For anybody struggling ❤

1
I've been seeing this guy for six months now .

We went on our first mini break two weeks ago which was disastrous to be frank. We argued pretty much non stop. I kept having these mood swings and snapping when I didn't realise that I was doing it. It was my birthday but he never booked a table so we were left kinda scrambling and couldn't actually get a table. Nothing was really planned out on his part,I'd done most of it even though I've had a lot on my plate with working full time and studying.

Anyway, I thought we'd buried the hatchet and got over it until yesterday. I have a severe phobia of the dentist,and I need a lot of work done which the news of it sent me into a meltdown. I had a panic attack in the dentist and basically went straight from the dentist to date night. Drove up there shaking and trying to keep myself calm.

Went on our date to which I will admit I was in a horrible mood. Lost my temper and was very embarrassing.

I struggle with reading social cues and subtext. So apart from yesterday I thought we were all ok until he told me we weren't. I know I've been having these mood swings. I am going to the doctors for it today. I don't see them coming nor do I notice I'm having them. I have got a history of eating disorders too but I've been very open about this.

I have been under the impression that we had fixed our differences from our break away but he seems to think otherwise. I foolishly saw his phone unlocked and realised he's been venting about me to his ex and saying he wishes things were like his relationship with her and she wasn't this crazy. This ex is now engaged so it's not like he's wanting back with her. They've been split up two or three years and he's had another gf in between her and me.
When he was messaging her he was saying like we went for dinner and I wasn't eating much and he feels like he can't eat as much with me because I'm not eating much. And apparently I've been letting on that it's not as bad as it is.

I have been extremely open about this and he has said he is ok with this and we'll get through things.

I don't know what to believe. He'll say things are fine but I genuinely didn't pick up that he was annoyed at me until he told me all of this. It hit me like a bombshell.

I don't know what to believe because one minute he's saying we've ruined things and he doesn't know if we can get past it then the next he's saying we'll get through this and then talks about a future. Flip flops between both.

Like I feel like it is my fault for shouldering that responsibility on him. I feel awful because I have these issues but I feel like he's shifting the blame and pinning it on to me.

He said he always gets fucked up girls and that he thought I was different but maybe I'm just the same or possibly the most messed up of them all and I've been leading him on and letting on that it's not as bad as it is.

I feel like a horrible person.

It's all just came out of the blue because he doesn't want to communicate and I can't read subtext and social cues.

I love him too much. And I'll hate myself if I let someone go because I've been horrible and I haven't even been able to control it. He's the only person who doesn't make me feel like I'm this basket case but the thought that is what he views me as crushes me.
I genuinely don't know how I'll cope if we break up. I'll spiral . I feel like I'll never recover from and I'll always think of him as the one that got away
 
I've been seeing this guy for six months now .

We went on our first mini break two weeks ago which was disastrous to be frank. We argued pretty much non stop. I kept having these mood swings and snapping when I didn't realise that I was doing it. It was my birthday but he never booked a table so we were left kinda scrambling and couldn't actually get a table. Nothing was really planned out on his part,I'd done most of it even though I've had a lot on my plate with working full time and studying.

Anyway, I thought we'd buried the hatchet and got over it until yesterday. I have a severe phobia of the dentist,and I need a lot of work done which the news of it sent me into a meltdown. I had a panic attack in the dentist and basically went straight from the dentist to date night. Drove up there shaking and trying to keep myself calm.

Went on our date to which I will admit I was in a horrible mood. Lost my temper and was very embarrassing.

I struggle with reading social cues and subtext. So apart from yesterday I thought we were all ok until he told me we weren't. I know I've been having these mood swings. I am going to the doctors for it today. I don't see them coming nor do I notice I'm having them. I have got a history of eating disorders too but I've been very open about this.

I have been under the impression that we had fixed our differences from our break away but he seems to think otherwise. I foolishly saw his phone unlocked and realised he's been venting about me to his ex and saying he wishes things were like his relationship with her and she wasn't this crazy. This ex is now engaged so it's not like he's wanting back with her. They've been split up two or three years and he's had another gf in between her and me.
When he was messaging her he was saying like we went for dinner and I wasn't eating much and he feels like he can't eat as much with me because I'm not eating much. And apparently I've been letting on that it's not as bad as it is.

I have been extremely open about this and he has said he is ok with this and we'll get through things.

