’t take it.
Then I noticed he has no pee in his catheter bag, and hadn’t peed for two days. We had a care team come to the house four times a day.So he was being monitored. The nurse suggested giving him midazopam. And I didn’t know it, but he had fallen into a coma. In the morning I tried to wake him for breakfast, but he was out of it, but still breathing noisily. My brother came and we sat around the bed talking after the nurse leftShe said he would pass probably in two days. Then suddenly he made this terrifying face, like a monsterous contorted face almost like a gargoyle and breathed deeply. He was till unconscious. At first I thought he was yawning. But then we realised it was happening.so we grabbed his hands, and told him how much we loved him. And he stopped breathing totally. Then a few minutes later, her repeated the whole sequence of events again, the terrible contortion of his face and the gasp. But his eyes never opened, and I am sure he wasn’t conscious. And he btreathed for the last time. It absolutely terrified me. My dad was not a religious person, and feared death.we were careful what we said in front of him. But his death was so awful and I cannot get past it. And there is so much to do, I just break down all the time. To make matters worse the cat has disappeared too, which if gravely upsetting my daughter who has serious mental health issues.
There is no will. And I am trying to grapple with finding his bank and property stuff. We cannot afford a lawyer, no way. I’m on benefits. And the forums about probate are just full of horror stories.
To make matters worse a council tax letter arrived today. Apparently I’ve broken the law by moving into my dads home to look after him, because he was claiming single person living in his house, and I was in a rental with my husband. Someon actually snitched me up. It is fraud, even thought it was three weeks I stayed here, because I asked one of the banks to send any mail to my dads address for me, as I was the one who would be the executor, and obviously had to change the house insurance in case anything happened to his house.
I got so drunk a few nights ago I wet the sofa. The room stinks. I’m awash with a papaer trail the size of Everest, and I simply cannot do it. I loved my dad so much. Even more than my husband. We were so close I’m grieving and at the same time I’m so angry at him leaving this financial mess, that he would have known I couldn’t handle. I have ever taken a death so badly in my life. I feel suicidal. I took some extra diazapam the other night hoping I’d just not wake up. There is literally nothing in my life to look forward to. Nothing good ever happens for me. All plans extinguishing when I make them. And now I’ve lost the only person who ever really loved and protected me. My immediate family are hands off and get on with it. But I actually cried at the bakery this morning, because I was picking out cakes for them, and of course, didn’t get one for dad. And it broke me up. The poor assistant asked me if I was okay and I couldn’t speak. She actually said, ‘do you need a cuddle’. I felt so stupid. I don’t think I am going to be able to get over this.
 
pepe le pew said:
I am feeling the lowest I ever have felt in my life.
My dad died at home two weeks ago. He was released from hospital, they actually said to him coldly, ‘do you want to die here or at home”
He had Chronic myeloid leukaemia, but it was the heart failure that got him]
We took him home and basically lied to him when he asked ‘am I going to get better?’ He was so scared of dying. And for a few days he really turned a corner, eating and drinking well, sitting up. They had given us a bag of meds that the district nurse was to give when he deteriorated. But I was in denial. Absolutely convinced he would improve.
Then he started yelling one night, it went on for hours. Apparently it’s called terminal agitation. It was such a terrible terrible sound, like he was in pain, but he said he wasn’t. I was brisk with him, told him to stop making the noises, I slept on the floor by his bed. But I couldn’t take it.
Then I noticed he has no pee in his catheter bag, and hadn’t peed for two days. We had a care team come to the house four times a day.So he was being monitored. The nurse suggested giving him midazopam. And I didn’t know it, but he had fallen into a coma. In the morning I tried to wake him for breakfast, but he was out of it, but still breathing noisily. My brother came and we sat around the bed talking after the nurse leftShe said he would pass probably in two days. Then suddenly he made this terrifying face, like a monsterous contorted face almost like a gargoyle and breathed deeply. He was till unconscious. At first I thought he was yawning. But then we realised it was happening.so we grabbed his hands, and told him how much we loved him. And he stopped breathing totally. Then a few minutes later, her repeated the whole sequence of events again, the terrible contortion of his face and the gasp. But his eyes never opened, and I am sure he wasn’t conscious. And he btreathed for the last time. It absolutely terrified me. My dad was not a religious person, and feared death.we were careful what we said in front of him. But his death was so awful and I cannot get past it. And there is so much to do, I just break down all the time. To make matters worse the cat has disappeared too, which if gravely upsetting my daughter who has serious mental health issues.
There is no will. And I am trying to grapple with finding his bank and property stuff. We cannot afford a lawyer, no way. I’m on benefits. And the forums about probate are just full of horror stories.
To make matters worse a council tax letter arrived today. Apparently I’ve broken the law by moving into my dads home to look after him, because he was claiming single person living in his house, and I was in a rental with my husband. Someon actually snitched me up. It is fraud, even thought it was three weeks I stayed here, because I asked one of the banks to send any mail to my dads address for me, as I was the one who would be the executor, and obviously had to change the house insurance in case anything happened to his house.
I got so drunk a few nights ago I wet the sofa. The room stinks. I’m awash with a papaer trail the size of Everest, and I simply cannot do it. I loved my dad so much. Even more than my husband. We were so close I’m grieving and at the same time I’m so angry at him leaving this financial mess, that he would have known I couldn’t handle. I have ever taken a death so badly in my life. I feel suicidal. I took some extra diazapam the other night hoping I’d just not wake up. There is literally nothing in my life to look forward to. Nothing good ever happens for me. All plans extinguishing when I make them. And now I’ve lost the only person who ever really loved and protected me. My immediate family are hands off and get on with it. But I actually cried at the bakery this morning, because I was picking out cakes for them, and of course, didn’t get one for dad. And it broke me up. The poor assistant asked me if I was okay and I couldn’t speak. She actually said, ‘do you need a cuddle’. I felt so stupid. I don’t think I am going to be able to get over this.
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I couldn't pass by and not say anything. I'm not the best with words so I'll leave that to those here who are. I just wanted to say so sorry for your loss and sending you hugs♥️ Keep sharing and posting here there's always someone to chat
 
