Ashley James #35 Poor Alf and Ada, Mum’s a dick and Dad’s got no balls

[willowtree2]

It’s desperate times when you’re making reels about your playroom floor that got done weeks ago

It’s now covered with the Gus and Beau’s owners verruca juice cos they don’t keep their socks on laying it

Lovely day x

 

[BB09]

This holiday we will get:
1. Reel of the standard “this time last year” and now with her in bikini doing her mad blinking

2. post on how she used to be such a free spirit and travel SO much, despite since having kids she’s only gone to 5 star luxury hotels that are not even kid friendly along with numerous photos of her old travels

3. Post on how she can’t wait to go back to travelling without kids once she can bin them and TNB off ( we guess around age 5) and get “ her pink back”

4. How hard it is travelling long haul with 2 small kids long haul ( no tit) and how no one offered to babysit the kids for the whole flight and she had to parent her own kids..! And if she was living in Denmark at least 4 old ladies would have come to her rescue so she could get some rest and somehow it’s the governments fault for not giving her a full time live inNanny.

5. how different her kids are and how wonderful Ada is and how awful Alfie is on the flight / at dinner/ in kids club

6. post about how only her kids have an affinity to water ( that’s why there have those middle names) even though it’s not a river or Blue and that’s why they must travel over 9 hours to be on a beach due to their middle names. Not that most kids like swimming or being in water.

 

[littlepup]

I wonder if she and TNB will actually share a bed… or room?!

 

[YahBasic]

I wonder if she and TNB will actually share a bed… or room?!

He’ll be in with Alf & she’ll be in with Ada. Unless it was too expensive/not gifted and they will all be in together, it’ll be hell on earth and TNB is sleeping on the balcony.

 

[Tank Girl]

Remember she was sleeping on the bathroom floor of like a five star hotel a few weeks ago with #Ad

 

[screenfreelookatme]

I know it’s wrong of me, but I hope Ada does have a tan and it ruins all of Ashley’s content

 

[hadtosayit88]

Is she suddenly having all these PT sessions because it’s the lead up to her holiday and she’s planning endless bikini reels?

 

[Marmite.Crumpets]

Is she suddenly having all these PT sessions because it’s the lead up to her holiday and she’s planning endless bikini reels?

Absolutely! There can't be any other reason. She did the same after Alf with that £££ yoga mirror. Under the same guise of I'm not doing it to loose weight, I'm just correcting my body after Alf.

 

[YahBasic]

Absolutely! There can't be any other reason. She did the same after Alf with that £££ yoga mirror. Under the same guise of I'm not doing it to loose weight, I'm just correcting my body after Alf.

Have her bones moved back yet?

 

[willowtree2]

Most non-narcissistic parents worry about their child’s lack of sleep and how crap they feel when they’re poorly.
Ash is more worried how SHE is struggling with tiredness. Botox making her look evil as always.

 

[Pat MyCock]

Why is she fake tanning? I would prioritise sleep, always.

Maldives are LOVELY, but not with 'littles' LOL

 

[Flossie2]

Fully expecting Alf in last year’s summer clothes, or some inappropriate for the heat ones that she has ready for winter, plus maybe some Tu that she got cheap. His footwear will be those Crocs Rara’s daughter bought him.

Ash will be in a selection of bikinis (that are too small) and Tommy in new PE kit, while Ada has enough new clothes for 3 outfits a day, plus swimwear (hope Ash packs a rash vest or a UV swim set)

I’m creased!

 

[Raa]

Don’t forgot the before and after bikini pics saying how her body has changed and how it’s fed and birthed the babies and the tits overspilling in the one too small because she won’t size up

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

Standing on a sandy beach, child in each arm, Alf looking vacant and glazed and Ad looking too warm, captioned ‘my body grew them’

we probably need to do a Bingo card to be honest

 

[BusyDoinNuffin]

This holiday we will get:
1. Reel of the standard “this time last year” and now with her in bikini doing her mad blinking

2. post on how she used to be such a free spirit and travel SO much, despite since having kids she’s only gone to 5 star luxury hotels that are not even kid friendly along with numerous photos of her old travels

3. Post on how she can’t wait to go back to travelling without kids once she can bin them and TNB off ( we guess around age 5) and get “ her pink back”

4. How hard it is travelling long haul with 2 small kids long haul ( no tit) and how no one offered to babysit the kids for the whole flight and she had to parent her own kids..! And if she was living in Denmark at least 4 old ladies would have come to her rescue so she could get some rest and somehow it’s the governments fault for not giving her a full time live inNanny.

5. how different her kids are and how wonderful Ada is and how awful Alfie is on the flight / at dinner/ in kids club

6. post about how only her kids have an affinity to water ( that’s why there have those middle names) even though it’s not a river or Blue and that’s why they must travel over 9 hours to be on a beach due to their middle names. Not that most kids like swimming or being in water.

7. Many posts laying on the bed bleating on about how lonely she is and different her holidays are now, despite being away with her partner and littles in an amazing place that many could only dream of.

8. her and Tommy have said they can’t wait to back, just the two of them once the littles are older. They’ve both said they can see themselves living there.

9. Footage of high drama at 10,000 feet where she spills a load of pumped milk. If men had to pump mid air, turbulence wouldn’t exist.

10. Ada in a gifted outfit #ad

11. Alfie in a gifted outfit #ad

12. photo of Ada in the co-pilots seat, already smashing life and showing signs of breaking gender stereo types and some retrospective name change to the first ever female commercial pilot because when they flew when Ash was pregnant Ada helped land the plane through the medium of kicks.

13. Blinking, blinking, breastfeeding in bikini, blinking, pumping in bikini, blinking

14. oily bun and gold hoops

15 through 200. Blowing kisses to mark the end of every story/reel/post.

 

[Elle055]

I wanna see her stood on one leg in a pink bikini by the ocean with the caption "finally getting my pink back", or I won't be satisfied.

 

[willowtree2]

There will be a scenario where a man on the plane will have a go at her for having her b00b out feeding.
Completely made up scenario of course. We all know that never happened.

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

Family breakfast, both kids obviously looking at a screen but they obscure it with a bowl of fruit

 

[Tank Girl]

Alf will have a bowl of grated cheese. Baby Genius Healer Old Soul #Ad of course will favour the local delicacies because she’s been here before #canyoucope x

 

[Rocky Rosd]

The last lot of posts have made me laugh out loud. And however extreme they may sound to the uninitiated, I reckon most of them will happen. Can’t wait to call bingo!