I don't know what to believe. He'll say things are fine but I genuinely didn't pick up that he was annoyed at me until he told me all of this. It hit me like a bombshell.

I don't know what to believe because one minute he's saying we've ruined things and he doesn't know if we can get past it then the next he's saying we'll get through this and then talks about a future. Flip flops between both.

Like I feel like it is my fault for shouldering that responsibility on him. I feel awful because I have these issues but I feel like he's shifting the blame and pinning it on to me.

He said he always gets fucked up girls and that he thought I was different but maybe I'm just the same or possibly the most messed up of them all and I've been leading him on and letting on that it's not as bad as it is.

I feel like a horrible person.

It's all just came out of the blue because he doesn't want to communicate and I can't read subtext and social cues.

I love him too much. And I'll hate myself if I let someone go because I've been horrible and I haven't even been able to control it. He's the only person who doesn't make me feel like I'm this basket case but the thought that is what he views me as crushes me.
I genuinely don't know how I'll cope if we break up. I'll spiral . I feel like I'll never recover from and I'll always think of him as the one that got away
Hi,

I don't think you're horrible. Some of what you've explained sound like a neurodiversity to me. Have you read much about stuff like that? Only you know if it resonates. Obviously I don't know you, so can only go on what you've said. I hope I haven't offended you.

In terms of your boyfriend. I'll be honest, I don't think it sounds positive. From what you've said he seems to makes you feel quite anxious and doesn't seem very committed. In fact, from what you've explained, truthfully, he's out and worse he's blaming you for it.

Don't lower your standards for this person. He's not worth it.
 
I’m just stressed out and struggling today. It’s easy to blame and shout and take it all out on me. This is what the narcissist does you see... it’s always my fault and easy to shout at me and belittle me.
I always thought there would be much more to life than this...
I’m slowly dipping back into my old habits, in my dark place.
Has anybody woken up and felt like you’ve entered a dark place, life the world has shifted? It’s terrifying.
I’m overeating a lot. Some might say dangerously so...
I’ve just felt bullied all my life. I feel so alone. Painfully alone.
 
Hey everyone, just found this thread on here by chance.

I’ve no one else to talk to about this. You know when you’ve had one of those days never ending, well today’s one of those days, on top of months of not being myself with the anxiety and depression I don’t know if my mental state is contributing to the whole situation and blowing it out of proportion. me and my partner don’t live together right now I txt him to say are you free as I’d like to ring. He’s like no not right now too busy he will be at home watching tv. I’ve multiple different things I want to fill him in with so he says that and That’s kinda left me feeling a bit meh deflated. He’s like this all the time, he says he misses me all that kinda crap but whenever I want to speak to it’s never a right time it’s kinda left me feeling tit. Am I being stupid? Or does someone need to smack some sense into me.
 
I am really sorry you are feeling this way. In life, people come and go - you are the only constant in your life. It’s important to love and care for yourself. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend. They and focus on the positives - sometimes we forget the good and only focus on the bad. Have you told your partner how you feel? Sometimes they don’t understand or even know why you are upset. ❤️
 
I am really sorry you are feeling this way. In life, people come and go - you are the only constant in your life. It’s important to love and care for yourself. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend. They and focus on the positives - sometimes we forget the good and only focus on the bad. Have you told your partner how you feel? Sometimes they don’t understand or even know why you are upset. ❤
I text him afterwards explaining and never got a reply. He always avoids confrontation. I don’t even know if I can do this whole relationship anymore, he says he misses me but physically doesn’t show it. All words no action. Is this a sign of the end, it’s been on my mind for a while now.
 
I text him afterwards explaining and never got a reply. He always avoids confrontation. I don’t even know if I can do this whole relationship anymore, he says he misses me but physically doesn’t show it. All words no action. Is this a sign of the end, it’s been on my mind for a while now.
It’s important to concentrate on what makes you happy. At the moment it does not appear that this relationship is. You are reaching out and he is not responding- relationships are a 2 way thing! If a friend or relative was in similar situation- what would you say to them? ❤️
 
It’s important to concentrate on what makes you happy. At the moment it does not appear that this relationship is. You are reaching out and he is not responding- relationships are a 2 way thing! If a friend or relative was in similar situation- what would you say to them? ❤
I’d probably say the same as you. Time to pull up my big girl pants and get it over with. Thank you for listening ❤️
 
