Zoella De Vile - Cordially Invites Pedos and Torys to Casa De Zalfe

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I think zoes had proper relationships before, he hasn't - she got him to admit this on a video and seamed pretty pleased that he'd never loved anyone before he met her.

I can't see Alf with anyone outgoing or adventurous because he likes to think zoes held him back but in reality he's just as boring.

Agree about the bottle, this is Katy Perry s. The zoella stuff is just a generic bottle with a label, cheap as chips to buy in rather than going to the effort and expense of doing something special.
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Just on the perfume again - all of the bottles are the same shape right? Maybe she just bought x amount in bulk to save money and just tarts them up with what ever tit she thinks is popular or... she wants all of her previous 'collections' to match in her hoarders cupboard.
 
Albert_Chris said:
Just on the perfume again - all of the bottles are the same shape right? Maybe she just bought x amount in bulk to save money and just tarts them up with what ever tit she thinks is popular or... she wants all of her previous 'collections' to match in her hoarders cupboard.
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It'll be because the people that make the perfume SLG buy a huge number in bulk so they can use the same bottle for many perfumes they make, I think. All about money.

Zoe has very little input into it, as she proved with her business meeting videos where she just came across as a passenger.
 
GossWhore said:
Can we all sit back and laugh at this screenshot

Zoe pretending she's relaunching her blog

Nearly SEVEN MONTHS later. Nothing!

Totes #BossGirl
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Lol literally they hired photographers and editors to work specifically on this what have they been doing all year?
 
It's like she's given up on life. She did about a weeks "work" with rough notes scribbled and left for the book editors to make readable. Then just spends her days watching herself on vlogs.
 
Helloally said:
Ok I think I was kind of harsh with her description because I used weaknesses.. but my point is that I imagine Alfie with someone very outgoing and social, which Zoe isn’t. To be fair I kind of respect her more for not changing for him.. I just think they’d be so much happier with other people. Alfie has never had another serious girlfriend (right?) he doesn’t know how different everything could be.
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off topic but: I appreciate your reflection/correction so much! I liked your first comment and didn't even thought if it could be too harsh but now you said it I think so too. Sorry if it's too off topic, but I really really value this reflected analysis/criticism over trashy insulting (not that your first comment was this way but I think you know what I mean) :)
 
nemidiso said:
off topic but: I appreciate your reflection/correction so much! I liked your first comment and didn't even thought if it could be too harsh but now you said it I think so too. Sorry if it's too off topic, but I really really value this reflected analysis/criticism over trashy insulting (not that your first comment was this way but I think you know what I mean) :)
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Aw thanks for noticing! I don’t mean to insult Zoe for the sake of it.. I think most of us respected and liked her at some point and I like to think that IF she were to read any of these threads she’d take something out of it.
 
Looks like Tanya had the job of babysitting while Alf is away. I'm sure they have security or whatever (probably not the helicopters they think..) so it's safe to spend a night by yourself.

Always find it a bit strange adults that are so dependant they can't ever be alone.
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It's me said:
Have either of them had a proper relationship?

I only ask because I have only watched Zoella way back when on the odd occasion when her and Louise were chummies and they would pop to Primark together that kind of thing. I always felt Zoella was just a much of muchness like the other beauty YouTubers all rave this month about an eyebrow pencil which at the time was probably affordable to their audience. So haven't really watched her for years as you can tell
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yeah she mentioned he never had a gf before her

and I believe she had a really nasty bf before 1pounder, think it was talked about in a car-karaoke with louis... can't remember exactly
 
Yel said:
Looks like Tanya had the job of babysitting while Alf is away. I'm sure they have security or whatever (probably not the helicopters they think..) so it's safe to spend a night by yourself.

