Alfie Deyes #4 A poorly made GTA character

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yayayahey said:
As far as I can tell, this is a multi-day event being run by a charity, and Alfie hasn't yet said how long he is doing. I don't think he's even doing the full London segment - he will just turn up for an hour for PR for the charity (read: PR for HIMSELF) and then piss off back to Brighton. There is no way he is doing the full 215 miles...
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He said he was rowing the whole of the Thames and then when that was done rowing over to France I thought? Can’t remember where I’ve got that from though
 
Didn't he do one day (probably just an hour or two ) of learning the basics on a small sheltered area of water a fair while ago ? Probably convinced himself he would be doing lots more afterwards but no evidence of that and it was long enough ago that he's probably forgotten half of it. Is it this weekend? God I'm excited - mainly for the discussion here.
 
STJ_95 said:
Yeah he definitely said that, I remember it in a vlog he said it was the Thames and the Channel He definitely said it.
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Hilarious. There is absolutely no chance such an inexperienced kayaker is going to cross the channel, even with teams of professional support - they just wouldn't allow it. It's the busiest shipping lane in the world and gets pretty choppy. If he would have put his mind to it, trained hard, kayaked a lot around Britain with experienced teachers etc, then perhaps. Whatever happens is going to be a let down...
 
STJ_95 said:
Yeah he definitely said that, I remember it in a vlog he said it was the Thames and the Channel He definitely said it.
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Cannot. Bloody. Wait. 😂



Still reckon we’ll get some bullshit about being injured, can picture it now

Yo guys. I really wanted to do it, I got really sick at it, but I caught my dangly earring in the new Face mask thing I got and the medical team have ruled me out.

Please all donate though it’s a great cause.

Cut to him sitting on the top of his skate ramp watching others actually skate.
 
Everyone tweet this to him....

shark.jpg
 
Srh1984 said:
Cannot. Bloody. Wait. 😂



Still reckon we’ll get some bullshit about being injured, can picture it now

Yo guys. I really wanted to do it, I got really sick at it, but I caught my dangly earring in the new Face mask thing I got and the medical team have ruled me out.

Please all donate though it’s a great cause.

Cut to him sitting on the top of his skate ramp watching others actually skate.
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Funniest thing I’ve read all day. Dangly earring 🤣
 
I want to borrow Alfie my mom.

When I was a kid and I said 'oh cool I've tried this once now and now I'm in love with it I'm gonna do this every day now, mum can you buy these things for me so I can be a pro at it?' she always replied with 'try it for two or three months and we'll talk again.' That (almost) never happened.

Alfie needs a mom like that. Not someone who keeps saying 'good for you, i love you, i know you can do it' (assuming she's like that)

Or maybe he just needs some common sense. But that's something you learn when you're younger, right?

He literally tried kayaking once and then decided to go on some insane trip. How on earth does that happen?

I mean it's the same as we'd see Zoe post an insta story right now saying: 'guys I LOVED running so much, it made me feel so good and it is soo good for your health I signed in for a marathon in three months time now, cheerio!'
 
Alightened said:
Well he never sticks to No. 9 does he. When has he ever tried again if he's failed at something🙄🙄. He just makes excuses as to why he couldn't do it and then it's totally forgotten about🤔


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I've revised that list to what is more accurate and in tuned with Alfie's actual life.

1. Your attitude: (Alfie's version) always make excuses for his projects being delayed or never seeing light of day... i.e. his 90 day challenge and everything else going on in his life. Oh no! He has mouth ulcers and is feeling sick again. Scheduled vlog will come out later than expected.
2. Your thoughts: (Alfie's version) post 'savage' quotes on IG but not follow through on any of it. Think of yourself as a philosopher who is deep and wise but in actuality is a total knob-head.
3. The people you surround yourself with: (Alfie's version) hire your friends who are definitely not qualified for said position to help run your business... into the ground.
4. Your physical well-being: (Alfie's version) see the lack of progress on 90 day challenge. Also, eating healthy is overrated when you have a partner who eats complete garbage 24/7. Hello Wagamama's, Nando's, Domino's, Dum Dum donuts, and packaged food from Waitrose.
5. How you treat others: (Alfie's version) take advantage of everyone in his life and they are only of importance when he needs something. See Zoe (in thumbnails). Joe and Dianne. Or all of his friends that he plays pranks on or forces them to do something stupid while he chickens out.
6. Whether you ask for help or not: (Alfie's version) see his friends who have to work odd hours on weekends or to call and have fix your flat tire because you still can't bother to learn how to change a flat. Or use AA.
7. Your gratitude towards what you have: (Alfie's version) see his pool form last year that cost only £1000 and rotted away in the garden most of the year only to end up in a landfill. Also see the gifted grill, BMX bikes, the half-pipe that he personally doesn't use... and let's not forget all the garbage that occupies their spare rooms between the two mansions houses.
8. How you spend/invest your money: (Alfie's version) refer to no. 7 or no. 3.
9. Whether or not you try again after a setback: (Alfie's version) refer to Alfie's life. Try again after a setback?! It doesn't exist. Ask Alfie's half-pipe how that's working out.
10. Your daily habits: (Alfie's version) continue to spend excessively, continue to not expand your knowledge and regress in maturity, reminisce in the past, pretend to be environmentally friendly but also keep buying :poop: he doesn't need. AVOID topics of marriage and starting a family with your girlfriend of many years....
 
thenomad said:
I've revised that list to what is more accurate and in tuned with Alfie's actual life.