I’ve just kicked off with my husband because I’m jealous of a girl on TikTok who he likes. She’s beautiful and funny and the complete opposite of me. I used to be really jealous but these days it’s rare for me to let stuff like that bother me so I don’t even know where it came from. His reaction is what hurts the most though. Every time I get upset about anything or tell him something that bothers me (bearing in mind we don’t argue often at all) he doesn’t communicate with me, he just gets annoyed, tells me to leave him alone and then after a day or two it’ll blow over but nothing is actually resolved if that makes sense? I don’t know why him following this girl (she’s like a well known tiktokker) has bothered me so much 😢
 
I’ve just kicked off with my husband because I’m jealous of a girl on TikTok who he likes. She’s beautiful and funny and the complete opposite of me. I used to be really jealous but these days it’s rare for me to let stuff like that bother me so I don’t even know where it came from. His reaction is what hurts the most though. Every time I get upset about anything or tell him something that bothers me (bearing in mind we don’t argue often at all) he doesn’t communicate with me, he just gets annoyed, tells me to leave him alone and then after a day or two it’ll blow over but nothing is actually resolved if that makes sense? I don’t know why him following this girl (she’s like a well known tiktokker) has bothered me so much 😢
Oh I’ve been there, it’s okay for him to do things like that but not me as he wouldn’t like it. I don’t get why men are obsessed with girls like this as they know they wouldn’t give them the time of day in real life. Any men on here who can give their input?
 
I might be the only one to actually be jealous of NOT HER but what she has! Have no one! No family, not any good friends. I do have an amazing daughter though. I’m so sick of her and her bullshit attempts at feeling sorry for herself. It’s Christmas and I have nothing/not one thing! No one to ask for help, no one to go to. I do have have family, really wealthy family actually. But they cut me off years ago for telling my truth about my step father, but they chose to believe him and stay in the money loop. My sibling lives in a massive 5 bed house, drives beautiful cars and goes on 4-5 holidays every year. I was left (I walked away really) with my kid and now live in a tiny wee flat that I hate, I never leave the place. I haven’t had a holiday in over 6 years only been 2 holidays my whole life 45 years. I couldn’t even afford an advent calander this year. My mental health is the worst it’s ever been EVER, I’m only here because of my kid and that’s because without me she has no one. A has her mum/dad/sis all there everyday. I would love to take my kid on holiday but there’s never enough money left. I have no idea how I’m gona do Xmas and the thought of another lonely day watching all these families is killing me. If the worst I had was some stranger on the Internet telling me to unalive myself then I’d think I was ok/pretty lucky. She never ever will think herself lucky in life, will always be the victim. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking why is life so hard. Yet this tool gets everything handed to her in life! Aimee just stop for one day and realise how lucky you are.
 
I might be the only one to actually be jealous of NOT HER but what she has! Have no one! No family, not any good friends. I do have an amazing daughter though. I’m so sick of her and her bullshit attempts at feeling sorry for herself. It’s Christmas and I have nothing/not one thing! No one to ask for help, no one to go to. I do have have family, really wealthy family actually. But they cut me off years ago for telling my truth about my step father, but they chose to believe him and stay in the money loop. My sibling lives in a massive 5 bed house, drives beautiful cars and goes on 4-5 holidays every year. I was left (I walked away really) with my kid and now live in a tiny wee flat that I hate, I never leave the place. I haven’t had a holiday in over 6 years only been 2 holidays my whole life 45 years. I couldn’t even afford an advent calander this year. My mental health is the worst it’s ever been EVER, I’m only here because of my kid and that’s because without me she has no one. A has her mum/dad/sis all there everyday. I would love to take my kid on holiday but there’s never enough money left. I have no idea how I’m gona do Xmas and the thought of another lonely day watching all these families is killing me. If the worst I had was some stranger on the Internet telling me to unalive myself then I’d think I was ok/pretty lucky. She never ever will think herself lucky in life, will always be the victim. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking why is life so hard. Yet this tool gets everything handed to her in life! Aimee just stop for one day and realise how lucky you are.
Oh god luv I'm so so sorry I truly am❤. I don't even know how to word what I'm gona write I have a lump in my throat after reading ur post and I hope I don't offend u with anything I say sometimes im not so good at wording what I mean. I'll tell u one thing u certainly do have, is morals! How a family can disown u and choose money over family is disgusting!! I'm sorry you don't have any support. makes me absolutely sick these folk who have no idea what a hard life is playing the victim. You show up every day for ur daughter u keep going for her and for that you should be proud! You sound like a great mum who puts her child first. I know we are all just strangers on here but I'm always open to chat away from here even if u just want someone to vent too. If there is any way in which I can help I will. I really wish the best for you and ur daughter. This thread and others do have many members who are very supportive and kind and we are all here to support u it may not be much from behind a screen but If even a daily rant or chat helps then I'm sure many others agree we are all here and will listen 💖
 