Always find it a bit strange adults that are so dependant they can't ever be alone.
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wow crazy old looking


ooh and 1pounder & her are still tog al.png
 
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MY GIRL IS BACK VLOGGING, SO THAT MEANS THE RETURN OF VIDEO RECAPS

Z1.jpg

  • 2 seconds in (no joke) I could tell she has given up on Youtube --- she didn't even bother caption the date of the video, just "Thursday - Office Day"
  • She then whines about "having really busy couple of weeks" whilst being ill, Narla being ill and attending a wedding -- hard life our girl Zoella lives
  • She explains about recording with Briony an audio for the trailer of the book? -- WHY? I do not know
  • She shows part of the audio recording -- her exact words "I hope Cordially Invited gets you inspired to get people together and make an occasion out of everyday" --- IS SHE FORREAL? Just because she throws parties every 5 seconds does not mean other people have the time OR money OR both. She is really deluded with "occasion out of every day".
  • Briony: "Super impressive reading out loud, I definitely would of fumbled" --- Briony acts like Zoe is a 5 year old
  • "We had a meeting with someone doing a new Vlogmas for the channel" -- she seems done with Youtube, but will still get that Vlogmas money!
  • Back at it again "showing" clips on meetings [I will insert a pic].
Z2.jpg

  • Total girl boss with "I like that design"
  • Zoe has jelly beans in a jar in the office and sat there picking for the pink ones with Maddie --- these are SHARED! YUCK!!
  • Zoe "We are about to do a Skype call for a very important meeting. But I don't think its worth sharing as its very very early. But very exciting. Something I have never done or worked on before" -- Is this the Girl Online film deal? God forbid its Netflix or worse...Disney!
  • She legit worked for a second then started talking to Maddie about a TV show -- lol -- she cannot concentrate for longer than a millisecond
  • Shows off a new range of Zoella beauty crap called "COSMOS"-- same tit: rollerballs, body mist, body creme etc
  • Friday aka "Inflatable Fun" day (thats how she captioned it) -- again, no date
  • "Mark is about to smell the mist for the first time, Alfie have you smelt it"? -- Funny she cares more about Marks opinion and forgot if her bf had smelt it or not
  • Zoe: "I think the scents a good evening scent" -- GURL PLEASE. I SMELT YOUR PREVIOUS BODY MIST.
  • They have builders in their home repainting etc, REALLY? They need maintenance on the house already?

  • So Zalfie, Soppy and Mark went to an obstacle course whilst her staff worked, but its OK they meet them later as "team bonding" -- I would rather sting pins in my eyes then bond with Alfie Deyes
  • NEXT MORNING: "I was absolutely knackered, that shows you cannot run around like a child as an adult" -- well maybe you could if you were actually fit and didn't leave off Pizza
  • Pancakes for breakfast -- how different
  • She also threw away a pancake because it was not aesthetically pleasing. REALLY?
  • "I love watching people decorate pancakes. Shows who they are" -- it really is not that deep
  • First it was canoles instead of candles, now cashooes instead of cashews
  • She is filming a video for a brand -- so an ad? Any guesses who?