1. Your attitude: (Alfie's version) always make excuses for his projects being delayed or never seeing light of day... i.e. his 90 day challenge and everything else going on in his life. Oh no! He has mouth ulcers and is feeling sick again. Scheduled vlog will come out later than expected.
2. Your thoughts: (Alfie's version) post 'savage' quotes on IG but not follow through on any of it. Think of yourself as a philosopher who is deep and wise but in actuality is a total knob-head.
3. The people you surround yourself with: (Alfie's version) hire your friends who are definitely not qualified for said position to help run your business... into the ground.
4. Your physical well-being: (Alfie's version) see the lack of progress on 90 day challenge. Also, eating healthy is overrated when you have a partner who eats complete garbage 24/7. Hello Wagamama's, Nando's, Domino's, Dum Dum donuts, and packaged food from Waitrose.
5. How you treat others: (Alfie's version) take advantage of everyone in his life and they are only of importance when he needs something. See Zoe (in thumbnails). Joe and Dianne. Or all of his friends that he plays pranks on or forces them to do something stupid while he chickens out.
6. Whether you ask for help or not: (Alfie's version) see his friends who have to work odd hours on weekends or to call and have fix your flat tire because you still can't bother to learn how to change a flat. Or use AA.
7. Your gratitude towards what you have: (Alfie's version) see his pool form last year that cost only £1000 and rotted away in the garden most of the year only to end up in a landfill. Also see the gifted grill, BMX bikes, the half-pipe that he personally doesn't use... and let's not forget all the garbage that occupies their spare rooms between the two mansions houses.
8. How you spend/invest your money: (Alfie's version) refer to no. 7 or no. 3.
9. Whether or not you try again after a setback: (Alfie's version) refer to Alfie's life. Try again after a setback?! It doesn't exist. Ask Alfie's half-pipe how that's working out.
10. Your daily habits: (Alfie's version) continue to spend excessively, continue to not expand your knowledge and regress in maturity, reminisce in the past, pretend to be environmentally friendly but also keep buying :poop: he doesn't need. AVOID topics of marriage and starting a family with your girlfriend of many years....
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How’s his piano and slackline going?
Sorry. Pro skaters are way too cool for piano aren’t they.

Alfie should get a pair of these and some gum shields so he doesn’t smash his gnashers out. You can even change the size so all his mates can have a go 😂😂
 

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Alightened said:
Well he never sticks to No. 9 does he. When has he ever tried again if he's failed at something🙄🙄. He just makes excuses as to why he couldn't do it and then it's totally forgotten about🤔


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This may as well be titled the rich, abled bodied, privileged boys top 10.

2. If you have mental health issues then you're not always able to control your thoughts
3. It's easier to control who is around you when you can fill an office with your friends. Most people have to suck it up and get along with people because their work, or home, or safety depends on it
4. If you have a physical disability then you're not always able to control your physical wellbeing
6. Tough to ask for help if you have no support networks. Perhaps you don't live near your family, or they don't have money to bail you out, or if you ask your boss for help they will fire you
8. You can't always control how you spend your money (landlord puts your rent up? Deal with it) and for most people investing money is so far out of their reach when they are living pay day to pay day
10. Your daily habits aren't always in your control when you're juggling job/s, caring for family, and keeping all your plates spinning
 
mustbeme said:
I want to borrow Alfie my mom.

When I was a kid and I said 'oh cool I've tried this once now and now I'm in love with it I'm gonna do this every day now, mum can you buy these things for me so I can be a pro at it?' she always replied with 'try it for two or three months and we'll talk again.' That (almost) never happened.

Alfie needs a mom like that. Not someone who keeps saying 'good for you, i love you, i know you can do it' (assuming she's like that)

Or maybe he just needs some common sense. But that's something you learn when you're younger, right?

He literally tried kayaking once and then decided to go on some insane trip. How on earth does that happen?

I mean it's the same as we'd see Zoe post an insta story right now saying: 'guys I LOVED running so much, it made me feel so good and it is soo good for your health I signed in for a marathon in three months time now, cheerio!'
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Well Amanda, although sweet and seems rather lovely, also seems to be a pushover where her children are concerned. Like when Alfie rung her to say he had to be in his old room the other day for a video, she sounded like whatever he needs is his, and I think that's always been the mentality with both him and Poppy. They're both very spoilt and have never had to really work for anything, and she still enables his behavior as he gets older.

Amanda and Nick constantly look after Nala and their home, come over for Nick to do a BBQ because Alfie doesn't know how, and countless other things that neither him nor Zoe couldn't care less about learning how to do for themselves.
 
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