I might be the only one to actually be jealous of NOT HER but what she has! Have no one! No family, not any good friends. I do have an amazing daughter though. I’m so sick of her and her bullshit attempts at feeling sorry for herself. It’s Christmas and I have nothing/not one thing! No one to ask for help, no one to go to. I do have have family, really wealthy family actually. But they cut me off years ago for telling my truth about my step father, but they chose to believe him and stay in the money loop. My sibling lives in a massive 5 bed house, drives beautiful cars and goes on 4-5 holidays every year. I was left (I walked away really) with my kid and now live in a tiny wee flat that I hate, I never leave the place. I haven’t had a holiday in over 6 years only been 2 holidays my whole life 45 years. I couldn’t even afford an advent calander this year. My mental health is the worst it’s ever been EVER, I’m only here because of my kid and that’s because without me she has no one. A has her mum/dad/sis all there everyday. I would love to take my kid on holiday but there’s never enough money left. I have no idea how I’m gona do Xmas and the thought of another lonely day watching all these families is killing me. If the worst I had was some stranger on the Internet telling me to unalive myself then I’d think I was ok/pretty lucky. She never ever will think herself lucky in life, will always be the victim. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking why is life so hard. Yet this tool gets everything handed to her in life! Aimee just stop for one day and realise how lucky you are.

Oh my gosh this is heartbreaking but I am so proud of you (even as a stranger). I’d love to help you, even just a little so if there is something I can get for your daughter as a little Christmas gift then please do let me know. If you have an Amazon wish list I would gladly buy something from it. You are so brave, and you’re showing your daughter every good reason to always ensure her safety. People who stay in situations like that for money can’t ever be truly happy, even despite the obvious showings of wealth. You are worth 1,000,000 Aimees.
Keep strong my lovely, you have an army of support on here. ❤️❤️
 
I might be the only one to actually be jealous of NOT HER but what she has! Have no one! No family, not any good friends. I do have an amazing daughter though. I’m so sick of her and her bullshit attempts at feeling sorry for herself. It’s Christmas and I have nothing/not one thing! No one to ask for help, no one to go to. I do have have family, really wealthy family actually. But they cut me off years ago for telling my truth about my step father, but they chose to believe him and stay in the money loop. My sibling lives in a massive 5 bed house, drives beautiful cars and goes on 4-5 holidays every year. I was left (I walked away really) with my kid and now live in a tiny wee flat that I hate, I never leave the place. I haven’t had a holiday in over 6 years only been 2 holidays my whole life 45 years. I couldn’t even afford an advent calander this year. My mental health is the worst it’s ever been EVER, I’m only here because of my kid and that’s because without me she has no one. A has her mum/dad/sis all there everyday. I would love to take my kid on holiday but there’s never enough money left. I have no idea how I’m gona do Xmas and the thought of another lonely day watching all these families is killing me. If the worst I had was some stranger on the Internet telling me to unalive myself then I’d think I was ok/pretty lucky. She never ever will think herself lucky in life, will always be the victim. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking why is life so hard. Yet this tool gets everything handed to her in life! Aimee just stop for one day and realise how lucky you are.
I can only echo what everyone else has said❤️❤️❤️
 