pepe le pew said:
I am feeling the lowest I ever have felt in my life.
My dad died at home two weeks ago. He was released from hospital, they actually said to him coldly, ‘do you want to die here or at home”
He had Chronic myeloid leukaemia, but it was the heart failure that got him]
We took him home and basically lied to him when he asked ‘am I going to get better?’ He was so scared of dying. And for a few days he really turned a corner, eating and drinking well, sitting up. They had given us a bag of meds that the district nurse was to give when he deteriorated. But I was in denial. Absolutely convinced he would improve.
Then he started yelling one night, it went on for hours. Apparently it’s called terminal agitation. It was such a terrible terrible sound, like he was in pain, but he said he wasn’t. I was brisk with him, told him to stop making the noises, I slept on the floor by his bed. But I couldn’t take it.
Then I noticed he has no pee in his catheter bag, and hadn’t peed for two days. We had a care team come to the house four times a day.So he was being monitored. The nurse suggested giving him midazopam. And I didn’t know it, but he had fallen into a coma. In the morning I tried to wake him for breakfast, but he was out of it, but still breathing noisily. My brother came and we sat around the bed talking after the nurse leftShe said he would pass probably in two days. Then suddenly he made this terrifying face, like a monsterous contorted face almost like a gargoyle and breathed deeply. He was till unconscious. At first I thought he was yawning. But then we realised it was happening.so we grabbed his hands, and told him how much we loved him. And he stopped breathing totally. Then a few minutes later, her repeated the whole sequence of events again, the terrible contortion of his face and the gasp. But his eyes never opened, and I am sure he wasn’t conscious. And he btreathed for the last time. It absolutely terrified me. My dad was not a religious person, and feared death.we were careful what we said in front of him. But his death was so awful and I cannot get past it. And there is so much to do, I just break down all the time. To make matters worse the cat has disappeared too, which if gravely upsetting my daughter who has serious mental health issues.
There is no will. And I am trying to grapple with finding his bank and property stuff. We cannot afford a lawyer, no way. I’m on benefits. And the forums about probate are just full of horror stories.
To make matters worse a council tax letter arrived today. Apparently I’ve broken the law by moving into my dads home to look after him, because he was claiming single person living in his house, and I was in a rental with my husband. Someon actually snitched me up. It is fraud, even thought it was three weeks I stayed here, because I asked one of the banks to send any mail to my dads address for me, as I was the one who would be the executor, and obviously had to change the house insurance in case anything happened to his house.
I got so drunk a few nights ago I wet the sofa. The room stinks. I’m awash with a papaer trail the size of Everest, and I simply cannot do it. I loved my dad so much. Even more than my husband. We were so close I’m grieving and at the same time I’m so angry at him leaving this financial mess, that he would have known I couldn’t handle. I have ever taken a death so badly in my life. I feel suicidal. I took some extra diazapam the other night hoping I’d just not wake up. There is literally nothing in my life to look forward to. Nothing good ever happens for me. All plans extinguishing when I make them. And now I’ve lost the only person who ever really loved and protected me. My immediate family are hands off and get on with it. But I actually cried at the bakery this morning, because I was picking out cakes for them, and of course, didn’t get one for dad. And it broke me up. The poor assistant asked me if I was okay and I couldn’t speak. She actually said, ‘do you need a cuddle’. I felt so stupid. I don’t think I am going to be able to get over this.
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That is horrendous. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Please try to contact your GP or the out of hours doctor and explain that you are feeling so low. You need help and support right now.

Sending you 💓 you will be able to get through this, you just need support and help right now as you are understandably overwhelmed.
 
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