THE LONG ASS WOO ME I NEED A BREAK TALKS BEGINS AT 26:53
  • "When I started this 10 years ago I talked about how I felt, I now think I have overshared" --- that was what her fans loved then she tried retreating and now shes fcked
  • "The platform is changing and its a scary place to be sometimes" -- basically YT are not paying me due to crappy algorithms
  • "I would be lying that every day of those 10 years has been the best days of my life" -- but most of the worst days (book scandal, driving whilst vlogging, Hello World) she created those messes!!!
  • "Some things have made it a little hard to enjoy what I do. Like the amount of people and expectations and how people see me like content creators and media outlets" -- still blaming the press for portraying her negativity like she is not responsible. Also is that content creator Louise?
  • "I didn't start this to build a career" -- but you did and you made a tit tonne of money from it, so take ownership of it.
  • "I hate the expectations and pressure that comes with this" -- Basically I created a fake relatable girl next door persona and now cannot live up to it
  • "I feel like I can't fully be myself online" --- see above bullet point
  • "The culture of what Youtube is right now, is so not what is was 10 years" -- basically blaming "call-out culture" for her demise, all this woo me bs is exhausting
  • "I feel I cannot be myself as people are circling me like hawks. Waiting for me for me to do something" -- tbh I am waiting for her to do SOMETHING. ANYTHING. But I am not waiting for her demise, most of us used to sub to Zoe and would prefer her to thrive honestly instead of shilling teenagers. So maybe i am waiting for the end of greedy Zoella.
  • She then spoke about her Instagram poll about "why do you follow me" -- people said shes "She positive, down to earth and real" -- NO COMMENT
  • She then went on again "I don't feel like I can be myself. I feel like I have impostor syndrome, living my deyes in a daze and I feel safer not posting anything" -- Her own fault, I cannot sympathise.
  • "I don't think I can be the honest, real version of me" -- you can but you would rather accept the easy money fake Zoella brings
  • "I still want to make content, but I want to refocus. Take a step back and think about the content I want to make" -- I am waiting, since she took 8 months to redesign her blog which never came to fruition. I wonder will she take a year break from YT to "find her creativity" LOL
  • "For a long time because of expectations, I didn't venture outside anything I had already done" -- The money was easy thats why you didn't change the content, but you are no longer the Queen of YT
  • "My videos probably do not give me creative fulfilment" -- they don't give us that either
  • "I don't push myself on videos anymore" --- Zoe gave up pushing herself years ago, she had an easy ride and stayed there
  • "I hope you don't mind me taking a breather on my Zoella channel. There might be some changes, some things I don't share or keep to myself" --I wonder, maybe a breakup?
  • "I just want to express I am not having a crisis. I can see it now 'Zoella in crisis'" -- still jaded towards the press
  • "I am still gonna be posting vlogs and on Instagram" - SO NO BREAK? LOL (I remember her social media break where she still was liking tweets lol)
  • "I feel the longer we are surrounded by negativity, the more normal it becomes. People are losing empathy" -- Oh jeez, because everyone is no longer kissing your arse the world has a problem? GIRL BYE

  • She then switches to showing her cupboard full of old Zoella crap
  • Then shows her OTT makeup collection -- for someone that goes nowhere, she sure has a lot of makeup
TO SUMMARISE: Having a break from Youtube...BUT still filming ads for brands, is bringing a new Cosmos range out end of August 2018, will do Vlogmas 2018, is releasing tit for Christmas 2019, is probbaly shilling Girl Online for a film deal
 
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the entire office segment had nothing at all:rolleyes:
ok my response in blue

GossWhore said:
MY GIRL IS BACK VLOGGING, SO THAT MEANS THE RETURN OF VIDEO RECAPS

THE LONG ASS WOO ME I NEED A BREAK TALKS BEGINS AT 26:53
  • "When I started this 10 years ago I talked about how I felt, I now think I have overshared" --- that was what her fans loved then she tried retreating and now shes fcked <- HUH what did she overshare. her & 1pounder r/sh ? basically Zoe has shared so little. i think even Louise talks more about her life and I don't even watch Louise!

  • "The platform is changing and its a scary place to be sometimes" -- basically YT are not paying me due to crappy algorithms NO surprise since YT has become a MONEY-making place career for YTber. a place for work is not the same as a place for fun.