I might be the only one to actually be jealous of NOT HER but what she has! Have no one! No family, not any good friends. I do have an amazing daughter though. I’m so sick of her and her bullshit attempts at feeling sorry for herself. It’s Christmas and I have nothing/not one thing! No one to ask for help, no one to go to. I do have have family, really wealthy family actually. But they cut me off years ago for telling my truth about my step father, but they chose to believe him and stay in the money loop. My sibling lives in a massive 5 bed house, drives beautiful cars and goes on 4-5 holidays every year. I was left (I walked away really) with my kid and now live in a tiny wee flat that I hate, I never leave the place. I haven’t had a holiday in over 6 years only been 2 holidays my whole life 45 years. I couldn’t even afford an advent calander this year. My mental health is the worst it’s ever been EVER, I’m only here because of my kid and that’s because without me she has no one. A has her mum/dad/sis all there everyday. I would love to take my kid on holiday but there’s never enough money left. I have no idea how I’m gona do Xmas and the thought of another lonely day watching all these families is killing me. If the worst I had was some stranger on the Internet telling me to unalive myself then I’d think I was ok/pretty lucky. She never ever will think herself lucky in life, will always be the victim. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking why is life so hard. Yet this tool gets everything handed to her in life! Aimee just stop for one day and realise how lucky you are.
Bless you lovely
You have more than money can buy
Your child is lucky to have you, you have protected her, and you have to bear the cost of that, but that has shown her mire love than anything xx
So sorry things are hard for you and I wish I could send something to you and your daughter
Please look at the website http://www.turn2us.org.uk
They can help sort out finances, make sure you are getting what you are entitled to and I think have a list of charities that you can apply to for all kinds of stuff
My daughter has used them and they are brilliant
She’s had a holiday from Family Fund, they don’t just offer holidays but you do hsve to meet their criteria, and she’s also had money for a new bed from a charity that helps ex retail staff
Please remember there is someone here all the time
I would say practically all of us will listen to you
Please please look at the links I posted and any questions please ask xx
EDIT
You may be able to apply for a one off crisis payment (not loan) you don’t have to pay it back from your local council and a lot of gas and electricity providers can write off one bill if you can prove financial hardship
Worth a try x
---
Facebook usually has local pages where things are given for free and you may be able to say on your local ones that it’s an asking post and does anyone have any games for a ? Year old please
Or does anyone have a slow cooker they no longer need please
Things like that
 
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Oh god luv I'm so so sorry I truly am❤. I don't even know how to word what I'm gona write I have a lump in my throat after reading ur post and I hope I don't offend u with anything I say sometimes im not so good at wording what I mean. I'll tell u one thing u certainly do have, is morals! How a family can disown u and choose money over family is disgusting!! I'm sorry you don't have any support. makes me absolutely sick these folk who have no idea what a hard life is playing the victim. You show up every day for ur daughter u keep going for her and for that you should be proud! You sound like a great mum who puts her child first. I know we are all just strangers on here but I'm always open to chat away from here even if u just want someone to vent too. If there is any way in which I can help I will. I really wish the best for you and ur daughter. This thread and others do have many members who are very supportive and kind and we are all here to support u it may not be much from behind a screen but If even a daily rant or chat helps then I'm sure many others agree we are all here and will listen 💖

I completely echo this ♥️ @Elliesmum13 I just wanna give you a big hug! I'm so proud of you. 🩷
 
I might be the only one to actually be jealous of NOT HER but what she has! Have no one! No family, not any good friends. I do have an amazing daughter though. I’m so sick of her and her bullshit attempts at feeling sorry for herself. It’s Christmas and I have nothing/not one thing! No one to ask for help, no one to go to. I do have have family, really wealthy family actually. But they cut me off years ago for telling my truth about my step father, but they chose to believe him and stay in the money loop. My sibling lives in a massive 5 bed house, drives beautiful cars and goes on 4-5 holidays every year. I was left (I walked away really) with my kid and now live in a tiny wee flat that I hate, I never leave the place. I haven’t had a holiday in over 6 years only been 2 holidays my whole life 45 years. I couldn’t even afford an advent calander this year. My mental health is the worst it’s ever been EVER, I’m only here because of my kid and that’s because without me she has no one. A has her mum/dad/sis all there everyday. I would love to take my kid on holiday but there’s never enough money left. I have no idea how I’m gona do Xmas and the thought of another lonely day watching all these families is killing me. If the worst I had was some stranger on the Internet telling me to unalive myself then I’d think I was ok/pretty lucky. She never ever will think herself lucky in life, will always be the victim. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking why is life so hard. Yet this tool gets everything handed to her in life! Aimee just stop for one day and realise how lucky you are.
You have got more than she will ever have. Deep inside. I would love to help you if I can? Like another has said if you have a wish list or something we can buy your daughter or you! Stay strong you have got this! 🤍
 
@Elliesmum13 you are a very brave and strong mum and your daughter knows you are there for her. Like everyone else has said if I can help in anyway I would love to. There is a great guy james Anderson who runs a charity decper ( think I've split that wrong ) Google james Anderson plumber and you'll find his info he might be able to help you out with Christmas coming up xxxx
 
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