  • "I would be lying that every day of those 10 years has been the best days of my life" -- but most of the worst days (book scandal, driving whilst vlogging, Hello World) she created those messes!!!
I would be lying too if I say every day of my X years of working has been the best days of my life!
  • "Some things have made it a little hard to enjoy what I do. Like the amount of people and expectations and how people see me like content creators and media outlets" -- still blaming the press for portraying her negativity like she is not responsible. Also is that content creator Louise?
For the $ she get, the expectations are going be high
I guess she's so stressed from having to launch products and write more silly books to pay herself and her staff. lol
  • "I didn't start this to build a career" -- but you did and you made a tit tonne of money from it, so take ownership of it.
  • "I hate the expectations and pressure that comes with this" -- Basically I created a fake relatable girl next door persona and now cannot live up to it
it's call adulting
  • "I feel like I can't fully be myself online" --- see above bullet point
  • "The culture of what Youtube is right now, is so not what is was 10 years" -- basically blaming "call-out culture" for her demise, all this woo me bs is exhausting
  • "I feel I cannot be myself as people are circling me like hawks. Waiting for me for me to do something" -- tbh I am waiting for her to do SOMETHING. ANYTHING. But I am not waiting for her demise, most of us used to sub to Zoe and would prefer her to thrive honestly instead of shilling teenagers. So maybe i am waiting for the end of greedy Zoella.
she's scare from what happened to 1pounder and all his fiascos
  • She then spoke about her Instagram poll about "why do you follow me" -- people said shes "She positive, down to earth and real" -- NO COMMENT
the costs of her furnitures :p
  • She then went on again "I don't feel like I can be myself. I feel like I have impostor syndrome, living my deyes in a daze and I feel safer not posting anything" -- Her own fault, I cannot sympathise.
  • "I don't think I can be the honest, real version of me" -- you can but you would rather accept the easy money fake Zoella brings
what skeletons are she hiding?
  • "I still want to make content, but I want to refocus. Take a step back and think about the content I want to make" -- I am waiting, since she took 8 months to redesign her blog which never came to fruition. I wonder will she take a year break from YT to "find her creativity" LOL
  • "For a long time because of expectations, I didn't venture outside anything I had already done" -- The money was easy thats why you didn't change the content, but you are no longer the Queen of YT
  • "My videos probably do not give me creative fulfilment" -- they don't give us that either
honestly, hers are so blant since she doesn't show any real feelings. I bet she won't even dare to make a negative review of anything
  • "I don't push myself on videos anymore" --- Zoe gave up pushing herself years ago, she had an easy ride and stayed there
  • "I hope you don't mind me taking a breather on my Zoella channel. There might be some changes, some things I don't share or keep to myself" --I wonder, maybe a breakup?
  • "I just want to express I am not having a crisis. I can see it now 'Zoella in crisis'" -- still jaded towards the press
  • "I am still gonna be posting vlogs and on Instagram" - SO NO BREAK? LOL (I remember her social media break where she still was liking tweets lol)
fall vlogs, halloween vlogs, plus the cashcow, Vlogmas
  • "I feel the longer we are surrounded by negativity, the more normal it becomes. People are losing empathy" -- Oh jeez, because everyone is no longer kissing your arse the world has a problem? GIRL BYE
  • She then switches to showing her cupboard full of old Zoella crap Ikr, from 2 years ago?
  • Then shows her OTT makeup collection -- for someone that goes nowhere, she sure has a lot of makeup
AND she said she just declutter. SO MUCH STUFF

TO SUMMARISE: Having a break from Youtube...BUT still filming ads for brands, is bringing a new Cosmos range out end of August 2018, will do Vlogmas 2018, is releasing tit for Christmas 2019, is probbaly shilling Girl Online for a film deal
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Just take a break zoella, dont go on and on about it.

The platform no longer favours you, you peaked and got to the top from luck and don't have anything creative or inventive about you to stay there.

While you are at it might as well take a break from releasing products. The sales must be halving everytime she releases a new product.
 
I think also the fact Zoella Is Over videos are very popular right now, so in the past when she could escape, she can no longer hide from her own bs. People have called her out on GG, Twitter, Instagram and her last "safe space" Youtube with these videos.

I say this as I am on a new YT account and a "Why Zoella time on Youtube is up" is being recommended. LOL
 
FamHam said:
Just take a break zoella, dont go on and on about it.

The platform no longer favours you, you peaked and got to the top from luck and don't have anything creative or inventive about you to stay there.

While you are at it might as well take a break from releasing products. The sales must be halving everytime she releases a new product.
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She should relaunch as Zoe Sugg and leave Zoella in the past
 
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